Pink Hearts: The Weekly Hodgepodge

Want to join the party?  Go on over to From This Side of the Pond  for the Hodgepodge link-up!

Do you wear your heart on your sleeve, or keep your emotions tucked in tight?

Keeping my emotions tucked in tight has caused me to wear my emotions everywhere but my sleeve;  my hips, my belly, my thighs, etc.  For someone who constantly heard "you shouldn't feel that way," I'm on the hunt for balance.

How did you meet your closest friend?

I'm not sure who that would be, but most likely, I met him/her at church.

Pink lemonade, grilled salmon, cotton candy, pink grapefruit, a strawberry milkshake, or raspberry sorbet...of the pink foods listed, which one is your favorite? Least favorite? Which one have you most recently consumed?

Out of the items listed, my favorite would be the strawberry milkshake.  I've never had grilled salmon or raspberry sorbet and I like pink lemonade but haven't had cotton candy since I was in grade school and have only eaten yellow grapefruit, so I can't pick a least favorite.

Speaking of cotton candy... 

When were you last 'tickled pink' over something? Explain.

I substituted at the preschool for the past couple of days.  Little kids always crack me up, so they kept me tickled all day.

Are you a fan of television talk shows? Daytime, nighttime, or both? What's your favorite?

I used to be.  Daytime talk shows that actually talk about something interesting and have good guests were my favorite.  Nowadays, those are few and far in between.  My favorite nighttime talk show was The Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson but he quit hosting the show in December.  I'll probably just watch reruns of that on YouTube.

When was the last time you wanted to ask a question, but felt too foolish to do so?

I daily have questions I wish I could ask, but feel like such a numbskull I don't dare ask.  It gets frustrating at times.

My favorite __________________right now is _________________.

My favorite pants right now are the stretch jeans I bought at the thrift store.

Insert your own random thought here.

I'm flabbergasted as to why people are so excited about the news that Harper Lee may write another novel.  My friends are beside themselves absolutely drooling because they want another book like To Kill a Mockingbird.  Why?  Why would people want more of a story like that? For those who've never read the book or viewed the movie: It's the story of a country lawyer who defends a black man falsely accused of rape.  The man was convicted, sent to prison, and was killed in prison for trying to escape.  Oh yeah, we need more literature like that.  Sure, let's foster more unnecessary hate and division.  No thank you; one forced reading in high school was enough.

Kokomo: The Weekly Hodgepodge

Want to join the party?  Go on over to From This Side of the Pond  for the Hodgepodge questions.

 

What would you say is the key to success?

Heck if I know that.  When I find out, I'll let you know.  I have theories on what success looks like, but I haven't been able to play it out in my life yet.

Have you ever been to the Florida Keys? Any desire to visit that part of the US of A?

No, I haven't, but I would like to. 

When and where did you last see a real live donkey? Monkey? Turkey?

Monkee monkey and donkey?  Never.  Turkey?  Other than on the table brown and crisp at Thanksgiving, nope.

An old Portuguese proverb says, 'Beware of the door with too many keys.' What do you think this means? Share an example of how this has proven true or false in your own life.

I'm not sure.  A door doesn't really have keys.  It requires a key to be opened if it's locked.  So, I don't think a door can have too many keys.  If the key opens the door, that's a good thing.

Besides your home, vehicle, and special jewelry, what is something you keep under lock and key?

Secrets of the heart.

When did you last get keyed up about something?

The Woodstock 5k in Anniston, Alabama this past Saturday.  I'm always keyed up and in desperate need of sleep the night before a race.  Adrenaline always kicks in with the excitement of race day.

Who thinks we need an easy one right about now?  Key lime pie...yes please or no thank you?

Oh yes, please.  Plus, I've had a couple of different brands of Key Lime Pie yogurt that were yummy. 

Insert your own random thought here.



I thought this map of the "Florida Keys" was funny.  Courtesy of the Late, Late Show With Craig Ferguson.

Speaking of the beach...



I finished this seashell painting today.






















Hmm... random thought.  I usually share a picture or a song at this point, but I've already done that.  I will say that seeing all my friends' beach vacation pictures on social media made me kind of sad.  I was happy for them, but mad at myself for still not being at the place to be able to go anywhere for fun, much less go to the beach.  Oh well, it's my own fault.  I'll just keep on working on it, and on me.

Spiders in My Salad: The Weekly Hodgepodge

Want to join the party?  Go on over to From This Side of the Pond  for the Hodgepodge questions.

 
April showers bring May flowers or so the saying goes. Are you blooming where you're planted as we begin the month of May?

