Wednesday, April 30, 2014

Spiders in My Salad: The Weekly Hodgepodge

Want to join the party?  Go on over to From This Side of the Pond  for the Hodgepodge questions.

April showers bring May flowers or so the saying goes. Are you blooming where you're planted as we begin the month of May?
No, right now I'm an acorn in the wind just trying to be the nut that held is ground and became a mighty oak... or at least a decent sapling.
On a scale of 1-10, with 1 being no big deal, and 10 being full scale panic, rank your fear of spiders.
1.  I just stomp them and go on.
May is National Salad Month (who knew???)...besides lettuce, what are two must-have ingredients in your favorite salad?
Spinach (it's not lettuce!).  I also must have some sort of cheese, either grated cheese or cottage cheese.  Yes, I know I'm weird, but I put cottage cheese on salad.
I mentioned on my blog last week that my Daughter1 will be moving to Washington State after she is married. Of the following sites in the Northwest, which would you most like to see in person-Crater Lake (Oregon), Seattle (Washington), Vancouver (British Columbia), San Juan Islands (Washington),  Mt. Rainer (Washington) Oregon Coast (Oregon), Mt. St. Helens (Washington), or Olympic National Park (Washington)
Neither.  I'd rather go a little further south and visit sites in California.
This coming weekend marks the 140th running of the Kentucky Derby...when did you last race (literally or figuratively) to cross a finish line? 
About 3 weeks ago.  I ran a 5k in Anniston, Alabama.
What is something little you love?
Babies.  And they love me.
Would you say you are more of a visual, auditory, or kinesthetic learner? Elaborate.
I'm actually more of a tactile learner.  I learn processes and mechanics better when I can get my hands in something and play around with it and do it myself.  For facts I must memorize or information I must retain, I'm a better auditory learner.  I love to read, but I also get more out of a book if I read difficult passages out loud.
Insert your own random thought here.
April has been a strange and difficult month, but not all bad.  Some things I'll not share today because they are not finalized.  But some stuff I need to get off my chest.  WARNING:  venting coming.  If you're not in the mood for it, move on.  I'll be back in the fun zone quickly.
April 23rd marks the 10 year anniversary of my father's death.  The first year was the toughest, but every year after that it got easier. The death of a parent is nothing you just "get over," but the pain of loss eases.  For some reason, this year was different.  Several nights before the "day," I started having dreams about my dad.  They were good dreams, but when I awoke, I had to remind myself he was gone.  The pain started crowding in like it was happening all over again.   
I still haven't visited my father's grave since the day he was buried.  I know I should, but I want to go alone and I don't want to disturb anyone else's time.  I have such a large family that I never know when one of them will be there.  I also fear going alone.  Strange dichotomy, I know, but I need someone to feel my pain with, but not family.  I love my family, but I usually don't allow myself to be the real me around them--not in pleasure or in pain.  I need someone who will not belittle my pain or emotions because they thought I was incapable of them.  For the most part, I grieved for Daddy alone, and I guess I must continue to do so.
Then another sad event much less important than my dad's death happened.  One of my recovery hero/mentors, Craig Ferguson, announced that he is leaving The Late Late Show at the end of the year.  Not nearly as painful, but it just added to an already sucky month.  Hopefully May will be better.  Oh crap, my birthday is in May.  Never mind.  :(


  1. I completely understand the emotion you're experiencing regarding the loss of your dad. I lost my mom in 2000, my brother in 2002, and my dad in 2006. You're right, the pain never goes away. Hope May ends up being a brighter month for you!

    1. I hope so too. Thanks for the encouragement, April. Have a great week.

  2. Congratulations on doing a race!

    I understand how you feel about grieving your dad, sometimes strangers are better at listening than family.