'Beauty is in the eye of the beholder' What's something you've seen recently that you thought was beautiful?
I'm ashamed to say that off the top of my head, I can't think of anything. Well, not something personal. I've seen pictures of babies, flowers, and sunsets on the internet, but they were things other people had garnered the beauty from. I'm creating and project that I think is beautiful, but if I said that about my own work, people would think me conceited...or delusional.
Our culture and beauty...your thoughts?
It's too difficult for a woman in our culture to be considered beautiful. It takes too much surgery, too many stylists, too many wardrobe and makeup changes, too much Photoshop, too much shame, and too much money. It's not worth it. And on that subject...
Age before beauty, beauty queen, beauty mark, beauty sleep...which beauty-ful phrase resonates with you today? Why?
None really. I'm not even going to talk about sleep anymore.
I read here a list of the top ten beasts animals that scare us the most-
alligators, coyotes, black bears, birds (but pigeons in particular), sharks, bats, bed bugs, rats, rattlesnakes, and the black widow spider. Which 'beast' on the list scares you the most? What is the likelihood of you having an actual encounter with that particular beast? Did a movie contribute to your fear of this creature? Have you ever had a real life encounter with any of the animals listed?
Since there's not much chance I'll come in contact with any of these animals, I'd have to say none.
Where were you when you last heard a bell ring? Was it alarming or musical?
Sunday. We have a bell that signals the end of Sunday School/Life Groups. It usually scares the water out of me.
What's your favorite carb? How's that for random?
Healthy carb? Gala Apples. Not-so-healthy carb? Ice cream.
Let's wrap up another month of Hodgepodging and life with an acrostic. Recap your month using the word MARCH.
What it's about: Kopp uses scripture reflections and prayers to assist the reader in bringing his thinking about diet and exercise in the right direction. She gets to the core of many common issues dieters deal with.
Favorite Quotes:
"It helps to remember that your goal is bigger than inches or pounds can measure--ant it's more important than any special occasion. Your goal is to become all that God created you to be." - p. 18
"Not only did God think up the whole idea of food, He actually intended that it be a good thing! He wanted food not just to keep us alive, but also to 'gladden' us and to 'sustain' us. God never intended for food to become your best friend or your path of fulfillment. But He also never intended for food to become your enemy." - p. 58
"If your tummy seems never to be full, consider whether your life is full enough. Invite God to 'mess' with your life. And listen for any change of plans He might have in mind for how you spend your time." p. 128
"He [Jesus] will, again and again, choose you. And not because He's obligated to or because you're automatically included in His Father's grand redemption plan for the whole human race. You in particular have been chosen, loved, and pursued by Him." - p 172.
"Spiritual truths triumph over emotional woes." - p. 176
"When I am most unhappy with myself, I am most critical of others. When I am most into self0condemnation, I am most judgmental of others." Brennan Manning. p. 198
What I Liked:
The structure of the book didn't demand that you start on January first; only "Day 1." Also, there were only 100 entries, rather than 365, so if I took longer than 100 days to read all the entries (which I did), I wouldn't feel behind or pressured.
The prayers were on point with many of the issues I deal with.
The book was very encouraging and covered the spiritual side of health. There were no meal or exercise plans, but spiritual plans for action.
What I didn’t like:
The author is very good about telling the reader what needs to be done, but gives no indication that she is working through her own journey. The book is very impersonal; Kopp is good about quoting others, but there's nothing of her in it--no examples from her own life and no indication that she's ever had a struggle with weight. Reminds me of a Ted Talk I saw online of a Victoria's Secret model who thought she was giving women hope by saying the only reason she was a world class model was because she "won a genetic lottery." That kind of impersonal bull is very insulting, not to mention ostentatious.
She assumes that everyone who will read this book is a married female. Males and singles deal with these types of issues too.
To sum up: I would recommend this book to those who are on a health quest who want spiritual biblical encouragement. This will definitely go on my "reread" shelf.
What it's about: Patterson asserts that there are 10 common thoughts those who are overweight struggle with. She discusses how those thoughts keep people overweight, or at least makes the struggle for health harder than it should be.
