Food and Whine: The Weekly Hodgepodge

Join the fun! 

Come on over to 

From This Side of the Pond 

for the Hodgepodge link-up!

 
What's an adult problem nobody prepared you for? 

We are not going there today. 

How tuned in are you to all the recent food related health news? Have you gotten rid of your scratched cookware? Did you pay attention to food additives before they made the news? What's one healthy eating/cooking/food shopping habit you need to adopt? 

With the plethora of snake oil salespeople, the health "experts" who don't know their butt from a hole in the ground, and the flat out liars, I ignore all of these trends and warnings.  Sorry, but I've been through every food fad and fear since the 80s:  eat eggs, don't eat eggs, high fiber, probiotics, eat grapefruit, grapefruit will make you bleed out, cast iron is bad, cast iron is good, Teflon is good, Teflon turns your innards to plastic, fried food it death, fry it and blot it and you'll be OK, organic food it best, organic food is a scam, keto, paleo, low-carb, no-carb, slow-carb, nothing but carb, low fat, Atkins' bacon buffet, sugar will kill you, sugar doesn't do anything, the South Beach Diet, the Mediterranean Diet, the "Maker's" Diet, Deal-A-Meal, Weight Watchers, First Place, Dr. Phil's Ultimate Weight Solution, Optifast, Optavia, NutriSystem, Jenny Craig, the Blood Type Diet, the Daniel Plan, the Weigh Down Diet, the pink salt "trick"...etc. etc. etc.  It's enough misinformation and conflicting information to make a grown man gag. 

Whatever happened to a balanced diet and common sense? And why do all these "habits" and "trends" only work if they come with a high price tag?  Don't talk to me about "food deserts" when there's a local Wal-Mart full of fresh, reasonably-priced produce nearby.  If the information comes from YouTube, TikTok, or pretty much anyone except a reputable doctor or nutritionist (which are hard to find on any kind of media), it's all bougie nonsense. 

What's getting worse and worse as you get older? How about better and better?

You know what?  I've ranted enough today and want people to actually read this.  So, I'll skip the first part of the question and answer the second.  In general, the access to information is getting better.  Yes, to properly synthesize that information takes exercising critical thinking skills and not taking everything like banana pudding on a spoon, but with proper guidance we can access and assimilate more useful information.  There are also more opportunities for multiple income streams.  If a person can be paid thousands of dollars to live stream him/herself eating a bucket of KFC on the internet, there's hope for us all to increase our incomes.  And, no, I'm not eating on the internet.  I don't need the money that bad.

For me personally, I feel that my total health is getting better and better.  It's a slow process, but I'm further along in my health journey than I've ever been.  And yes, I do realize that many of my answers today may make you question that statement in relation to my mental health.

Are you more of an indoor person or an outdoor person? Elaborate. 

It depends on the weather.  I thoroughly enjoy the outdoors, but because of work and/or weather, I spend more time inside that I'd like.  I haven't yet figured out how to get around those constraints.

If you had an expert personal assistant today, what would you have them do? 

Drive.  As I said in my Hodgepodge post "...And Cake":

Y'all know my utter terror and disdain for the interstate, plus my discomfort with nighttime driving.  I miss out on a lot of things (concerts, ball games, church events, etc.) because of it.  If I had a [personal assistant to drive], I could go anywhere I wanted anytime I wanted.  Yes, there are more transportation alternatives here than were in Alabama.  However, at night, all of them are dangerous at worst and creepy at best, not to mention expensive.  I have a friend at church who drives for a ride share service, but the company doesn't allow the customer to pick a particular driver.  No, thank you.  I want someone trustworthy. 

Insert your own random thought here. 

 

In case you missed it:  

• My previous Hodgepodge post "Ice Cream Tips" is here.
• My latest Weekly Digest "Tis or Taint" is here.
  
• My latest First Line Friday post: #37:  James by Percival Everett is here. 
• Please see my "first words" and "last words" on The Great Gatsby here.  
• My "25 for 2025" challenge is here.  (Updated regularly)
• My "2025 I Can Only Blame MyShelf Reading Challenge" is here. (Updated regularly)

Five Minute Friday: "Respite."

Can I just have a day?  

Can I just have 24 hours of respite that I don't have to justify?  Just because I don't have a husband, kids, and/or big house to tend doesn't mean that I don't get tired.  My job doesn't involve much physical labor, but many of you know that brain work can stress and tire the body as much as (if not more than) labor intensive tasks.  

Don't get me wrong, I enjoy my job, but I need a break...a real respite.  Sure, I've had some days off, but they were not the rest I needed.  

Can I have a morning where I don't wake up tired after a good night's sleep and feel like I have to get up so early out of guilt because I didn't get it all done yesterday and have more to do today?  Can I have a day where all the electronics are off, my pajamas are on, my Fitbit is not on my wrist demanding that I get up and walk, I'm on the couch with my coffee or tea, a real book, and a notebook and pen?  Can I have 24 hours without a headache, eyestrain, and a twitching thumb from typing and clicking a mouse all day?  Can I have 1,440 seconds of not feeling lazy because I use my dishwasher, not feeling good enough no matter how much weight I lose or how much I accomplish, and not feeling like I need to punish myself if I don't do something right?

