Hold My Beer and Watch This: The Weekly Hodgepodge

Want to join the party?  Go on over to From This Side of the Pond  for the Hodgepodge link-up!

Besides leftover Easter goodies, what's something currently kept in a basket at your house?

Nope, no leftover Easter goodies.  The Easter Bunny didn't visit me, but I do have plenty of yarn.

'The greater danger for most of us is not that our aim is too high and we miss it, but that it is too low and we reach it.' ~Michelangelo Buonarroti )

So which one are you...the one who aims too high, or the one who aims too low? Have you ever seen The Sistine Chapel? Did you know Michelangelo's surname prior to answering this question?

Oh, I definitely aim too low.  I think it's to try to avoid disappointment, but that's not healthy thinking.  Zig Ziglar is first person I remember saying this truth "If you aim at nothing, you will hit it every time." 

Nope, I've never seen the Sistine Chapel and for all I knew, Michelangelo's surname was "how ya doin'?"

April 7th is National Beer Day. Hmmm...wonder how that's celebrated? Do you like beer? Have a favorite? If you're not a beer drinker do you have any recipes you enjoy cooking that call for beer?

I liked beer when I was a teen, but I don't care for it now.  My favorite was plain old Budweiser.  Now, the only use I have for beer is to kill slugs when I grow tomatoes...and I haven't grown tomatoes in a coon's age.

Speaking of Beer: Famous last words of any Southern man, "Hey, hold my beer an' watch'is!" 

When did you last travel somewhere new? Tell us where? How'd it go?

Nowhere exotic or far away.  I keep telling y'all I ain't never been nowhere. 

The value of _________________________is greatly overrated.

This is going to piss off a lot of people, but my answer is motherhood. KEEP READING; DON'T ASSUME.  This is not a slam on my mother, or anyone else's mother for that matter; it is an acknowledgement that although motherhood has been presented as the only use for a woman, I am not cut out for it.  As much as I love kids and enjoyed teaching, I would make a terrible mother.  I would not submit a husband or children to my issues and damage, so for me, it's overrated.

What's a pet peeve of yours when it comes to restaurant dining?

The restaurant being so dark that I can't read the menu or see my food.  For the love of Mike, turn some lights on!

It's Poetry Month...share a favorite poem, either the title, a few lines you find meaningful, or the whole kit and caboodle.

From Whose Line is it Anyway:  Scenes from a Hat: 

Poems about embarrassing moments...

I was held up at gunpoint.

I did not know what to do.

He said, "Give me your money!"

and I made number two!

 

-Wayne Brady

First lines of the worst poems ever written...

When I was drunk

you were beautiful...

 

-Wayne Brady

Can you tell I'm not really into poetry?  To quote Craig Ferguson, "Hey, you want class?  Watch PBS!"

Insert your own random thought here.

My energy level is much better than it was last week.  I'm ready to start cycling outside (I think).  Pictures to follow.

I finished another book in my full shelf challenge.  The review is here.  It's not too late to join the challenge.

Got a sneak peek at the course for Saturday's College of Nursing 5k at Jacksonville State University today.  It's going to be a good fun race.   

I'm thinking of starting an "Auntie Dictionary."  Are there names, places, phrases, acronyms, etc. that I use in my blog that I haven't thoroughly explained?  Let me know.  If the dictionary isn't necessary, I'm not going to waste your time with it. 

Titters From the Twitter (and Other Places): September 2014

This month's titters from the Twitter (and other places).  Enjoy!  

 

09/02:  From Twitter:  @Bec_giddy tweeted:

 

09/02:  From Facebook:  T.Kingston shared:  "Saw this on Twitter: Just realized that Sally is an idiot for Selling Sea Shells by the Sea Shore... THEY'RE ALREADY THERE FOR FREE, SALLY"

 

09/02:  From Facebook:  C.Harper shared:

 

 

 

09/04:  From Facebook:  M.Cheyne shared:

 

09/06:  From Instagram:  JonAcuff:

 

09/06:  From Twitter:  ‏@tweetingteach  tweeted:          

#ExplainAFilmPlotBadly has reminded me of this brilliance....  

 

09/06:  From Facebook:  C.Looney shared:

 

09/08:  From Facebook:  C.Harper shared:

 

09/08:  From Facebook:  The Crochet Crowd shared:

No, just, no!

 

09/13:  From Facebook:  R.Tompkins shared:  "A fourth grader had killed his first deer... And of course he was talking it up at school... One of his vegan friends asked him, 'didn't you feel anything when you shot that poor deer?'  He said, 'Yep, recoil.'"