Favorite Quotes:
"The truth is, nature and nurture may nudge you towards an unhealthy weight, but being overweight doesn’t have to be your fate. There are examples all around you that counter the beliefs you’ve accepted without scrutiny." Location 114
"Dave Ramsey is famous for saying, “If you’ll live like nobody else now, you can live like nobody else later.” Meaning, live within your means now and you’ll have what you need and want later. It’s the same thing with food. It’s as if there’s a food budget you can work with. If you eat everything now, you will not have the health you need to be able to enjoy food later." Location 153
"Give some thought to your attitudes about food. In reality, it is fuel. It is not an emotional crutch, a prize, a validation of your worth . It is to be enjoyed, but not gamed." Location 234
"Not to be gross, but is food just something that you’re going to stuff into one hole and eliminate through another? Your perspective on food is a huge factor in whether you will be able to release the excess weight that you are carrying." Location 367
"If you cannot support your health and your body by proper eating and exercise, all these other things that you think you’re so busy doing, will cease to be a problem for you because you’re going to end up sick or dead." Location 371-376
"Are you going to look at life as if it’s never going to go your way, that it’s a constant battle, that it’s hard? Or are you going to look at it as a joyful experience that’s full of opportunities? Can you see that you are fully equipped to face any challenge that comes your way? To enjoy the wonderful life you have every moment you’re here?" Location 422
What I Liked:
Many of the mindsets she dealt with were right on point for me.
The writing style was conversational.
The author deals with why these thoughts derail ones efforts to gain health. She doesn't simply say, "These thoughts are bad. Stop thinking that."
This is not a "think yourself thin" book of psychobabble. The author doesn't leave out the need for diet and exercise changes; she simply says that to do these things but still think negatively will stall one's efforts.
What I didn’t like:
At 51 pages, the book was too short. It contained some good starters, but it needed more practical solutions to change the damaging thoughts she describes. Yes, she does deal with the what and why, but the book is lacking in the "how" department.
There was nothing of the author in the book. She doesn't describe how she (or anyone else for that matter) defeated these thoughts, lost the weight, and kept it off. Is it merely theory with her, or is she a fellow struggler?
This electronic edition had no real page numbers.
There were typographical and grammatical errors that any decent editor should have caught and corrected.
To sum up: This book gave me incentive to tackle some of these damaging mindsets. Since the author doesn't really offer any, I will have to seek out solutions to changing the thought pattern. I would recommend this book to anyone who struggles with weight issues.
Why: Like The Daniel Plan, I though this book would be another helpful tool in my arsenal against food addiction.
Rating (on a scale of 1-4 hashtags): #
What it's about: The author asserts that one's eating habits are a direct reflection of his spiritual life. She asserts that her techniques will negate the negative effects of this connection.
Favorite Quotes:
"No matter what we weigh, those of us who are compulsive eaters have anorexia of the soul. We refuse to take in what sustains us. We live lives of deprivation. And when we can't stand it any longer, we binge. The way we are able to accomplish all of this is by the simple act of bolting--of leaving ourselves--hundreds of times a day." - p. 37
"At some point, it becomes about the weight. When you can't live the rest of your life with ease, the weight itself needs to be addressed. Not so that you can become super-model thin. Not so that you can look like an image in your mind that has nothing to do with your body, your age, your life. You need to address the weight because without addressing it, you don't actually live. You schlep yourself from place to place, out of breath. Sitting is painful. Flying is torturous. Going to the movies is challenging. You become so burdened with the problem you've created that your life become small and your focus becomes narrow. Life become about your limitations. What you can and cannot do. How much you can hide. How ashamed you are of yourself. You close down your senses, you leave the world of sounds, of color, of laughter in favor of a reality you've created yourself. If you keep using food as a drug, if your life becomes about your weight, you miss everything that is not related to your weight problem. You die without ever having lived." pp. 59-60
"...the associations we have with feelings are in the past....It's that we perceive a present-day feeling through historical eyes. Through the eyes of a child." p. 103
What I Liked:
The one epiphany I gleaned from this volume is this. I have grown weary with my present emotional connection with food being based on past emotions. I'm tired of navel gazing and reliving childhood hurts over and over in the name of "recovery." Could we please move on and learn to live in the now? To eat in the now?