Even if all who read say no, even if all who read say I haven't earned the right to what I want, and even if all who read mistake my need of a respite for losing my hustle, I'm giving myself that 24 hours, and I'm giving it more than once!

-----------------------------

In case you missed it:  

* My latest First Line Friday Post: "#18:  The Autobiography of Benjamin Franklin" is here.
* My latest Wednesday Hodgepodge post, "Happy Little Concussions," is here.
* My latest book review of The Invisible Leader is here.
* My "24 in 2024" post is here.
* My 2024 reading challenge:  "Full Shelf Challenge V.2" is here.
* My final Simple Woman's Daybook "Day 40:  The End is Just the Beginning?" is here.
* My latest Monday Mess Making post on my Auntie's Workshop blog "Scraps and Tools" is here.

Day 11: Tidings of Comfort and...do what now?! [40 Days of Gratitude 2023]

Today, I'm grateful for:

Being mad about the right things.  Just a confession up front, my sister Clara and I have some weird conversations--and we know it.  #SisterGoals  The beginning of today's conversation revolved around the fact that I'd run out of grits, the surprise that I could even buy grits in Colorado, and the different ways that we prepare and garnish our grits so that they taste like something other than paste. [Side note: if anyone ever tries to offer you plain and/or instant grits, run!  They are either a Yankee who doesn't know how to make grits, or they are an assassin who's trying to kill you.  What did you do?]  This led us both to wonder if they still made Cream of Wheat (which is nothing like grits).  Neither of us like this "food," so I have no idea why we cared.  I did a web search and not only found out the product still exists, but that they have also joined the ranks of other "woke" companies by removing the famous black chef character from their packaging. 

What the crap?

Ok, when the football team formerly known as the Washington Redskins changed their name, I thought it was stupid.  When Major League Baseball's Cleveland Indians rebranded themselves as the Cleveland Guardians, I thought it was asinine.  As one comedian put it, "Guardians is a stupid name.  It's just a guy you tell 'You're not my real dad!'"  When companies like Land-O-Lakes, Aunt Jemima, and Uncle Ben's Rice decided to prove their love of diversity by removing all the people of color from their packaging, I was incensed.  Is anyone truly offended by this, or is this someone being offended "for" someone because they believe he or she needs an ally, a voice for the voiceless?  That sounds all well and good until you realize that those "voiceless" souls can speak for themselves and never asked for a 3rd party mouthpiece.

Five Minute Friday: "Pressure"

Proverbs 11:16 (ESV) - A gracious woman gets honor...

At least she SHOULD. 

I know that Mother's Day is a month away, but it's been on my mind for the past few days.  This will be our first one without mama.  One joy to which I look forward is that commencement is the same weekend.  My other joy is that on Sunday my Pastor will not be preaching a Mother's Day sermon.

The near decade that mama and I served together at Faith Temple were the best years of our mother-daughter relationship.  They were also the years that I felt less pressure on Mother's Day (I didn't say none, just less).  I could simply say "This is your day, mom.  Have at it." 

What was the first seminary that taught the pastoral formula for preaching Mother's Day sermons?  The formula goes like this:  Expound on a famous mama from the Bible--the top three are the Virgin Mary, Hannah the mother of Samuel, and Jochebed the mother of Moses. Now, pull out Proverbs 31 (always!) and use those wonderful feminine attributes to 1) commend the godly mother you chose from Scripture, 2) commend all the mothers in the church as being the finest things since sliced bread, and 3) hold this standard up to single women and married women with no children, and ask them what's wrong with them that they can't live up to this high standard of womanhood.  Be sure to ignore other passages that empower and commend all godly women regardless of marital and procreation status.  In the closing prayer, be sure to use beautiful flowery spiritual language to pray God's blessing over the moms, but ask the Almighty to fix these "wrong" women who are "desperate to become wives and/or mothers" (even if they are not--we're not BTW).  

Talk about pressure, embarrassment, and pain.

I've endured nearly 30 years of these sermons and thankfully, my Pastor at Colorado Community Church has bucked the trend.  Yes, the church acknowledges and honors the moms on Mother's day; and rightfully so. However, they don't do it in a way that degrades and alienates women who are trying to follow God, rather than peer pressure, in their choices about marriage and family.  Remember, NO IS A CHOICE.

I honestly wish I could send Pastor Gelinas a Mother's Day card thanking him and the leadership of the church for seeing the importance of all the members of the church, being sensitive to the pain of others, and following God, rather than ministerial peer pressure in the sermons he presents.

I know, it's too weird, but I wish I could.

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In case you missed it:  

* My last Five Minute Friday post "Savor" is here.
* Last week's Hodgepodge post, "Hoping for a Patio" is here.
* My latest Simple Woman's Daybook post "What Season is it?" is here.
* My latest Auntie's Workshop post "Finishing and Fixing I" is here.

Pressure Cooker The Weekly Hodgepodge

Join the fun! 

Come on over to 

From This Side of the Pond 

for the Hodgepodge link-up!

Do you think the pandemic has had any kind of positive impact on your mental health? Explain.

Absolutely not.  This pandemic has taken everything that was healthy for my psyche like face to face interaction and physical touch and crapped all over it.  Sure, I've saved some money by not leaving the house every day, but has it been worth the isolation, loneliness, and depression?  Hardly.