 

09/13:  From Facebook:  S.Maddox shared: 

 

09/15:  From the web:  Saw this commercial while I was watching a program on hulu.com:

 

 

 

09/15:  From Facebook:  E.Pruit shared:

 

 

From my friend, Andrew, who collects these on his phone:

 

 

 

09/17:  From Facebook:  R. Tompkins shared:

 

09/18:  From Facebook:  T.Brown shared:

 

SEC football fans understand.

 

09/20:  From Facebook:  N.Payne shared:

 

09/21:  From Facebook:   

 

 

09/24:  From Twitter:  @CraigyFerg tweeted:  "My 3 yr old son just told me, 'I love you even when you do toots from your bottom.'   He shows a level of tolerance I find inspiring." 

 

09/26:  From Twitter:  @dasfuxi tweeted:  "Whenever I need to vent, I go to Google Maps and angrily shake the little Street View person. Then I feel sorry for the little guy."

 

09/27:  From a podcast on ITunes:  ""I have a pretty high tolerance [for marijuana]: just slightly lower than Cheech and a little bit to the left of Snoop." - Greg Proops

 

09/28:  From Facebook:  K.Johnson shared:

 

 

 

09/29:  From Facebook:  T.Harper shared:

 

 

 09/30:  From Facebook:  M.Cheyne shared:

 

 

 

C is for Craig Ferguson [A-Z Blog Challenge]

Theme A B

C

Craig Ferguson



 

"Sober alkies are often asked, ‘When did you hit rock bottom?’ But a more informed question might be, ‘How many times did you hit rock bottom?"

 

Craig Ferguson

 

 "Look, the point is, I already know how to eat better; we all do.  Honestly, is there anybody out there that doesn't know how they should eat?  It's pretty simple; you eat more vegetables and fewer snacks that are covered with orange dust.  Ah, sweet, delicious orange dust.  I like to rub it on my gums like fluorescent cocaine.  Oooh, I need another Cheeto bump!"  

 

 Craig Ferguson 

Sometimes God brings people into my life that I feel I have nothing in common with.  Some I interact with in my daily life, some are far away images who the Lord uses as examples and distant heroes.  One such person is comedian Craig Ferguson.

Ferguson is a naturalized American citizen originally from Cumbernauld (a small town on the outskirts of Glasgow, Scotland).  He came to America in the 90's and worked his way into show business.  He is now well known for his comedy, acting, and hosting the Late Late Show. 

So, how does a self-described "vulgar lounge entertainer" become a recovery hero for a small town Southern girl?  First, earlier this year Ferguson celebrated his 22nd year of sobriety, having been to rehab for drug and alcohol addiction and continuing to stay sober ever since.  I've only been in Celebrate Recovery for food addiction for a little over 5 years, so anyone who's maintained his recovery longer than I have I look up to.  I mean how, how do you just never touch the stuff again?  I still can't imagine myself never overeating or eating for emotional reasons again.  I'm a lot better, but still...

Second, Mr. Ferguson is not a Hollywood pretty boy who went to "celebrity hospital" and lounged by the pool for "rehab holiday."  He never says he was in rehab for a couple of weeks and everything was O.K., so what's wrong with the peasants who can't get it together.  In fact, his story is quite the opposite; he went to a regular place with regular people at a facility in England, not L.A.  He worked hard and went through the process.  He's a reminder that the recovery process is not a microwave, but a crock pot, and he's still simmering away.

Third, he's just plain real about life and recovery.  He's open about the fact that he's an alcoholic (among other things), had a couple of failed marriages, still struggles with food and weight, and was very damaged by his childhood. Yet, he made something of himself.  No, I don't agree with everything he says or does, but he has more humility about his foibles than many Christ followers I know.  He says, "Yep, I'm screwed up, but I'm still going and having a blast doing it."  My story is not nearly as dramatic as his, but yet I've wanted to give up many times.  He mentors me without even knowing it.  When I see him online (I don't have cable) or read a quote of his, I'm encouraged to keep on.  Yes, I realize his blessings and success seem to only be on this side of heaven (for now).  But look at it this way.  Mr. Ferguson has accomplished great things while trying to find the God that he admits he doesn't understand.  I made a decision for Christ almost 28 years ago and still have no type of success in my small corner of "JackVegas"--Alabama's version of Cumbernauld.  I don't have nearly the influence he has, nor the ability to help as many people as Mr. Ferguson.  I can learn from his work ethic and business sense. He is not a victim of circumstance; he has kicked circumstance in the taint and sent it away crying for its mama!

For more information on the A-Z Blog Challenge, go to:

http://www.a-to-zchallenge.com/



Titters From the Twitter (and Other Places): March 2014

This month's titters from the Twitter (and other places).  Enjoy.