What I didn’t like:
The author's reference to God is a misnomer. Roth admits at the very beginning that she doesn't believe in the God of the Bible. Her belief is in more of a higher power--basically, a supreme being she can make out of what she wants--and sometimes that higher power is her. Had I known this, I most likely would not have purchased the book. It was in the Christian book section of the thrift store. Whoever stocked the shelves may have just seen "God" in the title and assumed--just like I did.
It's a quick read, but it still takes her a long time to even remotely get to the point. Although Roth makes it a point to tell the reader what's wrong with diets and deprivation, she leaves the reader quite spiritually and mentally empty with a lot of flowery maxims, but no real substance to hang onto.
Her "eat what you want when you're hungry and feel your feelings when you are not" approach looks good on paper, but in reality reads of resigning oneself to poor mental and physical health. This, she calls the Guidelines, goes into a multi chapter monologue where she describes what eating her way should accomplish, but not how to go about doing it until the very last page of the book. Apparently, Roth forgot that eating what one wants and listening to one's body is what causes excessive bodily weight gain. Her assumptions about mental health asserts that "no one is broken," however, her method of dealing with feelings, called the Inquiry (which is never fully described), dives into that brokenness. Her technique, plus her sentence structure shows that she is confused and wants others to be confused also. Sorry, this has "Guru trying to sell a book but doesn't have a clue" written all over it.
If you're sensitive to language, you won't like this one.
Since when is this only a female problem?
To sum up:
Although this book has a few good points, it's not a volume I would read again. I also wouldn't recommend it to anyone.
If you would like to join in and post your own Daybook, please head on over to visit Peggy at The Simple Woman's Daybook
For Today: Sunday, April 5, 2015
Outside my window … Cool breezes and partly cloudy skies.
I am thinking...
About whether I'm being a total nob or not. I've got several friends who have expressed interested in cycling with me, yet they refuse my invitations, but continue to plan and have cycling sessions with each other. Look, I freely admit that I'm a slow cyclist and can't yet go long distances and I know there are scheduling conflicts. My beef isn't even with that. My beef is that they say they want us to ride together, but never do. Just say you don't want to ride with me. I prefer honesty over cordial BS any time.
I'm also thinking about Anorexia Nervosa. I go through cycles where I look at documentaries and literature on the disorder. It started when I did a research paper on eating disorders in college. My thoughts tend to run on a similar track when this happens. I blogged about it the last time I went through the cycle nearly 3 years ago:
I was watching a documentary on YouTube about a young girl in a group treatment facility for anorexia. I was fascinated by a statement one of the girls made:
There’s someone who lives in your head, but she’s moved the real you out of your brain and just sort of left a tiny bit of it and she controls your brain and everything you do.
First, this quote answers your question: Why is she watching videos about anorexia? She's fat. I watched them because 1) I envy these girls for their appearance of discipline to simply not eat and/or to exercise excessively (I said I envy the discipline, not the disorder) and 2) because I wanted to understand the mentality of someone who was dangerously thin, yet still thought they were fat. I have found that in my case, the mentality of the obese and the anorexic is shockingly similar. I have often felt that I was under the control of an "alternate" me. No, not disassociation or demon possession, but a fracture between the outside me and the inside me. The outside me is the one people see; the people pleaser, the chameleon fueled by the fleeting strength of the false bravado of someone without a care or need. The real me, the inside me, is the me I one I want to see when I look in the mirror and I'm shocked when I don't. She is strong and healthy, has friends and is free to express needs Then there's "HER": the mediator between the inside me and the outside me. "HER" is the taskmaster who yells in my head: "unworthy of love" "fat, ugly, lazy, disgusting slob!" "Only a two pound weight loss, that's not good enough! YOU'RE NOT GOOD ENOUGH!" "FAILURE!" "Who do you think you are?!" "You might as well give up and eat. EAT! EAT! EAT!" "HER" propels me toward junk food like a junkie toward crack, all the while soothing me with the lie of, "It will get better. This is the last time you'll have to do this." In all this, the real me gets lost; locked deeper and deeper into a prison cell--a limited space with no prospect of escape (much less thriving).
I'm making strides to change, but "HER" is still fighting for control.
I'm also thinking about something a "friend" said to my Friday, "You've just got more smarts than you should have." What the Sam Hill is THAT supposed to mean? "Hey, I'm not comfortable with your intelligence. I need you to be stupid to make me feel better." This is the same person who said in all seriousness that they felt more comfortable if I stayed fat. I don't even have any more room to be angry; just simply done.