No, right now I'm an acorn in the wind just trying to be the nut that held is ground and became a mighty oak... or at least a decent sapling.

On a scale of 1-10, with 1 being no big deal, and 10 being full scale panic, rank your fear of spiders.

1.  I just stomp them and go on.

May is National Salad Month (who knew???)...besides lettuce, what are two must-have ingredients in your favorite salad?

Spinach (it's not lettuce!).  I also must have some sort of cheese, either grated cheese or cottage cheese.  Yes, I know I'm weird, but I put cottage cheese on salad.

I mentioned on my blog last week that my Daughter1 will be moving to Washington State after she is married. Of the following sites in the Northwest, which would you most like to see in person-Crater Lake (Oregon), Seattle (Washington), Vancouver (British Columbia), San Juan Islands (Washington),  Mt. Rainer (Washington) Oregon Coast (Oregon), Mt. St. Helens (Washington), or Olympic National Park (Washington)

Neither.  I'd rather go a little further south and visit sites in California.

This coming weekend marks the 140th running of the Kentucky Derby...when did you last race (literally or figuratively) to cross a finish line? 

About 3 weeks ago.  I ran a 5k in Anniston, Alabama.

What is something little you love?

Babies.  And they love me.

Would you say you are more of a visual, auditory, or kinesthetic learner? Elaborate.

I'm actually more of a tactile learner.  I learn processes and mechanics better when I can get my hands in something and play around with it and do it myself.  For facts I must memorize or information I must retain, I'm a better auditory learner.  I love to read, but I also get more out of a book if I read difficult passages out loud.

Insert your own random thought here.

April has been a strange and difficult month, but not all bad.  Some things I'll not share today because they are not finalized.  But some stuff I need to get off my chest.  WARNING:  venting coming.  If you're not in the mood for it, move on.  I'll be back in the fun zone quickly.

April 23rd marks the 10 year anniversary of my father's death.  The first year was the toughest, but every year after that it got easier. The death of a parent is nothing you just "get over," but the pain of loss eases.  For some reason, this year was different.  Several nights before the "day," I started having dreams about my dad.  They were good dreams, but when I awoke, I had to remind myself he was gone.  The pain started crowding in like it was happening all over again.   

I still haven't visited my father's grave since the day he was buried.  I know I should, but I want to go alone and I don't want to disturb anyone else's time.  I have such a large family that I never know when one of them will be there.  I also fear going alone.  Strange dichotomy, I know, but I need someone to feel my pain with, but not family.  I love my family, but I usually don't allow myself to be the real me around them--not in pleasure or in pain.  I need someone who will not belittle my pain or emotions because they thought I was incapable of them.  For the most part, I grieved for Daddy alone, and I guess I must continue to do so.

Then another sad event much less important than my dad's death happened.  One of my recovery hero/mentors, Craig Ferguson, announced that he is leaving The Late Late Show at the end of the year.  Not nearly as painful, but it just added to an already sucky month.  Hopefully May will be better.  Oh crap, my birthday is in May.  Never mind.  :(

C is for Craig Ferguson [A-Z Blog Challenge]

Theme A B

C

Craig Ferguson



 

"Sober alkies are often asked, ‘When did you hit rock bottom?’ But a more informed question might be, ‘How many times did you hit rock bottom?"

 

Craig Ferguson

 

 "Look, the point is, I already know how to eat better; we all do.  Honestly, is there anybody out there that doesn't know how they should eat?  It's pretty simple; you eat more vegetables and fewer snacks that are covered with orange dust.  Ah, sweet, delicious orange dust.  I like to rub it on my gums like fluorescent cocaine.  Oooh, I need another Cheeto bump!"  

 

 Craig Ferguson 

Sometimes God brings people into my life that I feel I have nothing in common with.  Some I interact with in my daily life, some are far away images who the Lord uses as examples and distant heroes.  One such person is comedian Craig Ferguson.

Ferguson is a naturalized American citizen originally from Cumbernauld (a small town on the outskirts of Glasgow, Scotland).  He came to America in the 90's and worked his way into show business.  He is now well known for his comedy, acting, and hosting the Late Late Show. 

So, how does a self-described "vulgar lounge entertainer" become a recovery hero for a small town Southern girl?  First, earlier this year Ferguson celebrated his 22nd year of sobriety, having been to rehab for drug and alcohol addiction and continuing to stay sober ever since.  I've only been in Celebrate Recovery for food addiction for a little over 5 years, so anyone who's maintained his recovery longer than I have I look up to.  I mean how, how do you just never touch the stuff again?  I still can't imagine myself never overeating or eating for emotional reasons again.  I'm a lot better, but still...

