Five Minute Friday: "Gather"

Our Mistress of Ceremonies for the Five Minute Friday is Kate over at Heading Home.  Hope you link up with us and join the fun.

 

 

GO!

 

Shall we gather at the river,
Where bright angel feet have trod,
With its crystal tide forever
Flowing by the throne of God?

 

-Lyrics by Robert Lowry

 

WARNING:  This may take longer than five minutes...

 

Lately the Lord has put me in the path of several of my Christian brothers and sisters who have given up gathering in fellowship with family of God.  It wasn't my place to ask why, though a few gave reasons unprompted.  Whether it be from pain or disinterest, knowing they are going it alone hurts me.  I've been praying for reconciliation and healing for them.

 

Hey, I've been there a couple of times.  I know how easy it is to get hurt and offended.  Church would be perfect if it didn't have people involved.  It would also be very lonely and boring.

 

I gave up the gathering during my years of undergraduate school.  I could lie and say I was too busy with school to attend, but the truth was that I didn't go because I had my knickers in a knot.  Those were some of the darkest, loneliest, and most painful times of my life.  Those were the times when suicide wasn't a mere passing thought, but a call to action that failed each time.  So I simply took to slowly trying to eat myself to death...

 

STOP!

 

I warned you...

 

Several years ago, I had to make a very painful Church transition.  It would have been easy to stay home, eat popcorn and watch Whose Line is it Anyway on the 'net, but that wasn't the answer to the pain I was enduring.

 

Neither I, nor the Bible is saying that one can't go to heaven if he doesn't go to church.  However, it's very hard to enjoy the trip alone. 

 

So let’s do it—full of belief, confident that we’re presentable inside and out. Let’s keep a firm grip on the promises that keep us going. He always keeps his word. Let’s see how inventive we can be in encouraging love and helping out, not avoiding worshiping together as some do but spurring each other on, especially as we see the big Day approaching.

 

Hebrews 10:24-25, The Message

 

As I said, I've been there.  People hurt each other, whether intentional or accidental.  However, we who are followers of Christ are a family.  Every family tree has its nuts and squirrels and every sheepfold has to fight off wolves.

 

OK, enough generalities; let Auntie give you some advice:

• If you don't gather because of offense or hurt:  First, pray for the offender.  Second, if the hurt is so grievous that you can't yet be in the presence of the offender, gather at an alternate meeting.  Why?  It's much easier to make staying away a habit than regularly attending.  It's easier to keep a fire going than to start a new one from scratch.  Third, seek godly counsel from someone not involved in your hurt. That way, you won't be "gathering to yourself teachers, having itching ears"(II Timothy 4:3).  In other words, don't get advice from someone who's going to simply tell you want you want to hear.  Good counsel can help you sort through whether the hurt was intentional or not.  Praying helps you make godly decisions based on the truth of God's Word, rather than our own pain.
• If you don't gather because of sin, strife, or corruption in leadership:  First, pray; always pray.  Second, wipe the dust from your feet and move on.  Don't "cast your pearls before swine" (Matthew 7:6) and don't "give offerings to the dead" Deuteronomy 26:14.  There are so many more good gathering places than bad ones.
• If it's simply a matter of personal preference, as in "they ain't runnin' this place to suit me:"  Put on your big boy/big girl panties and suck it up.  I've had this conversation with many people over the years and I've had to have this argument with myself a few times.  My answer is always the same:  First, why are you bringing this to me?  I don't have any pull or say so in anything and I don't really want to hear it.  Second, if you don't have the balls to go to the person you're mad with, reconciliation is not what you want;  division and keeping strife stirred up is all you want.  Therefore, you are the problem.  Proverbs 6:16,19 - "These six things doth the Lord hate: yea, seven are an abomination unto him...he that soweth discord among brethren."

No, this stuff isn't easy, otherwise everyone would be doing it and churches and Bible studies would be full.  Take it from someone who's been there, it's worth it.  A word of caution:  There's no such thing as the perfect gathering this side of heaven, so please don't hunt for it.  You won't find it.  Auntie's not getting on to you;  I miss you.

 

 

Now the Lord is that Spirit: and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty.

 

II Corinthians 3:17 (King James Version)

Blog Challenge Day 26: One Thing Remains

Blog challenge is from Can I Get Another Bottle of Whine

Day 26:  What popular notion do you think the world has wrong?

The notion that God is mad at them.  They think that God hates them.  Instead of fearing God in reverence and awe, they are afraid of Him.  They've been told that He's just sitting up in heaven with a stick, ready to whack them when they do something wrong (which is a LIE).  No wonder, when so many believers in Christ feel the same way!  The only person who can impugn guilt on someone faster than a Christian is a mom (but I CARRIED you...).  So what do you expect?