I am thankful... For the death, burial, and resurrection of Christ.
I'm also thankful for a 70 mile walking/running month. That's a total of 180 for the year. I'm caught up for my MAD x 2 goal.
In the kitchen... Had a little Easter feast over the weekend. I baked a turkey breast and made potato salad; my housemate baked a ham. We added a few side dishes and voila.
From the Workshop...
THIS is how my paintings should be matted and framed. Much better, huh? For those who were wondering, my work is listed for sale here or here.
Update on birdhouse quilt-ghan. As you can see, I've nearly gotten the fence built. I had another project to finish up for Easter, so I've not done much work on it. This week, I'll be adding much more to the project. Stay tuned.
I am reading... Finished reading Dream Thieves by Rick Renner. The review is here. Currently off the shelf:
I am looking forward to... My thighs not rubbing together when I walk.
I am learning… That I hate being an afterthought.
Around the house... Nothing special.
A favorite quote for today...
One of my favorite things... Cooing babies.
A few plans for the rest of the week: I've got "little old lady" duty this week. My housemate has a doctor's appointment Monday; my mom on Tuesday. I thought we were getting a break with the Community Band after our concert. Apparently we're not, but I am! I'm also running a 5k on Saturday.
A peek into my day...
The Calhoun County Community Band had our Winter/Spring concert on Tuesday. It was so much fun. A big thank you to my local peeps who made it out to the concert. In the picture is my buddy, Caleb, my housemate's great grandson. He's a budding musician. I may have only showed him how NOT to play, but oh well.
My sister Clara and I went out to Oxford lake and took a stroll on Saturday. It was gorgeous, as usual, and the ducks were in rare form. I need to walk there more often.
And now for something totally different...
NEW!
Sometimes things you see or hear just hit so hard you've got to ask...
Leah M. and I walked on the Ladiga Trail today and saw this in the bushes just off the trail. Yes, it is a toilet. I don't know what the point of putting it there was; there's better facilities close by.
The Atlanta Braves traded Craig Kimbrel and one other player to the Padres for seven players. That's as bad as the Bergdahl trade for the terrorists. What were they thinking?
From Twitter: @GregBQuotes: "I'm just weird that way, if I don't get invited, hell, I won't show up!" To @BillBubbaBussey Who Asked Why Greg Missed His Christmas Party (Rick and Bubba Show)
From a Google search when I was looking for something completely different:
No matter what our position in life, we've all had stupid things said to us. Various situations prompt us to speak before we think--trust me, I've done it myself dozens of times. However, it seems the most asinine comments come from people trying to "encourage" an overweight friend.
I know, I haven't done a Thursday thirteen in a while, but what follows is a list of 13 things you shouldn't say to an overweight friend -- especially one working on her health. Yes, I've had these said to me, and yes, I've either thought or said the snarky comments afterwards. I'm not telling you which ones I actually said. :)
"You're beautiful inside and out." - This is such a backhanded compliment. People have to add the "inside and out" because they can't simply say a big girl is beautiful. Besides, how do you know what I look like on the inside? Haven't you ever done dissection? Yuck!
"You have such a pretty face." - Here's "inside and out's" sister compliment. What they're thinking, but not saying is "...but you have such an ugly body." With comments like this, sometimes you just have to smile and think, "Bless your heart. I wouldn't pee in your ear if your brain was on fire."
"A food addict? Come on, it's not as dramatic as all that. You could just not eat that, then you wouldn't be a food addict. Problem solved." - You could just shut up too, then you wouldn't be so stupid. Problem solved.
"You don't need to eat that." - **SLAP!!** I'm sorry, what did you say? You were minding your own business and staying out of my plate? That's what I thought you said.
Please don't make Richard Simmons-esque comments when you see a larger person eat something you approve of. "Good for you for making such a healthy choice! That's GREAT!" - Yeah, I can poo-poo in the potty all by myself too. Go sit down somewhere!
"Running? You?!" - I had a 13 year old say that to me two weeks ago. Where is your mama?! I know it's against the law to beat other people's children, but...
"Running's bad for your knees." - Kicking you in the butt is probably bad for my feet too, but I'm going to do it anyway if you don't hush. By the way, I had more knee problems when I was heavier than I ever have since I started running.