WARNING:  Rant coming. 

I know most of you reading this will not understand.  Most of my friends and acquaintances don't understand. In fact, some have been rather cruel and condescending to me over it (Ever have someone roll their eyes at your prayer request?  Yeah, it happened). They consider it some glorious opportunity for reconnection with their families, or worse yet, deemed this an introvert's paradise where they finally don't have to deal with people, while forgetting that they have built in community at home (spouses, roommates, children, parents, etc.) and are not truly alone.  I've tried to remind them that solitary confinement is considered a punishment!

One, I think it's wonderful that families are reconnecting and spending more constructive quality time together and growing in love and grace with each other.  I'm all for that.  It is a shame that it took a pandemic to do it, but it is what it is.  Two, I'm an ambivert, which means I have a balance of introvert and extrovert tendencies--I get energy from being around people, but also get energy from alone time.  Throw one of those out of balance and all my energy is drained.  Too much people time is overwhelming to my psyche, but too much alone time has the same effect.  Even true introverts aren't emotionally healthy if they avoid people altogether for extended periods of time.  God built the human being for community--some of us like it in large doses, some in small doses, but a dose is necessary.

I relish the day when this is over!

A hot mess, hot under the collar, in hot water, hot button, hot diggity dog!, hot shot, hot seat....choose one and tell us how it applies to your life currently.

A hot mess, but in a good way.  As I mentioned a few posts ago, my creative fires have been rekindled.  We all know that the creation of art is always somewhat messy.   I'm trying to improve my organization, but it hasn't been easy.  Wal-Mart is doing their "let's discontinue everything people like" thing again and I can't find anything I want.

Speaking of the hot seat, do you work well under pressure or do you actively avoid high pressure situations?

It depends on the source of the pressure.  I do put undue pressure on myself in some situations, but I work well with it.  If it's pressure from someone else or is caused by unforeseen negative circumstances, I don't handle it well.

 Sorry, not sorry.  😊

Hotdogs-yay or nay? If you said yay how do you like yours? Did you know July is National hotdog month?

Yes, I enjoy hotdogs.  I like them with mustard, onions, and relish, or with slaw and barbecue sauce.  I enjoy them grilled, boiled, or fried (I don't have a grill or a grill pan).   Hmm, July is National hot dog month?  I may have to make me a slaw dog or two before the month is over.

I read here a list of America's coolest Southern towns. They are Marfa Texas, Greenville South Carolina, Abindgon Virginia, Athens Georgia, Bentonville Arkansas, Florence Alabama, Oxford Mississippi, Abita Springs Louisiana, Wilmington North Carolina, Monroeville Alabama, McMinnville Tennessee, Natchez Mississippi.  How many on the list have you seen in person? Which town on the list would you most like to see?

Wait, this list didn't include Jacksonville, Alabama or Buies Creek, North Carolina.  Bogus! Well, at least there weren't any Florida towns listed because we all know the Florida isn't really a southern state.

I'm still not sorry.  😈

Anyway,

I've not been to any of those towns (no, not even the Alabama ones).  Honestly, these don't appeal to me.  Some of the Southern towns I'd like to visit are Gulf Shores, Alabama for the beach of course, Gee's Bend, Alabama to meet the famous quilters, Gatlinburg, Tennessee for the art shops, and Fort Worth, Texas to attend a big Bible conference they have there every summer.

Insert your own random thought here. 

Saw this shirt at Wal-Mart...

In case you're interested:

* My latest 2020 It's the Hardback Life book review is here. It's an older review, but I read the book again this week.
* My latest Five Minute Friday post is here.
* My latest Simple Woman's Daybook is here.
* My latest Auntie's Workshop post is here.
* My Auntie's Workshop summer card collection is here.  Note:  I am now accepting PayPal.  Contact me for details. I'm working on my fall collection, so STAY TUNED.

Take it Like a Man: The Wednesday Medley



Thanks to Terri from
Your Friend From Florida
for the Medley questions.

Wednesday, January 16th, is National Do Nothing Day!! National Nothing Day was proposed in 1972 by columnist Harold Pullman Coffin. This day has been observed annually since 1973. Of course, the way to celebrate it is to do nothing!

To commemorate Do Nothing Day in SOME way, tell us something about your life (or the life of someone close to you) in 1973!!

There's not much to tell.  In 1973, I was a year old.  Our family was living in Wellington, Alabama in a little 4 room shack (not 4 bedroom, 4 room) with a well and an outhouse.  We were Little House on the Prairie.

Now that we are thinking back, please tell us what your favorite pastime was as a child.

My two favorite pastimes as a child were riding my bike and roller skating.  As an adult, I still ride, but I haven't found a suitable pair of roller skates.  If I ever find one, I'd love to try skating again.

What is the best way to cheer you up on a bad day?

Is the question how can someone else cheer me up or how can I cheer myself up on a bad day?  Just the simple act of someone showing true caring and spending authentic quality time with me cheers me up.  I cheer myself up with music, taking a walk, watching a cheerful/funny video, reading from a favorite book, making someone else laugh, or taking a nap.

How old were you when you first started dating? Do you remember your first date?

I've never been on a real date. 

Today is also National Fig Newton day. Do you like figs/Fig Newtons?