Second, Mr. Ferguson is not a Hollywood pretty boy who went to "celebrity hospital" and lounged by the pool for "rehab holiday."  He never says he was in rehab for a couple of weeks and everything was O.K., so what's wrong with the peasants who can't get it together.  In fact, his story is quite the opposite; he went to a regular place with regular people at a facility in England, not L.A.  He worked hard and went through the process.  He's a reminder that the recovery process is not a microwave, but a crock pot, and he's still simmering away.

Third, he's just plain real about life and recovery.  He's open about the fact that he's an alcoholic (among other things), had a couple of failed marriages, still struggles with food and weight, and was very damaged by his childhood. Yet, he made something of himself.  No, I don't agree with everything he says or does, but he has more humility about his foibles than many Christ followers I know.  He says, "Yep, I'm screwed up, but I'm still going and having a blast doing it."  My story is not nearly as dramatic as his, but yet I've wanted to give up many times.  He mentors me without even knowing it.  When I see him online (I don't have cable) or read a quote of his, I'm encouraged to keep on.  Yes, I realize his blessings and success seem to only be on this side of heaven (for now).  But look at it this way.  Mr. Ferguson has accomplished great things while trying to find the God that he admits he doesn't understand.  I made a decision for Christ almost 28 years ago and still have no type of success in my small corner of "JackVegas"--Alabama's version of Cumbernauld.  I don't have nearly the influence he has, nor the ability to help as many people as Mr. Ferguson.  I can learn from his work ethic and business sense. He is not a victim of circumstance; he has kicked circumstance in the taint and sent it away crying for its mama!

For more information on the A-Z Blog Challenge, go to:

http://www.a-to-zchallenge.com/



Titters From the Twitter (and Other Places): March 2014

This month's titters from the Twitter (and other places).  Enjoy.

03/06: From CBS.com - The Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson:  "90% of the Great Lakes are frozen over. Los Angeles just recovered from three days of drizzle, so we can relate."

03/07:  From Twitter:  @JonAcuff  tweeted: "How can you just leave me standing alone in a world that's so cold?" What I told mom as a kid when she'd leave me alone with the grocery cart.

03/07:  From Twitter:  @lanyardigan tweeted:  You think you're pretty okay at doing stuff, and then you try to plug something into an outlet you're not looking directly at.

03/09:  From Twitter:  @Bridger_w tweeted:  At some point, I'd love to see a character in a movie make a line of cocaine not with a razor, but with a tortilla chip.

03/12:  From Twitter:  @StatsBritain tweeted:  80% of Britons who spell words without a 'u' will eventually be tracked down by Liam Neeson.

03/16:  From Pinterest:  A.Raulerson pinned:
03/17/14:  From Facebook:  D.Raulerson shared:

Text I just received and my pictorial response......






























03/18/14:  From Facebook:  L. Sprayberry shared:

03/19:  From Twitter:  @MissGraoully tweeted:  Political science explained by Craig Ferguson: "England boils everything & Scotland fries everything, that's why they can't get along"

03/19:  From www.stuffchristianslike.com:

03/26:  From Facebok:  M.Payne shared:



















03/27:  From Twitter:  @HonestToddler tweeted: "We're going to Target for paper towels. See you in three hundred dollars."

03/27:  From Facebook:  L.Huggins shared:

Since I've been seeing everyone's No Makeup Selfie, I decided to post mine proudly. #maybeshesbornwithit #maybeitsmaybelline

03/28:  From Twitter:  @BenDukes tweeted:  Just saw a commercial for an overnight laxative, where the woman is sleeping in white sheets. Anyone else think that's a bad call?

03/30:  From Twitter:  @nprmonkeysee  tweeted:  It's simultaneously snowing hard and raining hard. You get the virgin, I'll start up the volcano. We have to end this.

03/30:  From Facebook:  T.Kingston shared: 

03/30:  From Facebook:  T.Walker shared:

03/31:  From Facebook: D.Raulerson shared: Hyperbole is my favorite literary device. I use it like 800 million times a day.

#97 - Eat Mor Chikin'...PLEASE! [101 in 1001]

I've heard a lot about vegan diets and how beneficial they are supposed to be to the body.  In all honesty, I'd probably make a better vegetarian than vegan.  I can go without meat a lot longer than I can go without eggs, dairy, or other animal products.  But, I thought I'd try it for a week and see how it goes.

The Good

For starters, eating fruits, vegetables, and nuts isn't new to me.  They are already an integral part of my diet.  The first couple of days were tough, but good.  Do you know how hard it is for a Southern girl not to put butter on her grits or not eat any chicken?  Eating cleaner is always a good thing.