03/06: From CBS.com - The Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson:  "90% of the Great Lakes are frozen over. Los Angeles just recovered from three days of drizzle, so we can relate."

03/07:  From Twitter:  @JonAcuff  tweeted: "How can you just leave me standing alone in a world that's so cold?" What I told mom as a kid when she'd leave me alone with the grocery cart.

03/07:  From Twitter:  @lanyardigan tweeted:  You think you're pretty okay at doing stuff, and then you try to plug something into an outlet you're not looking directly at.

03/09:  From Twitter:  @Bridger_w tweeted:  At some point, I'd love to see a character in a movie make a line of cocaine not with a razor, but with a tortilla chip.

03/12:  From Twitter:  @StatsBritain tweeted:  80% of Britons who spell words without a 'u' will eventually be tracked down by Liam Neeson.

03/16:  From Pinterest:  A.Raulerson pinned:
03/17/14:  From Facebook:  D.Raulerson shared:

Text I just received and my pictorial response......






























03/18/14:  From Facebook:  L. Sprayberry shared:

03/19:  From Twitter:  @MissGraoully tweeted:  Political science explained by Craig Ferguson: "England boils everything & Scotland fries everything, that's why they can't get along"

03/19:  From www.stuffchristianslike.com:

03/26:  From Facebok:  M.Payne shared:



















03/27:  From Twitter:  @HonestToddler tweeted: "We're going to Target for paper towels. See you in three hundred dollars."

03/27:  From Facebook:  L.Huggins shared:

Since I've been seeing everyone's No Makeup Selfie, I decided to post mine proudly. #maybeshesbornwithit #maybeitsmaybelline

03/28:  From Twitter:  @BenDukes tweeted:  Just saw a commercial for an overnight laxative, where the woman is sleeping in white sheets. Anyone else think that's a bad call?

03/30:  From Twitter:  @nprmonkeysee  tweeted:  It's simultaneously snowing hard and raining hard. You get the virgin, I'll start up the volcano. We have to end this.

03/30:  From Facebook:  T.Kingston shared: 

03/30:  From Facebook:  T.Walker shared:

03/31:  From Facebook: D.Raulerson shared: Hyperbole is my favorite literary device. I use it like 800 million times a day.

My Recovery Story: An Audio Blog

Tonight, I shared my story with the Jacksonville, Alabama Celebrate Recovery.  I would like to share with you: 

https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/29899706/CR%20Testimony%202014.mp3

It may take a few minutes to load, so please be patient.  I hope it blesses you. 

Love,

Auntie

#97 - Eat Mor Chikin'...PLEASE! [101 in 1001]

I've heard a lot about vegan diets and how beneficial they are supposed to be to the body.  In all honesty, I'd probably make a better vegetarian than vegan.  I can go without meat a lot longer than I can go without eggs, dairy, or other animal products.  But, I thought I'd try it for a week and see how it goes.

The Good

For starters, eating fruits, vegetables, and nuts isn't new to me.  They are already an integral part of my diet.  The first couple of days were tough, but good.  Do you know how hard it is for a Southern girl not to put butter on her grits or not eat any chicken?  Eating cleaner is always a good thing.

The Bad

"What do we want?  VEGETABLES!
When do we want them?  ALL THE
'OOH LA-LA' TIME!"

I spent most the week on the couch or in bed.  I had absolutely no energy and started getting dizzy, cold, and achy.  I only got in one workout, and it wasn't pretty.  I don't mean just a little lethargic; I was as weak as lukewarm dishwater.  Now, I need to insert a caveat here.  My system can't tolerate much soy.  For example, soy milk does to me what regular milk does to the lactose intolerant.  Therefore, I couldn't incorporate any tofu, soy cheese or other such products into this experiment.  I'm not sure if soy products would have made any difference, but my body was screaming for iron and my muscles were protesting for lack of significant protein by the end of the week.  Also, my doctor made some changes to my medication and that didn't help matters either.

The Ugly

I find it funny that people will take vegetables and form them into the shape of meat, but no one's ever taken meat and tried to market it in the shape of a vegetable. "Hey, look at this carnivorous broccoli! It's made out of bacon!" - Auntie's Musings

 

When I went shopping for my vegan week, I noticed that my local Wal-Mart had a tiny section of vegetarian products in the freezer section.  I like hamburgers, so I thought I'd try a veggie burger.  To be fair, they didn't taste too bad.  However, the ingredients left a lot to be desired.  Things like textured vegetable protein, modified tapioca starch, disodium glutamate, cellulose, soy lectin, egg whites (egg whites?  I thought this was a veggie burger.) were listed.  OK, maybe I'm a simpleton, but shouldn't a veggie burger have veggies in it?   Even the "textured vegetable protein's" ingredients didn't contain a single vegetable (wheat gluten, soy protein, and water).  This isn't a complete listing.  These veggie burgers had more chemicals listed than a Coca Cola.  I think the vegans and vegetarians are being duped into buying this crap. 