I like figs, but I'm not that crazy about Fig Newtons.

Tell us something random about your week.

Recently, the Gillette company released a new commercial on the dangers of "toxic masculinity."  I'm sure many of you have heard about it, so I'll not go into too much detail about the commercial here, but I will submit a few points to ponder (rants).

• First, what is their motive?  Do they really care, or are they pushing a social hot button as a marketing ploy to sell more razors?  Hey, I'm not saying that the attempted message wasn't a needed one, but do we really need to hear this from a razor company?
• Second, masculinity is not toxic, displaying injurious behavior regardless of gender IS toxic.  In other words, many of the rude behaviors displayed in the commercial are also perpetrated by females.  I hate to bust your bubble, but women also bully, fight, and sexually harass others.  These are not relegated to just males. 
• If Gillette is going to continue the trend, I hope they next tackle "toxic femininity."  You know, where women bully other women and impose ridiculous unattainable standards over stupid crap like weight, race, marital status, socioeconomic status, etc, and encourage their daughters to do the same.  I hope they let women know that they need to be accountable to each other when they observe someone emasculating her husband, boyfriend, or son in an attempt to prove herself strong and superior.  They need to stress that there is such thing as "woman-splaining" and that it is definitely not cool.  Hey, I watch wives do it to their husbands all the time.

My frustration is not so much vented at the commercial as it is the angst--rather than thought and honest discussion-- it has stirred.  I'm so tired of anyone, be it a company, a religious organization, political organization, or a media outlet who pushes for division, strife, and separatism.  I feel so sorry for men, especially Caucasian men.  Modern American society has made them the enemy when they are not (and don't be a Southern white male--Lord, have mercy).   Ignorance and hatred are the real enemy.  Why don't we try fighting that instead of each other?

Rant over.  Now, I need a laugh!

This masculinity definitely ain't toxic!

Horse Apples: The Weekly Hodgepodge



Join the fun! 

Come on over to 

From This Side of the Pond 

for the Hodgepodge link-up!

May 17th is National Pack Rat Day. Sidebar-should we be celebrating this? Hmmm...Are you a pack rat? Even if you're not a full fledged pack rat, most people have one thing or another they struggle to part with. Tell us what's yours.

I used to be, but not now.  The problem I have now is...how do I put this tactfully...I tend to be a collector of stuff other people don't want.  However, I've learned to pass on anything I don't want or can't use.


What are two things you know you should know how to do, but you don't?

Drive on the interstate and change a tire.  I've seen them both done, but have never successfully done either one.

Do you crave sugar? Do you add sugar to your coffee and/or tea? Do you use artificial sweeteners or sugar substitutes? When dining out is dessert a given? Are you someone who has slain the sugar dragon, and if so tell us how you did it.

Sugar is my frenemy.  It's horrible for me, but I do crave it.  My sugar usage has (thankfully) diminished greatly over the years.  I used to drink sugar sweetened soft drinks like water and so much sugar to my tea and coffee that you could pour it over your pancakes.  Not to mention all the sugar laden foods I used to stuff my face with.  Now, I only drink a soft drink when my tummy is upset.  I do consume unsweetened tea (I know my fellow Southerners are weeping in their hankies right now) and coffee with half and half (I'll only drink it black if there's a famine).  I found that with soft drinks, it's not the sugar I really want; it's the bubbles.  I drink flavored sparkling water instead and am completely satisfied.  As far as artificial sweeteners go, I can't tolerate any of them.  Saccharin tastes horrid (plus it kills lab rats), I'm allergic to Aspartame (plus chewing a beer can would taste better), and Splenda (sucralose, sorbitol, sugar alcohol, etc) chains me to the potty, so, no thank you.  I haven't totally conquered sugar, but I attempt to make any indulgence worth it.  In other words, if I want it badly enough, I don't want to waste it on things that taste mediocre.  I'd rather have something rich and creamy like ice cream or good cheesecake than to waste the craving on candy or snack cakes.

Y'all are making me hungry.

What's a trend it took a while for you to come round to, but now you can't imagine living without?

Smart phones.  If not for my niece insisting on (and paying for) a phone for me, I'd still be completely satisfied with using my flip phone--what I call my "Verizon ghetto phone."  My attitude was...well, and still is...what do I want a smart phone for when I have a computer that does all that?  I just need something that makes phone calls.  I'm not engrossed in my phone, but the extra features have definitely come in handy.  I've looked up recipes while grocery shopping.  I've run scripture references while at church or Bible study.  I've use a fitness app to track my mileage.  I use it listen to music and read.  Good thing since if I'm at home, I can't make a phone call with it!  Thanks, T-Mobile!

What's a song that reminds you of a specific incident in your life? Please elaborate.

The Horse by Cliff Nobles.  I know, I know, it looks like I'm cheating on the question because this is my high school's fight song.  BUT it does remind me of a specific incident.  During homecoming week of my senior year of high school, the marching band was given permission to go to the bottom floor of each building and play the fight song.  We enjoyed it, the student enjoyed it.  The teachers?  Well, some enjoyed it while some were scared peeless by the sudden rush of loud music.  One teacher in particular, who will remain nameless because she might read my blog, was very distraught and thought the repeated opening and slamming of her classroom door would drown us out or make us go away.