The Bad

"What do we want?  VEGETABLES!
When do we want them?  ALL THE
'OOH LA-LA' TIME!"

I spent most the week on the couch or in bed.  I had absolutely no energy and started getting dizzy, cold, and achy.  I only got in one workout, and it wasn't pretty.  I don't mean just a little lethargic; I was as weak as lukewarm dishwater.  Now, I need to insert a caveat here.  My system can't tolerate much soy.  For example, soy milk does to me what regular milk does to the lactose intolerant.  Therefore, I couldn't incorporate any tofu, soy cheese or other such products into this experiment.  I'm not sure if soy products would have made any difference, but my body was screaming for iron and my muscles were protesting for lack of significant protein by the end of the week.  Also, my doctor made some changes to my medication and that didn't help matters either.

The Ugly

I find it funny that people will take vegetables and form them into the shape of meat, but no one's ever taken meat and tried to market it in the shape of a vegetable. "Hey, look at this carnivorous broccoli! It's made out of bacon!" - Auntie's Musings

 

When I went shopping for my vegan week, I noticed that my local Wal-Mart had a tiny section of vegetarian products in the freezer section.  I like hamburgers, so I thought I'd try a veggie burger.  To be fair, they didn't taste too bad.  However, the ingredients left a lot to be desired.  Things like textured vegetable protein, modified tapioca starch, disodium glutamate, cellulose, soy lectin, egg whites (egg whites?  I thought this was a veggie burger.) were listed.  OK, maybe I'm a simpleton, but shouldn't a veggie burger have veggies in it?   Even the "textured vegetable protein's" ingredients didn't contain a single vegetable (wheat gluten, soy protein, and water).  This isn't a complete listing.  These veggie burgers had more chemicals listed than a Coca Cola.  I think the vegans and vegetarians are being duped into buying this crap. 

 

The Conclusion

 

If you can/must eat vegan, I say God bless you, but it is definitely not for me.  It's going to take days for me to recover from this experiment.  Pass the chicken, please.

Titters from the Twitter (and Other Places): January 2014

This month's titters from the Twitter (and other places).  Enjoy.

01/01 - From Facebook:  S.Maddox shared - I find it funny that people will take vegetables and form them into the shape of meat, but no one's ever taken meat and tried to market it in the shape of a vegetable. "Hey, look at this carnivorous broccoli! It's made out of bacon!"

01/08 - From Twitter: @JonAcuff tweeted:  My friend just told me, "The Bachelor is a real life documentary about love." I told her, "We can't be friends anymore."

01/08 - From Instagram:  JonAcuff:

Can we please agree that this is cannibalism?

01-09 - From www.stuffchristianslike.net

01-09 - From cbs.com:  "Tonight's show brought to you by Nosecandy Weight Loss Centers - do a bump and lose that rump." - Geoff the Robot on Late, Late Show with Craig Ferguson (#CBSCares)

01/10 - From Twitter:  @JonAcuff tweeted:  "Day 1 of owning an ant farm is awesome. Day 12 is like a space base with only 3 survivors who you're pretty sure killed everyone else."

01/11 - From Pinterest:  A.Raulerson pinned:

01/15 - From Twitter: @JonAcuff tweeted:  With each passing day, the fear gets smaller, but deep down I know the Columbia House Record Club is still out there trying to send me CDs.

01/15 - From Facebook:  James Spann shared:


If you're from the South, you get it.  #Snow

01/24 - From Twitter:   @bgrhubarb tweeted:  "A new study claims comedians are psychotic. Okay, now let's diagnose the adults who sit in the front row and yell about their birthday."

01/26 - From Twitter:  @bgrhubarb tweeted - Airport security suspect explosive, find haggis - The Scotsman: http://www.scotsman.com/news/odd/airport-security-suspect-explosive-find-haggis-1-3280444#.UuTn30-073c.twitter … Good job security people!

01/26 - From Twitter:  @JonAcuff tweeted: I want to see an episode of Hoarders where they tell LL Cool J and Samuel L. Jackson that they own too many Kangol hats. #Grammys

1/27 - From Facebook:  R.Tompkins shared: 

01/28 - From Twitter:  @bgrhubarb tweeted - BREAKING: DirecTV subscribers lose The Weather Channel over fee dispute. Luckily, subscribers will keep windows, which they can look out of.

01/30 - From Twitter:  @CraigyFerg tweeted:  So my sinus infection seems to be over but I'm afraid that, out there somewhere, are forty pounds of snot...waiting...waiting... #jawsmusic

01/31 - From Twitter:  @JonAcuff tweeted - If you ever feel cocky about your twitter following, remember that @CSLewis, who died in 1963 and is somehow verified has 381,560 followers.