"I'm worried about you and all this exercise." - But you didn't give a rats behind when I wasn't exercising. Hello, the logic train has left the station.
"Slow and steady wins the race." Since when? That logic doesn't work for NASCAR, and it ain't working for me either. I'm slow and steady, and I ain't won nothin'!
"You are why our healthcare is so high." - You are why our test scores are so low! Kiss my...never mind.
"Gastric Bypass surgery would be so much easier." - How is being gutted like a catfish easier? This surgery doesn't have a very good track record and it is extremely dangerous. Besides, didn't you just say I'm making your healthcare higher?
"That weight you gained was just muscle, water, mucus, or air from where you need to fart." - I'm fat, not stupid.
"You wouldn't have __________ if you just lost weight." - Good grief, I've had everything from toenail fungus, to glaucoma, from dandruff to an oil leak in my car blamed on my weight. This stuff makes my middle finger twitch.
I'm in the throws of a very good book; So Long, Insecurity by Beth Moore. I'll review it when I'm finished with it, so I'll not go into major details of the book now. However, Moore gives many fascinating (raises Spock eyebrow here) questions to ponder.
In chapter three, she states that those of us who deal with chronic insecurity have a "false positive"-- the one thing that we believe would make us more secure in everything. She asks the reader to ponder what that one thing might be. You would think that question would be easy for me to answer. But no, I've got so many potential answers that I have to see the one place they all lead. The single road where all the others fork from is physical perfection.
When I say physical perfection, I do not merely mean ridding myself of the excess weight in order to be healthy. I mean the whole package: slimmer body, well kempt hair that should never see a ponytail or bun in public, teeth that never show my propensity for morning coffee, a well-hidden strabismus under better looking spectacles (think Greg Proops cool), everything always showered and shaved, painted and powdered, the works.
Why? Why is this one the granddaddy of them all? Because for a woman, if she has physical perfection, she wins (or at least stands a better chance of winning) at everything else:
Physical - of course, with the perfect physique she wins everything associated with beauty. She gets her picture taken to represent what beauty is. She's not cropped out of group photos because she makes the group look good. She is "it."
Mental - She would acceptable even if she had any kind of depression or less than perfect behavior. She would hear, "Oh, bless your heart, I know you're having a hard time. What can I do for you?" instead of overhearing, "I knew her fat ugly butt was cray-cray. Is there a way to get rid of her? She's really making us look bad."
Spiritual - Churches would adore her as the "Proverbs 31" woman. She would be asked to all the fellowships, ladies' binge watching parties, and other such connections. She would be the one the church would be proud to call one of their own--she represents the best of the best--the cream of the crop, if you will. After all "whatsoever things are lovely...think on these things" right?
Social - Her most acceptable state is married (of course, what good man could resist her beauty?) with perfect little beautiful children. If she isn't married, this will be acceptable...for a time. "Oh honey, we know that you are just waiting for the right one. Remember, you DESERVE the best."
Financial - Pretty girls get the best jobs (qualified or not). They don't get passed over for promotion (again, like the church, she's a beautiful representation of our company. Again, qualified or not). If something goes wrong, the beautiful girl will never be ostracized for being on public assistance. "Darlin' you've got to do what you can to take care of yourself. You've got to keep yourself in what you're used to. A pretty girl like you DESERVES the best."
Sounds like an awesome life to me. If I could just get there, surely I would be totally secure, right? Most likely not, but I haven't read that far in the book yet.
“Even if you look good–because women at 40, 50, 60 are working out and y’all look good–but you can’t wear the pants that say ‘Juicy.’ Stop that!” - Sinbad, Comedian
I hate shopping. I know that's a shocker for a female to say. Want to pass out? I'm probably the only woman on the planet who hates to buy shoes. *thud*
In the beginning when my clothing size was off the chart, shopping was difficult because there wasn't much available for the plus size/extended size/heifer-husky size. The choices were stripped muumuu, flowered muumuu, stripped muumuu with flowers, flowered muumuu with stripes...you get the idea.
As I began to lose x's--I've lost at least 3; I've got one left--I had more choices...sort of. The smaller the size, the less fabric used to make the garment. Can designers not find a happy medium between "Extreme Makeover: Prude Edition" and "BET's Hoochie Mama Collection" without everything looking like a business/church lady suit or MawMaw wear? Look, my 80-year old mom doesn't even wear MawMaw wear! But hey, at least it's not a muumuu.