OK smarty pants, show me that God isn't mad at me.  Now, in order for me to prove it, I'll have to use the only reliable source I know, the Bible--the Word of God itself.  Here's just a few passages:

Psalm 107:1 - Oh, thank God—he’s so good!  His love never runs out. (The Message) 

Nehemiah 9:17 - ...but thou art a God ready to pardon, gracious and merciful, slow to anger, and of great kindness... (King James)

Psalm 103:8 - The Lord is merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and plenteous in mercy.

John 3:16 - This is how much God loved the world: He gave his Son, his one and only Son. And this is why: so that no one need be destroyed; by believing in him, anyone can have a whole and lasting life.  (The Message)

Romans 5:8 - But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. (King James)

Romans 5:6-8 - Christ arrives right on time to make this happen. He didn’t, and doesn’t, wait for us to get ready. He presented himself for this sacrificial death when we were far too weak and rebellious to do anything to get ourselves ready. And even if we hadn’t been so weak, we wouldn’t have known what to do anyway. We can understand someone dying for a person worth dying for, and we can understand how someone good and noble could inspire us to selfless sacrifice. But God put his love on the line for us by offering his Son in sacrificial death while we were of no use whatever to him. (The Message)

Please, just think about it...


Blog Challenge Day 18: To Forgive is Divine

Blog challenge is from Can I Get Another Bottle of Whine

 

Day 18:  What is the most difficult thing you have had to forgive?

First, let me say that the people involved in this issue are NOT members of my family (thank God).  Second, the guilty parties are either long gone or long dead.  Third, if you are ultra sensitive, you might want to read a different post.  Maybe something more upbeat.

When I got into recovery and started working the 12 steps, I found it very hard to forgive all the sexual damage that was done to me.  Rest assured, I kept my virginity through it all, but I had to fight tooth and nail to keep it.  I've been molested and nearly raped several times.  I had my first (and last) kiss ruined in college by some numb nut who thought I would like it if he tried to shove his tongue down my throat--I didn't want or ask to be kissed in the first place.  I've had other forms of perverse sexual behavior forced on me (a rather graphic incident at a swimming pool when I was nine comes to mind--I'll not write it here).

Well, if you kept your virginity, what's the problem?

It's a problem because now, at 41 years old, I am damaged goods.  People often ask me why at this late age--like I'm old or something--that I'm not married, or at least dating and looking.  Here's why; no man in his right mind should be subjected to all my junk.  Good men--not lazy, trifling, sorry, thuggish men--are tired of needy, damaged women.  It's not fair to subject them to such nonsense.  He would need to go through a 12 step program to date me.  No kidding!  I have so many fears surrounding sexuality and relationships.  Some of my hangups about this are why I've been obese for so long. I was afraid that a man would find me attractive...

Can I tell you a secret?  My most hated cuss word is the "F" word.  I don't like profanity--real profanity not southern cussin' (that's different)-- but I often wondered why that one word sends shockwaves through my nervous system.  Of all things, a TV program brought it out.  Craig Ferguson was doing an interview with Stephen Fry.  Both men are from Great Britain.  They were commenting on the differences in US television and programming in the UK.  Mr. Fry made mention of the "F" word and said he didn't understand the censorship of the word on network television in the United States.  After all, in his reasoning, the word simply meant "intercourse" or "copulation," which to him were beautiful things, and of course, Mr. Ferguson agreed.  Sorry gentlemen, not to me.  Yes, the word is a slang word for sex, but to me that act is only in the context of rape or a man taking from a woman that which has not been offered.  It is a man trying to prove his manhood by overpowering a woman and forcing her to do his will.  There's nothing beautiful about that. So there is a Late Late Show episode that had me crying with something other than laughter.

...So, if a man found me physically attractive, he would simply take from me what he wanted and go.  Now, do you understand why forgiving was so hard?  These males (I refuse to call them men) stole a lot from me.  They stole my dignity and my right to be a woman and act like a lady instead of a scared little wannabe tomboy.  For a while, they removed my trust of men.   They took some of my innocence away and replaced it with terror and dysfunction.  They stole any hope I have of acceptance.  In our society, it's unacceptable to be older than 30 and unmarried.  They pilfered my children and my mom's grandchildren, thus a lot of potential happiness.

I put on weight thinking that maybe that would deter potentially lecherous goobers.  No luck.  The heavier I got, the more it seemed to happen. (!!)  Now, I care more about my health than the goobers.  I most likely can outrun the goobers.  If not, I can always to Madea on them!  Or better yet, Bon Qui Qui--I will CUT you!

My forgiveness was NOT for their benefit, but mine.  My anger at them was hurting me, not them. My excess weight was killing me, not them.  I didn't forgive simply because God said to;  I did it because He knows that forgiveness is what brings healing.  Bitterness is deadly.  I heard Joyce Meyer say that harboring unforgiveness was like drinking poison hoping that the other person would die.  Doesn't work, does it?