Look Out, There's a Monster Coming: The Weekly Hodgepodge

Shout out to From This Side of the Pond for the Hodgepodge questions.

 What's something you're dealing with that might be described as tricky?

Definitely finding a good job is tricky.

What's your treat of choice?

As far as candy goes, Snickers bars are my treat of choice.  I'm trying to come up with non-food treats to reward myself with.  Reminds me of a Pinterest pin:  Do not reward yourself with food; you are not a dog.

Did you/will you carve a jack-o-lantern this month? Which real (living or dead) or fictional 'Jack' would you most like to meet in person? Why?

No on the jack-o-lantern.  Can't really think of any "Jacks" I would like to meet.  Jack Nicholson and Jack Black would probably frighten me or gross me out more than anything. All my friends drool over Jack Sparrow, but I've never even seen Pirates of the Caribbean.

In your opinion, what's the grossest sounding word in the English language?

Arugula  - Sounds like a horrid disease; not something to eat.  "Yeah, I had arugula, but took some Exlax and got rid of it." 

When did your heart last skip a beat?

April 23, 2004 - the day my father died.   I was at work when I got the call.  My heart stood still and I thought it would never start again.

Monster Mash by Bobby 'Boris' Picket, Michael Jackson's Thriller, Werewolves of London by Warren Zevon, or Ray Parker Jr.'s Ghostbusters...your favorite 'scary' tune?

If I have to pick between this list, I'd pick Thriller. I was a big Michael Jackson fan in the 1980's (back when he was black). 

It was a dark and stormy night when______________________________.

...when I stayed home and read a book.

Insert your own random thought here.

I have spiritual convictions about not celebrating the spooky/satanic elements of Halloween.  However, it would be nice to dress up in a costume and go have some fun.  No harm in that.  I had intended to be at a good weight this year to wear a real batgirl costume and go out somewhere...I don't know, kidnap my nieces and go trick or treating or something.  But not this time.  I'm probably just going to stay in tomorrow.  Maybe next year.  Besides, I don't know if I'm ready to be around a lot of candy.

Here's a fun Halloween playlist.  Enjoy

 Look Out There's a Monster Coming

 

No Monsters

 

God is Bigger
 

 Rocky Horror - Whose Line style.

Yeah, I know, I'm weird.  But that's why you love me.  :)

Blog Challenge Day 18: To Forgive is Divine

Blog challenge is from Can I Get Another Bottle of Whine

 

Day 18:  What is the most difficult thing you have had to forgive?

First, let me say that the people involved in this issue are NOT members of my family (thank God).  Second, the guilty parties are either long gone or long dead.  Third, if you are ultra sensitive, you might want to read a different post.  Maybe something more upbeat.

When I got into recovery and started working the 12 steps, I found it very hard to forgive all the sexual damage that was done to me.  Rest assured, I kept my virginity through it all, but I had to fight tooth and nail to keep it.  I've been molested and nearly raped several times.  I had my first (and last) kiss ruined in college by some numb nut who thought I would like it if he tried to shove his tongue down my throat--I didn't want or ask to be kissed in the first place.  I've had other forms of perverse sexual behavior forced on me (a rather graphic incident at a swimming pool when I was nine comes to mind--I'll not write it here).

Well, if you kept your virginity, what's the problem?

It's a problem because now, at 41 years old, I am damaged goods.  People often ask me why at this late age--like I'm old or something--that I'm not married, or at least dating and looking.  Here's why; no man in his right mind should be subjected to all my junk.  Good men--not lazy, trifling, sorry, thuggish men--are tired of needy, damaged women.  It's not fair to subject them to such nonsense.  He would need to go through a 12 step program to date me.  No kidding!  I have so many fears surrounding sexuality and relationships.  Some of my hangups about this are why I've been obese for so long. I was afraid that a man would find me attractive...

Can I tell you a secret?  My most hated cuss word is the "F" word.  I don't like profanity--real profanity not southern cussin' (that's different)-- but I often wondered why that one word sends shockwaves through my nervous system.  Of all things, a TV program brought it out.  Craig Ferguson was doing an interview with Stephen Fry.  Both men are from Great Britain.  They were commenting on the differences in US television and programming in the UK.  Mr. Fry made mention of the "F" word and said he didn't understand the censorship of the word on network television in the United States.  After all, in his reasoning, the word simply meant "intercourse" or "copulation," which to him were beautiful things, and of course, Mr. Ferguson agreed.  Sorry gentlemen, not to me.  Yes, the word is a slang word for sex, but to me that act is only in the context of rape or a man taking from a woman that which has not been offered.  It is a man trying to prove his manhood by overpowering a woman and forcing her to do his will.  There's nothing beautiful about that. So there is a Late Late Show episode that had me crying with something other than laughter.