It didn't.

Go Eagles!

Insert your own random thought here.

WARNING:  This is going to take a hot minute, so you might want to take a pee break before proceeding.

Mrs. Joyce asked about trends.  One that I'm glad to see is the Little Free Library (LFL).  In case you're not familiar with LFLs, they are creative boxes placed in both private and public spaces for the purpose of sharing books.  Individuals may choose a book and either bring it back after reading it, or swap it for another.  We have several in our area, and they're great.  Quite frankly, I've not met anyone who didn't like them.

Until now.

In a blog post/article here, "researchers" from Toronto have slammed these little gems as "an example of 'neoliberal politics at street level', rather than a charming component of the sharing movement."

What the Sam Hill does that even mean?

Little Free Library in
Weaver, Alabama
It's now full of books provided
by the community.

In this piece of horse manure overarching tripe, these dipsticks poor uninformed souls make a lot of ASSumptions I'd like to address:

• The concept was developed in the United States and they are from Canada.  I think they're just jealous that they didn't think of the idea themselves.  One of the "researchers" is a librarian--so the piece is already a bit suspect.
• They assume that to have the LFL, a person must purchase the building kits and pay to use the name.  Yes, Little Free Library is a copyrighted name, however, a person doesn't have to pay for a charter or even use the name to have their own.  Also, the building kits are not a mandate.  If you go on the company's Facebook page, you'll enjoy many creative LFTs that are cleverly homemade.  Besides, what's really wrong with spending a couple hundred bucks for a charter and building kit if you want one?  Then the authors go into some nonsense about the "corporatization of a grassroots phenomenon."  So?!  Do they honestly expect for the organization to provide everything for free?  Oh wait, they're from Canada where the government supoosedly provides things for "free," so yes, they do.  Guys, this isn't a government organization; they are staffed by volunteers and can't just give away what they don't have.  Building materials, shipping, and maintaining and promoting the organization costs money.  Logic, Spock, logic!
• They assume that LFLs are only placed by the rich in upper class, predominantly white neighborhoods where books are plentiful.  If you read the article, you'll notice that they only looked at Toronto and Calgary and nowhere in the United States.  I'm not a researcher, but I know locations.  The LFLs I've seen are in public spaces used by every demographic and sponsored by non-profit organizations like the United Way.  One in particular is right in front of my workplace.  I've seen well-to-do families of all races add and remove books.  I've witnessed impoverished families of varying ethnicities excited about the children getting to read books they've not seen before.  I've even seen those who are homeless choose a book and find comfort in it.  This isn't a rich vs. poor thing.  This is sharing the love of reading and the commonality of the power of reading.
• They imply that LFLs have the potential harm public libraries.  How?  Name me one public library that has every book ever published?  To me, this is an extension of the public library.  Plus, (and this is the only political sentence I'm writing), in the US, our government is threatening to cut funding to public libraries (a huge mistake if they do).  For the love of Mike, we need something to keep people reading!
• Most importantly, they offer no alternative solution.  Yeah, that helps a lot, thanks.  By the way, I wonder how many books they donate to the poor?  Hmmm...just a thought.

My conclusion?  These people would complain about anything and turn it into a socioeconomic war just to keep strife and division active because they don't have anything better to do.  Their whole argument is pointless, not to mention tacky.

Hey, they could have been reading instead of writing this mess.

Why the rant?  If you've read my blog for any amount of time, you know I love to read.  That wasn't always the case.  When I was younger, my eyesight was a lot worse and reading was physically painful.  As a child, audio books provided by a library service for the visually impaired were a great help to keep me interested in reading.  As an adult, both reading and listening to books is still quite enjoyable.  I know the power of both the spoken and written word and I'm very passionate about encouraging others to maintain and extend their education.  I taught preschool for many years and in my present job observe many children go through the YMCA's afterschool and summer programs;  I know how much influence good books possess.  However, teachers and librarians can only do so much.  Parents need to instill a love of reading in their children, as well as in themselves.  I know for a fact that many children, despite programs like Success by Six and Dolly Parton's Imagination Library (I wonder what croakings of doom they would have about this one), many parents still don't see the value of reading to their children and too many adults stop reading after leaving an academic environment that requires it.  From what I can see, this program bridges some of that gap.  Please don't let propaganda like this turn it into yet another political division point...or a reason to stay ignorant.

Please!

Would it be mean if I said these Canucks need to stick with hockey and leave the rest of us alone?

OK, rant over, I'm going to go enjoy a book now.  See y'all next time.

Loving to Hate Running [Thursday Thirteen]

I started running three years ago.  Fortunately for me, the sweet lady who coached me through the "Couch to 5k program" was very patient and encouraging, and my first race experience was a positive one.  Unfortunately, not everyone's experience brings them joy.

I've been in a Twitter discussion with some fellow RunKeeper App users.  The question was asked "What do you think would make people hate running?"  Overwhelmingly, the top answer was "PE teachers in school."  Last year, I did another post on that very subject.  I'll not belabor the point; you can read the post here.  However, in my experience with running, running clubs, participating in races, and talking to others have shown a rather disturbing trend. 