A wonderful piece of advice that has helped me in my journey actually came from Dr. Phil. Years ago In my cable days when his show featured The Ultimate Weight Loss Challenge, he said that when clothes were too big, to get rid of them. This gets rid of two things: the temptation to make poor choices that get me back into the larger sized clothes, and the "might need" mentality that sets me up for failure (and clutter). I've done that, and even though I'm struggling, I've managed to stay in the same sized clothes for more than a year. Dr. Phil also said to get rid of elastic waist pants, but I can't go there yet. Elastic waist pants are cheaper.
It's a small thing, but I'm still amazed every time I look at the XL tags in my clothes. It still feels like they shouldn't fit, but they do. After looking a huge clothes in my closet for so many years, an XL, though still big, looks very small to me.
Imagine what a nut I'll act when I'm down to a large! Have mercy!
For more information on the A-Z Blog Challenge, go to:
What if everywhere you went, you ran into someone you didn’t like? In fact, you absolutely loathed them! Wouldn’t that be an absolute horror? "Oh, crap," you’d think "him again!" You go to a party and you have to hear all about her family and what she thinks. You go to church and he’s sitting right beside you in choir to sing loud and off-key in your ear. "What a pain in the...butt this is!" you think. Then, it gets even worse. There he is at the dinner table with you! She’s lounging by the pool on your vacation. They are EVERYWHERE!
Now, before you put on your sanctimonious shoes and say "I don’t hate anybody. God says we’re supposed to love everybody’ answer me this question. What if I told you that the hated person I just described is YOU?
That's right, YOU!
As many mean things as I've seen, heard, and had done to me over the years, the meanest things I see now are thing things that we say and do to ourselves. We give others grace and mercy while giving ourselves none, we say things to and about ourselves that we wouldn't dare say to or about someone else. When is the last time you told someone else that they were fat, old, lazy, and stupid? Yet, we say these things to ourselves every day.
So how to we fix this? We've got to get UGLY:
U - U
G - Gotta
L - Love
Y - Yourself
One of the hardest things for me to take on in my journey is loving myself. It comes from a combination of fighting low self-esteem from years of feeling unloved by others, plus being taught the bonehead concept that loving oneself was selfish and sinful. In several places in the Bible, it says to love oneself:
Leviticus 19:18 - Thou shalt not avenge, nor bear any grudge against the children of thy people, but thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself: I am the Lord.
Matthew 22:37-39 -Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. 38 This is the first and great commandment. 39 And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.
Romans 13:9 - ...Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.
Galatians 5:14 - For all the law is fulfilled in one word, even in this; Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.
James 2:8 - If ye fulfil the royal law according to the scripture, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself, ye do well.
These passages tell me one important thing: I cannot truly love others until I truly love and care for myself. I tried for years to simply focus on loving others and ignore my own needs and feelings. I tried to make the passages say, "Love thy neighbor better than thyself. In fact, don't love thyself at all." The worse I felt about myself, the worse I felt about others and assumed they felt the same way about me as I felt about myself. Talk about depressing. I had start trying to see myself as God saw me--the way Christ saw me--I was to die for. I'm nowhere near where I should be, but I'm working on getting and staying UGLY.
The getting UGLY principle in recovery? Principle 2: Earnestly believe that God exists, that I matter to Him, and that He has the power to help me recovery. "Happy are those who mourn for they shall be comforted." Matthew 5:4
For more information on the A-Z Blog Challenge, go to:
It was decided on Sunday the Denver Broncos will meet the Seattle Seahawks in this year's Superbowl. So when was the last time you bowled? Not where you thought this question was going is it? Do you like to bowl? Are you any good?
The last time I bowled was about 2 years ago with a group from Celebrate Recovery. I like to bowl, though I'm terrible at it--I think my bowling average is like 35 or something. I just don't like that I only get to go every few years. The only people I know who bowl regularly are part of a league. My bowling is not good enough for that. Sorry, but going by myself is no fun.
Should sports stars be role models?