...So, if a man found me physically attractive, he would simply take from me what he wanted and go.  Now, do you understand why forgiving was so hard?  These males (I refuse to call them men) stole a lot from me.  They stole my dignity and my right to be a woman and act like a lady instead of a scared little wannabe tomboy.  For a while, they removed my trust of men.   They took some of my innocence away and replaced it with terror and dysfunction.  They stole any hope I have of acceptance.  In our society, it's unacceptable to be older than 30 and unmarried.  They pilfered my children and my mom's grandchildren, thus a lot of potential happiness.

I put on weight thinking that maybe that would deter potentially lecherous goobers.  No luck.  The heavier I got, the more it seemed to happen. (!!)  Now, I care more about my health than the goobers.  I most likely can outrun the goobers.  If not, I can always to Madea on them!  Or better yet, Bon Qui Qui--I will CUT you!

My forgiveness was NOT for their benefit, but mine.  My anger at them was hurting me, not them. My excess weight was killing me, not them.  I didn't forgive simply because God said to;  I did it because He knows that forgiveness is what brings healing.  Bitterness is deadly.  I heard Joyce Meyer say that harboring unforgiveness was like drinking poison hoping that the other person would die.  Doesn't work, does it?

Blog Challenge Day 07: Unopened Gifts

Blog challenge is from Can I Get Another Bottle of Whine

 

Day 07: What is your dream job, and why?

Hmmm...now here's the rub.  How much do I trust you with?

What's the worst that could happen?

Well, you could send me nasty e-mails telling me that my dreams are stupid, that I'm an arrogant...something, and that you'll never read my blog again.  Ah, that's your problem!  So here goes.

God has blessed me with many gifts and talents that are marketable and I've been giving them away as freebies for years.  Here are a few things I would like to do, or at least try to see if I'm any good at them:

• Music - I've been a musician for more than 25 years.  My two best instruments are bass guitar and drums.  I'm not even looking to necessarily have my name in lights or be the big cheese.  I think I would enjoy being a studio musician who plays for professional recordings.  Another thought, if you watch Craig Ferguson, you know he's always griping about not having a band on his late night talk show.  Well....HELLO!
• Voice Work - I'm sure I can find the broadcast grade voice I had back in college.  Commercials, movies, radio programs, podcasts, you name it.  I also happen to know that Scholastic has audio books for kids (my class loved these).  I love to read aloud.  It would be awesome to get paid to share my joy of books with children all over the world.
• Writing - I need to put the book ideas I have in my head down on paper.  I may have to self publish at first, but it would be a start.  I've also heard of people getting paid to guest blog for big name bloggers.  I don't have a clue how to be chosen, but I can be praying about it.  Good writers always need editors...I'm very good at finding other people's typos and grammatical errors (that whole teacher thing, I guess).
• Public Speaking - I love to share what I learn and experience with people who want to hear.  Here's a sample:  https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/29899706/Player%209_%20%20Love.mp3
• Craft Business - I've tried this, but want to get another opportunity to do it again, full throttle without hindrances.  My favorite crafts to do are crochet and painting.  I've shared pictures of some of my creations in earlier posts.
• My friends keep telling me that my wit and spiritual gift of sarcasm are made for Hollywood.  We'll see.
• Once I've reached my fitness goals, I would like to be certified as a personal fitness instructor/trainer. 

As you can see, I am quite marketable.  God took this timid, talentless, nobody, and packed me full of all this...and then some.  Now, to figure out how to get out of JackVegas and use some of it.

Squash Casserole: The Weekly Hodgepodge

Shout out to From This Side of the Pond for the Hodgepodge questions.

 
What's one thing you learned in September?

I've learned that I have a lot more sadness and bad memories weighing on me that I care to have.  In this process of dealing with emotions and not eating them,  I'm finding that I'm more tired, more depressed and sick, and more frustrated and angry than I want to be.  I know it's part of the process of recovery, but I would like to find some good in my life and find some closure to many of these issues and memories.

Acorn squash, butternut squash, spaghetti squash, yellow squash, zucchini squash, or blech! hold the squash... what's your favorite squash? What's your favorite way to prepare your favorite squash?

Good ole yellow croockneck squash.

The older I get...

...the more I want to live a real life to its fullest.

What's your favorite television theme song ever?