If you want your friends to learn to love running, get together with you at a local 5k, or join your fabulous running group DON'T do these 13 things:

1. Don't equate running with punishment.  Just because Coach DA used running as punishment doesn't mean we have to keep doing that to ourselves.  Running isn't easy, but it can be fun.
2. Don't make running a mutually exclusive elitist sport.  NEWSFLASH!  Every runner is NOT a string bean with 6% body fat who eats nothing but kale and sadness.  Did you know the definition of a runner?  Any person who runs!  Size, color, age, gender, speed...none of those things matter in the definition.  Things like cropping larger runners out of photos and making the running categories for large runners start at 5lbs heaver than the fastest runner you know doesn't really encourage someone with a few extra groceries on them to feel welcome.  No, I'm not talking about coddling, just a little common sense and common courtesy.
3. Don't start out doing too much too fast, or trying to push someone to do the same.  You are NOT Jillian Michaels, so cut it out!
4. Don't declare "all paces welcome" at a gathering when they aren't.  
5. Don't bring dogs to a race/group run.  The only exception is a harnessed LEGITIMATE service dog.  Look, I like dogs, however, everyone doesn't.  In fact, some people have a great fear of dogs.  Also, NOBODY wants to be bitten, lunged at, growled at, or have to encounter a hot steaming pile of poo that you didn't clean up. 
6. Do not apologize for slower runners.  Yes, this actually happened at a race last year.  I was in the back with a 66 year old woman who said she was attempting her very first 5k race.  We were in the home stretch when we heard the PA Announcer say, "We apologize for the delay in starting [our kids race]...It's a little bit of a good thing/bad thing to have so many people here..."  The lady said, "maybe I should quit and get out of the way so they can get started."  Her friend and I talked her out of it.  Hey, she paid her money like everyone else and deserves the same treatment as someone who finished in less than 20 minutes.  Plus, it wasn't like she was taking 90 minutes to finish a 5k; she finished in a little over an hour.  At a race this year, I had a sweeper keep apologizing to the people helping with the race because they had to wait on me to finish (I was last).  That is NOT helping.
7. Do not apologize for being a slower runner.  There are two instances when you shouldn't apologize for being slow; one, when you are slow, and two, when you are not slow.  Apologizing when you are slow is an insult to yourself.  Apologizing when you are not slow is an insult to everyone else.  Besides, what is slow anyway?  For me, slow is finishing a 5k race in over an hour.  For others, slow is not finishing one within 30 minutes.  No, I'm not going to throw out worn out cliché's like "slow and steady wins the race."  It sounds like sage advice, when in reality, it's a load of bull.
8. Do not take up water stops before everyone goes through.  had it happen at gatherings and races.  It's not cool, plus, as the weather heats up, it is also dangerous.
9. Do not make snarky comments about other runners.  I have to watch myself on this one.  Usually, I have to stop myself from making snarky comments about others who make nasty comments about their fellow runners.   Dr. Phillip C. McGraw once said, "My dad had taught me there are times in life when you just don't want to miss a good chance to shut up."  He's right.
10. Do not take up time cards and start award ceremonies before everyone finishes a race.  I can tell when an award ceremony at a race is going to get screwed up when they do this. 
11. Do not make running too difficult or techie.  Now, I admit to being a number nerd when it comes to running/walking.  I've got my Runkeeper app on my phone, my Garmin GPS watch (when Runkeeper is on the fritz), my Fitbit and my stopwatch when GPS doesn't work, and my lap counter when I'm using a track.  I'm well aware that everyone doesn't need or want all that and they don't care about mileage and time.  They just want to run and enjoy.  Give them the space to do that.
12. Don't lie; Do encourage.  There is a difference...and we know it.
13. Don't make everything a competition.  Bro, it's a fun run, not the Boston Marathon.

Five Minute Friday: "Gather"

Our Mistress of Ceremonies for the Five Minute Friday is Kate over at Heading Home.  Hope you link up with us and join the fun.

 

 

GO!

 

Shall we gather at the river,
Where bright angel feet have trod,
With its crystal tide forever
Flowing by the throne of God?

 

-Lyrics by Robert Lowry

 

WARNING:  This may take longer than five minutes...

 

Lately the Lord has put me in the path of several of my Christian brothers and sisters who have given up gathering in fellowship with family of God.  It wasn't my place to ask why, though a few gave reasons unprompted.  Whether it be from pain or disinterest, knowing they are going it alone hurts me.  I've been praying for reconciliation and healing for them.

 

Hey, I've been there a couple of times.  I know how easy it is to get hurt and offended.  Church would be perfect if it didn't have people involved.  It would also be very lonely and boring.

 

I gave up the gathering during my years of undergraduate school.  I could lie and say I was too busy with school to attend, but the truth was that I didn't go because I had my knickers in a knot.  Those were some of the darkest, loneliest, and most painful times of my life.  Those were the times when suicide wasn't a mere passing thought, but a call to action that failed each time.  So I simply took to slowly trying to eat myself to death...

 

STOP!

 

I warned you...

 

Several years ago, I had to make a very painful Church transition.  It would have been easy to stay home, eat popcorn and watch Whose Line is it Anyway on the 'net, but that wasn't the answer to the pain I was enduring.

 

Neither I, nor the Bible is saying that one can't go to heaven if he doesn't go to church.  However, it's very hard to enjoy the trip alone. 