To reiterate what I said in my very first Hodgepodge post. I think everyone should strive to be good role models, not just athletes.I think sometimes athletes, like actors or musicians, get put on too high of a pedestal.We often forget that these are real people too with real pain and real flaws.Now, don’t get me wrong, if someone is deliberately acting a fool and does not even remotely want to change, they need to get themselves together.Someone who makes a mistake and is working to try to correct it needs to be encouraged, not berated.
January is National Oatmeal month...are you a fan? How do you like your oats?
I used to really like oatmeal, but something happened the last time I bought some. It didn't taste good at all. No matter what I put in it, I just couldn't eat it. I may try again this summer when the fruit is fresher and I can try some new flavors. For right now, I'll stick with grits for a warm, creamy breakfast.
Oatmeal. Reminds me of a joke. "Aren't you getting tired of Wilfred Brimley telling you what the right thing is to do?" - Mike Warnke
What is one book on your reading list for 2014?
Real Christianity by William Wilberforce. I was given this book years ago and never read it. I'm taking up Jon Acuff's Empty Shelf Challenge in hopes of reading more books this year. BTW- if you want to follow my progress on this challenge, I'll be posting updates on Pinterest (http://www.pinterest.com/sdmadd1/jon-acuffs-empty-shelf-challenge/) and, most likely, writing reviews here on my blog.
What would you like your future self to say to your present self?
"Don't stop before the miracle happens!"
When scrolling through the TV guide, what is one movie title that makes you want to stop, grab the popcorn, and watch for a while?
That's easy. The Princess Bride. I absolutely love that movie. "Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die. STOP SAYING THAT!"
What are two style trends you hope never come back into fashion?
Bell bottoms and Jherri Curls. Ready for the World's Oh Sheila anyone? They've got some serious Jherri Curls in this video.
Insert your own random thought here.
On the subject of fashion. Today, I watched the makeover episode of The Biggest Loser (thanks hulu.com). I don't know a thing about fashion, but I learned something from fashion consultant Tim Gunn during this show. He purposefully did not put the contestants in the same types of clothes they wore when they were overweight. He and the hair stylist didn't want them to see just a prettier version of the same overweight person.
This makes me think about my own journey. I'm in a size I haven't worn in ages. I've been that size for almost year and I still look at those clothes in my closet and think that's too small. There's no way I can wear that--although they do fit.I think when I get to the point that I can go to a real store (not a thrift store) and look for and pick out what I want, my mentality will change. I am thankful for what I have, but still...
I spy with my little eye something that is...FLAWED! Every time I look in the mirror, I look at all that is wrong with me. My vision is that of an inspector looking for any "spot or wrinkle" to pounce on. My inner dialogue...well, and my outer monologue... is that of a brutal taskmaster who says, "Look at you! What a waste! What's wrong with you! Fix this! Fix that! Get yourself together! Time is short! Hurry, hurry, hurry!" The pressure is overwhelming.
My own warped vision has put me in a very dangerous depressive place mentally. It gotten me to see only the bad, the flawed, the not good enough. I think my own warped seeing has been what's caused me to sabotage my own healthy efforts. No, I don't think it is; I KNOW it is. "For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he..." (Proverbs 23:7).
It's going to take some doing.to change my mind. It's going to take momentous mental energy to on purpose see the good, the little areas of progress, to actually enjoy the journey instead of constantly saying "I'll be happy when..."
What's something you're dealing with that might be described as tricky?
Definitely finding a good job is tricky.
What's your treat of choice?
As far as candy goes, Snickers bars are my treat of choice. I'm trying to come up with non-food treats to reward myself with. Reminds me of a Pinterest pin: Do not reward yourself with food; you are not a dog.
Did you/will you carve a jack-o-lantern this month? Which real (living or dead) or fictional 'Jack' would you most like to meet in person? Why?
No on the jack-o-lantern. Can't really think of any "Jacks" I would like to meet. Jack Nicholson and Jack Black would probably frighten me or gross me out more than anything. All my friends drool over Jack Sparrow, but I've never even seen Pirates of the Caribbean.
In your opinion, what's the grossest sounding word in the English language?
Arugula - Sounds like a horrid disease; not something to eat. "Yeah, I had arugula, but took some Exlax and got rid of it."
When did your heart last skip a beat?
April 23, 2004 - the day my father died. I was at work when I got the call. My heart stood still and I thought it would never start again.