Ever?  The theme to The Monkees

Currently?  Theme to The Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson

What do you wish you'd spent more time doing five years ago?

• Working out
• Laughing
• Living
• Reading
• Crafting

What item do you most need (or want) to add to your wardrobe this fall?

Pants (slacks, trousers).  I have plenty of nice blouses, but only a few good pairs of pants.  In another couple of weeks, capri pants aren't going to cut it.  A luxury item I would like is a fringed black leather jacket.  I don't need it; I've just always wanted one.

On October 2, 1950 the Peanuts cartoon was introduced to the world. What was your favorite cartoon when you were a kid?

Superfriends.  They could have done without the Wonder Twins, but still, a good cartoon. 

 

Insert your own random thought here.

Had a really good workout last night; the first in a long while.  I cannot say that I'm well yet.  The ability to maintain consistency will determine if I've finally conquered whatever ailment I had.  I'm still working to improve my mood, although it is difficult.  I don't regret for one minute the changes I've made over the last 12 months.  Directly dealing with what ails me mentally or physically is a lot better than sweeping it under the rug, trying to medicate it, acting like it doesn't exist, and being ashamed that it exists.  Yes, I said it, and I'm not taking it back either.

Eating Beans on the Front Row: The Weekly Hodgepodge

Shout out to From This Side of the Pond for the Hodgepodge questions.

 What's one thing that's still the same about you as when you were young(er)?

My love of music.  It's really strange because I wasn't a musical child growing up.  I showed no aptitude for music at all and sung the "daycare version" of every song (enthusiastic, but loud and off key).  Not until I was a teenager did I show any musical prowess at all.

What's more important-history or science? Why?



"Jhona's Paradise" painting by me 

I think both are important.  We need to know accurate history so that we do not repeat the mistakes of the past, or so that we can recreate the successes of the past.  Science helps us to think analytically.  Science also gives  us a glimpse into the creativity of God.  I think about the intricacies of a flower.  My photographs try to capture them and my paintings can never capture them all, yet its Creator knows them all.

Lima, kidney, string, garbanzo, black or pinto-your favorite bean?

Sugar snap peas or snow peas.

What's something people come to your town to do?

Attend college at Jacksonville State University.  People also come here to join the Marching Southerners.  If they're smart, they get out of Dodge when they graduate.

When was the last time you were in a meeting? Sum it up for us in five words or less.

The last meeting I was in was a church business meeting.  I cannot sum it up in five words or less because the words I would use are not fit to print.  Thank you and amen.

What special event would you like a VIP pass to attend?

I don't know if this counts, but I would like to sit on "lesbian" row at a taping of The Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson.  Relax, it's not specifically for lesbians, it's just a set of front row seats where pretty girls (and some unsuspecting guys) sit.  They just call it that as a joke  Yeah, I know I don't qualify to sit there, but I'd be able to actually see what was going on if I did sit there.

I would also like VIP seats to an Atlanta Braves game...really, I'd like front row VIP seats to a lot of things.  I've gone to many concerts, Gospel meetings, and sporting events and not sat close enough to really see (or get good pictures of) what was going on.  Would be nice for a change.

What's one piece of advice you'd give a writer?

If you're pleased with what you write, other people's opinions really don't matter.  Yes, you want people to read your work and like it, but putting too much of other people's expectations and not enough of your own heart into your work makes for a miserable (and dull) writer.  That is why my first blog was a failure.  It was a very edited, fearful, timid version of who I really was.  Not good.

Insert your own random thought here.

Can't think of anything, so I'll share a song that's been in my mind:

Wa-wa Moments: The Weekly Hodgepodge.

 

What's something you're never too young or too old to enjoy?

A good book.  The very young can enjoy a book by having it read to them.  The very old can enjoy a book by reading to the very young.

Share one happy memory from your high school years.

Homecoming 1989:  The marching band went to the bottom floor of each of two main school buildings and played out fight song.  The students loved it.  The teachers?  Not so much.  :)

A nationwide strike of fast food employees took place in the US last week...they're calling for higher wages and the right to unionize.  Your thoughts?

Hey, at least they have jobs.

September is National Honey Month...what's a favorite dish you make or eat that calls for honey?

Don't have one.  I don't eat honey. I like it; I just don't eat it.

If you notice someone with a tag sticking out, a button unbuttoned, a shirt inside-out, or some leftover lunch between their teeth,  do you say something or do you keep quiet?

It depends on who it is and what the problem is.  If it's someone I know well, I know whether to say something.  My friend Marie and I are alike when it comes to tags being out.  Leave it alone, it makes my neck itch.  If your slip is showing, or you've got a button open that shouldn't be open, Marie would say "Your shimmy's shinnin'.'" 