 

The Conclusion

 

If you can/must eat vegan, I say God bless you, but it is definitely not for me.  It's going to take days for me to recover from this experiment.  Pass the chicken, please.

Titters from the Twitter (and Other Places): February 2014

This month's titters from the Twitter (and other places).  Enjoy.



02/02:  From Twitter - @bgrhubarb tweeted:  "Ex-TSA employee claims agents routinely laughed at naked X-rays of passengers. I'd laugh at my X-ray too, just sayin."

02/03:  From Twitter - @bgrhubarb tweeted: 

02/05:  From Twitter:  @DrHenryCloud tweeted:  "My 13 yr old daughter said she has been reading some great quotes by a guy named Anonymous. .....really good stuff."

02/06:  From YouTube:  Henry Cho on The Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson.

 



02/09:  From Twitter:  @JonAcuff tweeted:  Autocorrect just changed "nice" to "nibs" on me. I think I'm going to start using that instead of epic. "How was the concert?" "Nibs."

 

02/10: From Twitter:  @JonAcuff tweeted:  I wish just one Olympic alpine skier would scream the entire way down the mountain. Just "NO! NO! NO! HELP ME!!!!" the whole time.

 

02/12:  From Twitter:  @bgrhubarb tweeted:  A giraffe is like a periscope made of horse.

 

02/15:  From Twitter:  @VeryShortStory tweeted:  "It was over. I'd felt powerful, sexy and loved. Now, an empty plate sat where the chocolate cake had been. The loneliness crept back in."

 

02/15:  From Facebook:  C.Looney shared:  "Ok,  just crushed a whole row of thin mints. not feeling guilty at all."

 

02/16:  From Facebook:  E.Renfroe shared:  "Did I really just see a post where someone noticed that her Greek yogurt contained milk? Yes, I did. Oh, my goodness gracious."

 

02/16:  From Instagram:  JonAcuff posted:

 

Unless you own a restaurant, if your mayonnaise comes with a handle you have a problem.

 

 

 02/18:  From Twitter:  @JonAcuff tweeted:  "We loved the crazy things you said on Twitter. You're like a curse-filled piñata. You're hired!" Said no employer ever.

 

02/19: From Twitter:  @HonestToddler tweeted:  Toddler Tip: One simple way to help parents around the house is to trip them with your body.  Teaches reflexes. 

 

02/19: From Twitter:  @JeffBryanDavis tweeted: I need a recording studio in my shower. I just laid down a rap about underwear that might actually have been important.

 

02/21: From Twitter:  @sdmadd1 tweeted:   "Being on social media is like talking to yourself hoping someone will step in and stop the madness." 

 

02/21:  From Twitter:  @bridger_w  tweeted:  Just went to pick up a paper clip but accidentally picked up two paper clips. Sometimes I don't know my own strength.

 

02/21: From a Google search when I was looking for something else:

 

02/28:  From Twitter:  @bgrhubarb tweeted: I'm amazed sheeps' clothing is even made in wolf sizes. That's just asking for trouble. 

Cream of the Crop: The Simple Woman's Daybook

If you would like to join in and post your own Daybook, please head on over to visit Peggy at The Simple Woman's Daybook

 

For Today:  Sunday, February 16, 2014

Outside my window … Haven't opened the shades yet.

 

Praising God for…  Warmer weather.

 

In prayer for...  the end of the winter depression.

I am thinking... about how to change my thinking.

I am thankful... that I have sweet friends who put up with my insanity and struggles.  They are truly ride or die friends.  May I be worthy of such love and caring.

 

In the kitchen...  Not sure yet.  Probably something to do with chicken.  Hey, I'm from the south and it's Sunday, it's a rule to have chicken.  :) 

I am wearing... Black pants, colorful blouse, and black jacket.

I am creating... Working on a few scrap crochet projects.  Pondering over paintings to do.  Also getting ready to start a writing project.

 

I am going... To church and worship team practice today.  Tomorrow?  Hopefully out on the Ladiga Trail to bike with my friend Tamara.  I have a doctor's appointment Tuesday.  Other than that, same old, same old.  Actually, I hope not same old, same old.

 

I am wondering... about how to increase my energy level.

I am reading... My goal is to finish the book Boundaries for Leaders by Dr. Henry Cloud this week and start a new book.