If I have to pick between this list, I'd pick Thriller. I was a big Michael Jackson fan in the 1980's (back when he was black).
It was a dark and stormy night when______________________________.
...when I stayed home and read a book.
Insert your own random thought here.
I have spiritual convictions about not celebrating the spooky/satanic elements of Halloween. However, it would be nice to dress up in a costume and go have some fun. No harm in that. I had intended to be at a good weight this year to wear a real batgirl costume and go out somewhere...I don't know, kidnap my nieces and go trick or treating or something. But not this time. I'm probably just going to stay in tomorrow. Maybe next year. Besides, I don't know if I'm ready to be around a lot of candy.
Here's a fun Halloween playlist. Enjoy
Look Out There's a Monster Coming
No Monsters
God is Bigger
Rocky Horror - Whose Line style.
Yeah, I know, I'm weird. But that's why you love me. :)
Day 18: What is the most difficult thing you have had to forgive?
First, let me say that the people involved in this issue are NOT members of my family (thank God). Second, the guilty parties are either long gone or long dead. Third, if you are ultra sensitive, you might want to read a different post. Maybe something more upbeat.
When I got into recovery and started working the 12 steps, I found it very hard to forgive all the sexual damage that was done to me. Rest assured, I kept my virginity through it all, but I had to fight tooth and nail to keep it. I've been molested and nearly raped several times. I had my first (and last) kiss ruined in college by some numb nut who thought I would like it if he tried to shove his tongue down my throat--I didn't want or ask to be kissed in the first place. I've had other forms of perverse sexual behavior forced on me (a rather graphic incident at a swimming pool when I was nine comes to mind--I'll not write it here).
Well, if you kept your virginity, what's the problem?
It's a problem because now, at 41 years old, I am damaged goods. People often ask me why at this late age--like I'm old or something--that I'm not married, or at least dating and looking. Here's why; no man in his right mind should be subjected to all my junk. Good men--not lazy, trifling, sorry, thuggish men--are tired of needy, damaged women. It's not fair to subject them to such nonsense. He would need to go through a 12 step program to date me. No kidding! I have so many fears surrounding sexuality and relationships. Some of my hangups about this are why I've been obese for so long. I was afraid that a man would find me attractive...
Can I tell you a secret? My most hated cuss word is the "F" word. I don't like profanity--real profanity not southern cussin' (that's different)-- but I often wondered why that one word sends shockwaves through my nervous system. Of all things, a TV program brought it out. Craig Ferguson was doing an interview with Stephen Fry. Both men are from Great Britain. They were commenting on the differences in US television and programming in the UK. Mr. Fry made mention of the "F" word and said he didn't understand the censorship of the word on network television in the United States. After all, in his reasoning, the word simply meant "intercourse" or "copulation," which to him were beautiful things, and of course, Mr. Ferguson agreed. Sorry gentlemen, not to me. Yes, the word is a slang word for sex, but to me that act is only in the context of rape or a man taking from a woman that which has not been offered. It is a man trying to prove his manhood by overpowering a woman and forcing her to do his will. There's nothing beautiful about that. So there is a Late Late Show episode that had me crying with something other than laughter.
...So, if a man found me physically attractive, he would simply take from me what he wanted and go. Now, do you understand why forgiving was so hard? These males (I refuse to call them men) stole a lot from me. They stole my dignity and my right to be a woman and act like a lady instead of a scared little wannabe tomboy. For a while, they removed my trust of men. They took some of my innocence away and replaced it with terror and dysfunction. They stole any hope I have of acceptance. In our society, it's unacceptable to be older than 30 and unmarried. They pilfered my children and my mom's grandchildren, thus a lot of potential happiness.
I put on weight thinking that maybe that would deter potentially lecherous goobers. No luck. The heavier I got, the more it seemed to happen. (!!) Now, I care more about my health than the goobers. I most likely can outrun the goobers. If not, I can always to Madea on them! Or better yet, Bon Qui Qui--I will CUT you!
My forgiveness was NOT for their benefit, but mine. My anger at them was hurting me, not them. My excess weight was killing me, not them. I didn't forgive simply because God said to; I did it because He knows that forgiveness is what brings healing. Bitterness is deadly. I heard Joyce Meyer say that harboring unforgiveness was like drinking poison hoping that the other person would die. Doesn't work, does it?