 

So let’s do it—full of belief, confident that we’re presentable inside and out. Let’s keep a firm grip on the promises that keep us going. He always keeps his word. Let’s see how inventive we can be in encouraging love and helping out, not avoiding worshiping together as some do but spurring each other on, especially as we see the big Day approaching.

 

Hebrews 10:24-25, The Message

 

As I said, I've been there.  People hurt each other, whether intentional or accidental.  However, we who are followers of Christ are a family.  Every family tree has its nuts and squirrels and every sheepfold has to fight off wolves.

 

OK, enough generalities; let Auntie give you some advice:

• If you don't gather because of offense or hurt:  First, pray for the offender.  Second, if the hurt is so grievous that you can't yet be in the presence of the offender, gather at an alternate meeting.  Why?  It's much easier to make staying away a habit than regularly attending.  It's easier to keep a fire going than to start a new one from scratch.  Third, seek godly counsel from someone not involved in your hurt. That way, you won't be "gathering to yourself teachers, having itching ears"(II Timothy 4:3).  In other words, don't get advice from someone who's going to simply tell you want you want to hear.  Good counsel can help you sort through whether the hurt was intentional or not.  Praying helps you make godly decisions based on the truth of God's Word, rather than our own pain.
• If you don't gather because of sin, strife, or corruption in leadership:  First, pray; always pray.  Second, wipe the dust from your feet and move on.  Don't "cast your pearls before swine" (Matthew 7:6) and don't "give offerings to the dead" Deuteronomy 26:14.  There are so many more good gathering places than bad ones.
• If it's simply a matter of personal preference, as in "they ain't runnin' this place to suit me:"  Put on your big boy/big girl panties and suck it up.  I've had this conversation with many people over the years and I've had to have this argument with myself a few times.  My answer is always the same:  First, why are you bringing this to me?  I don't have any pull or say so in anything and I don't really want to hear it.  Second, if you don't have the balls to go to the person you're mad with, reconciliation is not what you want;  division and keeping strife stirred up is all you want.  Therefore, you are the problem.  Proverbs 6:16,19 - "These six things doth the Lord hate: yea, seven are an abomination unto him...he that soweth discord among brethren."

No, this stuff isn't easy, otherwise everyone would be doing it and churches and Bible studies would be full.  Take it from someone who's been there, it's worth it.  A word of caution:  There's no such thing as the perfect gathering this side of heaven, so please don't hunt for it.  You won't find it.  Auntie's not getting on to you;  I miss you.

 

 

Now the Lord is that Spirit: and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty.

 

II Corinthians 3:17 (King James Version)

Done! [Auntie's Rants]

I got on my scale today and it said 235.  I've gained and lost the same 5 pounds for probably a month now.  I've binged and starved, and binged and worked out until I can barely stand.  I've cried and prayed alone, but otherwise kept silent for my friends' benefit.

Y'all, I'm tired.  Very tired.  And I'm DONE:

I'm done with exercising out of fear instead of enjoyment.  I like working out, but not when I'm doing it to try to burn off a binge to alleviate guilt.

I'm done with food ruling my life.  I can't remember the last time I enjoyed eating anything.  Healthy food is wonderful and I will continue to eat it, but food eaten in stress and guilt has no flavor, not matter what it is.  I'm done with feeling guilty about wanting to eat out while being jealous of those who do.  I'm done with trying to count calories, fat grams and sugar.  All this counting has only made me obsess over food.  I'm always eating too much of one thing and too little of something else.  In my quest to "leave calories on the table," I left myself undernourished and hungry as hell.  I want to enjoy food; not worship it.

I'm done with feeling guilty no matter how little or how much I eat, especially at church and recovery meetings.  My mantra of "other addicts don't get to treat themselves with their drug of choice, so why should I" is not working.  What's "bad" food for one person isn't necessarily a problem for someone else.  I'm so freakin' afraid to eat anything for fear that my choices will send someone else into relapse.  Not to be ugly (or TO be ugly) if an addict wants to use my eating a cookie as an excuse for him to smoke dope, that's his problem, not mine.  I'm done with being out of balance.

I'm done with the feelings in my head and heart.

I'm done with the constant seething with anger because I can't get things right.

I'm done with feeling stuck and hopeless.

I'm done with wanting to disappear and die all the time.

I'm done with crying myself to sleep every night.

I'm done with people seeing pain and defeat in my eyes more than they see hope.

I'm done with sitting at home afraid to go out and do anything.

I'm done with not wearing makeup or pampering myself because I'm waiting to at my goal weight so it will "look right" to do it.

I'm done with waiting on other people to decide if I'm worth it.  I AM WORTH IT!  If you don't think I am, unfriend me, unfollow me, quit reading my blog, quit smiling in my face at church or CR and MOVE ON.  I'm too old for this crap.

I'm done with people telling me that I'm not a good Christian because I make no bones about not being perfect.  Hey, before you work on my "splinter," you might want to see to your "plank."  Aiyit then.