I am hoping...that this season is not forever.

I am looking forward to... total health.

 
I am learning… that laptop keyboards are crap.  For the second time in less than a year, I'm going to have to replace my keyboard.  For some reason, indiscriminate keys just stop working. Got to find my buddy Chris to see if he can order me a new one.  For now, I'm got an auxiliary keyboard attached to the laptop.  In essence, turning my laptop into a desktop computer, temporarily.

Around the house... cleaning.  Getting myself ready for the week.

 

I am pondering...  How to be heard without being a jerk about it.  You think I say some stuff; you'd be horrified if you knew all the stuff I didn't say. I'm really not wanting to turn into the bitter old spinster will 99 cats.  Ugh!

 

A favorite quote for today... One serious, one (or two) silly.

"When people are hurting, they need simple truth, not simplistic truth. It’s not enough to tell someone to pray, read the Bible, or go to church. You have to help them know how to make changes in their lives." - Pastor Rick Warren

"Poppycock: I think you can get that from eating too much kale." - Craig Ferguson

"We ain't rude in the South. We're polite and punctual and forgiving. And we smell a little bit like vanilla." - Wavy Rancheros

One of my favorite things... Pickup trucks.

A few plans for the rest of the week:  Continue to job hunt, finish up projects, and hopefully leave the cave as much as possible.  Last week was so cold that staying inside was best.

A peek into my day...  I've heard the phrase "elite weekend" thrown around a lot by my internet tribe.  Their little darlings are going to their dances this weekend.  I thought I was making unnecessary assumptions about what that meant until I looked up the definition of elite:  "the choice or best of anything considered collectively, as of a group or class of persons."   Really?  Telling your kid that they are better than everyone else is to be celebrated?  Kind of gives the middle finger salute to the "non-elites" doesn't it?  Geez!  What a lovely image to present to our children.  "No children, don't work hard and study hard, your good looks will get you everything you want."  Double Geez!

 

Titters from the Twitter (and Other Places): January 2014

This month's titters from the Twitter (and other places).  Enjoy.

01/01 - From Facebook:  S.Maddox shared - I find it funny that people will take vegetables and form them into the shape of meat, but no one's ever taken meat and tried to market it in the shape of a vegetable. "Hey, look at this carnivorous broccoli! It's made out of bacon!"

01/08 - From Twitter: @JonAcuff tweeted:  My friend just told me, "The Bachelor is a real life documentary about love." I told her, "We can't be friends anymore."

01/08 - From Instagram:  JonAcuff:

Can we please agree that this is cannibalism?

01-09 - From www.stuffchristianslike.net

01-09 - From cbs.com:  "Tonight's show brought to you by Nosecandy Weight Loss Centers - do a bump and lose that rump." - Geoff the Robot on Late, Late Show with Craig Ferguson (#CBSCares)

01/10 - From Twitter:  @JonAcuff tweeted:  "Day 1 of owning an ant farm is awesome. Day 12 is like a space base with only 3 survivors who you're pretty sure killed everyone else."

01/11 - From Pinterest:  A.Raulerson pinned:

01/15 - From Twitter: @JonAcuff tweeted:  With each passing day, the fear gets smaller, but deep down I know the Columbia House Record Club is still out there trying to send me CDs.

01/15 - From Facebook:  James Spann shared:


If you're from the South, you get it.  #Snow

01/24 - From Twitter:   @bgrhubarb tweeted:  "A new study claims comedians are psychotic. Okay, now let's diagnose the adults who sit in the front row and yell about their birthday."

01/26 - From Twitter:  @bgrhubarb tweeted - Airport security suspect explosive, find haggis - The Scotsman: http://www.scotsman.com/news/odd/airport-security-suspect-explosive-find-haggis-1-3280444#.UuTn30-073c.twitter … Good job security people!

01/26 - From Twitter:  @JonAcuff tweeted: I want to see an episode of Hoarders where they tell LL Cool J and Samuel L. Jackson that they own too many Kangol hats. #Grammys

1/27 - From Facebook:  R.Tompkins shared: 

01/28 - From Twitter:  @bgrhubarb tweeted - BREAKING: DirecTV subscribers lose The Weather Channel over fee dispute. Luckily, subscribers will keep windows, which they can look out of.

01/30 - From Twitter:  @CraigyFerg tweeted:  So my sinus infection seems to be over but I'm afraid that, out there somewhere, are forty pounds of snot...waiting...waiting... #jawsmusic

01/31 - From Twitter:  @JonAcuff tweeted - If you ever feel cocky about your twitter following, remember that @CSLewis, who died in 1963 and is somehow verified has 381,560 followers.