What's a movie that always makes you cry? Or at least makes you feel like crying?

The Miracle Worker (the original one).  The very end when Helen finally understands what words are.  It's beautiful

Mary Had a Little Lamb was written in 1830, and published in Juvenile Miscellany in September of that same year. Now for the fun part...create your own four line rhyme using that same tune.

Some glad morning when this life is o'er.....oh wait, I'm thinking about the Marching Southerners again.  I'm just not good at this game.  WHUP TROY!

Insert your own random thought here.

Can't think of anything....so let's just DANCE!

 

Hodgepodge questions provided here.

http://www.fromthissideofthepond.com/2013/09/a-honey-of-hodgepodge.html

The Day I Found Out I Was Fat

I believe that we are all born with a God-given sense of special purpose.  Every baby believes that he is special, wanted, and loved.  Psalm 139:14 says that we are "fearfully and wonderfully made" by our Creator.  Every girl is a beautiful princess, and every boy an awesome warrior of some sort.  Depending on how we grew up will determine how long this joyful innocence lasts. 



If only that 11 year old girl had
known that 171 pounds wasn't
such a bad place to be, she might
have stayed that size.

Somewhere along the line "reality" sets in and all hell breaks loose.  Something happens and we begin to believe that we are fat, ugly, and worthless.  People we love and trust come along to help cement that thought in our minds.  Madison Avenue and the Abercrombe and Fitch's of the world perpetuate a gaunt, lifeless image and taut it as "cool."  Then, who we are doesn't matter to anyone; only what we look like gets us anywhere. 
 
Well, my "reality" set in when I was about four years old.  I was in Anniston's Stringfellow Memorial Hospital, having had my first eye surgery.  The hospital had a lovely play area for the recovering young patients.  I remember that I was being pulled around the room and hallway in a little red wagon.  I don't remember who was pulling it--could have been my mom, one of my siblings, a nurse, or even the doctor.  I do remember looking down at myself.  I was wearing a nightgown, and because I was four years old, AND because all kids that age would rather be naked than wear clothes or shoes, I looked down and saw my legs.  Wow, my legs look like the big fried chicken legs mama makes.  Wait, that ain't right.  Then, like a bolt of lightning, all the snickers and comments from my family and other children made perfect sense.  I'm fat.  I'm not like other children.  That's why I'm in the wagon and not on the floor with the other kids. I'm the one they're laughing at.  I'm not special, wanted, or loved.  So, along with why I had to have the eye surgery in the first place, I had something else to be ashamed of.

That memory fueled more than 30 years of debilitating self loathing, poor health, and a life of mere survival.  That memory continues to put a huge wedge between what is and what should be, what I am and what I should (and want) to be.

To this day, I still look down at my legs.  Although I am still far from my goal, I have a better outlook.  I see strength in those legs.  I see miles ran and miles to run.  I see a future of winter boots and summer heels that accent and show off the definition in the muscles of those legs (nothing provocative, relax).  I see legs that may learn to dance someday. I see legs that bounce babies as they laugh.  I see legs that sometimes recline on my desk when I'm reading a book.

I am looking forward to the day my innocence is returned.  I look forward to the occasions where I can feel like a special, wanted, and loved beautiful princess again.  It's coming.  I don't know when, but it's coming...

SIDE NOTE:  This video is several years old, but it so aptly describes what media images have done to our psyches.  Enjoy!

We Be Jammin'!: 30-Day Blog Challenge, Day 25

Put your i-pod/i-tunes on shuffle what are the first ten songs?

[Blog Challenge:  Day 25]
 

If you didn't think I was weird before, you will now.  I'm not even going to explain them.  Just listen and enjoy (or shake your head and pray for me). 

• Theme from The Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson.

 

• That Kinda Girl by D.C. Talk

 

• Sweeter - Israel Haughton and Lakewood Church's Praise Band

• R.I.O.T (Righteous Invasion of Truth) - Carman

 

• I Like To Move It - From the Movie Madagascar







• Grano De Mostaza - by Ricardo Sanchez

• Slam - by Carman

• Awesome In This Place - Hillsongs

• Addicted To Jesus - Carman

• God is Exalted - by Carman (I guess the shuffle was in a Carman mood??)

Hmmm... didn't come out as weird as I thought.  No 80's music, no Monkees, no kids songs (unless you count the Move It song); not even Scottish Rite Temple Stomp.  The shuffle was merciful.  :)

[I'm linking up with So, Funny Story http://ktslifeisfunny.blogspot.com for this 30 day  blog challenge.]