I'm done with my gender and marital status defining my worth and/or spirituality in other people's eyes.  It's been going on so long that I'm starting to believe it.  Oh, honey bunches of NO!  I'm not "still" a single female because I don't read the Bible and pray for the "gift" of marriage enough. ("Just trust Him and believe.  He'll send you that gift."); I'm single because when I asked God about being a wife and mother, He said "no."  All the promises of God are "yes and amen," but there is no promise in the Bible of marriage for every woman.  Jesus did not die on the cross for me to be someone else's bride; He died to make me His bride.  I want to focus on that.

Danny Cahill asked the Meltdown Challenge group what we hoped to gain from our health journeys.  I simply said "equality."  I have to be done with that concept as well.  The equality I saw was everyone else's idea of equality where I start at the bottom (unequal) and work my way up to equal with everyone.  No, in God's eyes I am equal.  If a person sees me as unequal to them, it's HER problem, not mine.

I'm done with "enough."  Who the Sam Hill determines what "enough" is?:  Good enough, strong enough, spiritual enough, fit enough, beautiful enough, smart enough, blah, blah, blah.  I've heard ENOUGH.  My best is good enough.  If it isn't then...well, whose problem is that?

I'm done with having no joy or happiness.

I'm done with other people getting a pass in life, while I'm told to suck it up and take any abuse that's dished out to me.

I'm done with being told how I should feel or even if I should feel.  Hey, if my feelings bother you, there's the door.

Dear Life, You suck, I hate you, and I'm done with you.  I'm going to look for a new one--the one God has for me.

Love, Auntie

Meanie Beanie: The Simple Woman's Daybook

If you would like to join in and post your own Daybook, please head on over to visit Peggy at The Simple Woman's Daybook

For Today:  Sunday, September 28, 2014

Outside my window … Cloudy skies that are drawing me towards a Sunday afternoon nap.

I am thinking... about taking a nap.  No, I'm thinking about doing another 30 day blog/photo challenge soon.  I think it would help me get through the winter months.  I think it will be fun to hunt for beauty during the ugliest months of the year.

I am thankful... for a great worship service this morning.  I missed early service again, [tsk tsk tsk] but second service was wonderful.
 

In the kitchen...  Grabbed quick snacky things for lunch.  Not sure what I'm doing for dinner.  I've got to get a better plan. 

I am wearing... tank top and shorts, aka, summer pajamas.

I am creating... Finished up the baby set.  Now, I'm working on more orders in the Workshop and getting ready for the Christmas sale at the First United Methodist Church in November.

I am going...  to take a nap.  I've got worship team practice this afternoon.  A friend of mine and I are going walking on the Ladiga Trail if it doesn't rain.

 

I am wondering... why I'm in need of another nap  I took one yesterday.  I was really hoping to come home and get some work done, but a sleepy artist is a sucky artist. 

OK, so I took a nap...
 

I am reading...  Finished  The Diva Principle by Michelle McKinney Hammond. The review is here.  I'm still reading White Chocolate Moments by Lori Wick and restarted God is Not Mad at You by Joyce Meyer.

I am hoping... for a good productive week.  I'm hoping for more orders as I complete the ones I'm working on.

I am looking forward to... the Christmas sale, the Kyle Comfort 5k, possibly helping with the church's fall festival, and Jacksonville Christian Academy's homecoming.  My grandniece, Madison, is a Thunderette.  I have got to see this. 
 
I am learning… that "no" is a complete sentence and if anyone can't accept that as a sentence, they have the problem, not me.

Around the house... I need to take a day to get some neglected chores done.  Hopefully, I get to do that Wednesday.

 

I am pondering...  over an article shared by a friend on social media this week.  It's about the "new phenomenon" of mean girls.   

WARNING:  Rant coming.

Since when are mean girls a new phenomenon?  There is nothing new about girls bullying each other with words, actions, snubs, or fists.  Yes, with the onslaught of social media and limp-wristed parents who won't take little darling's phone or computer and smash it with a hammer when they act like this, there are more outlets for meanness, more bullies who feel perfectly justified in acting like morons, and  more bullied girls who feel powerless and depressed.  But meanness it's not new.  Trust me.

I think the supposed newness is because of who is now being targeted.  When I was in school in the 70's and 80's, unattractive, poor, or overweight girls were the victims (try being all three).  Now, the beautiful, well-to-do girls are victimized, and all of a sudden, the dookie hits the fan.  It was just fine for the fat, ugly girl to be teased and shunned.  After all, she IS fat and ugly; she asked for it.  But now girls are being called fat and ugly who are anything but, so it's time to DO something.  We've got to better train our daughters.  We can't have this happening on our watch.  We've got storm the gates, leap over the walls...blah, blah, blah.

Where was all this uproar when I was in school?  Nowhere.  Not even at home.

As the years have gone on and I've reconnected with some of my classmates, I've realized a couple of things.  One, the girls who weren't mean to me in school felt they had to avoid me because they were scared to stand up to the mean, popular girls.  Trust me, I don't fault them, I was not worth losing their status or friends for. Two, many of the mean chicks from back in the day are still mean and condescending now.  The girls who were mean in high school most likely have raised mean daughters, and dadgum proud of it.  It never bothers them until their daughters become victims of it.  Then they break out the torches and pitchforks.

Hey, here's a clue.  How about stopping it in your own home first?  How about stopping it on your newsfeed and twitter account?  How about stopping the hateful comments you make to your daughter about people you see out in public?  How about stopping the hateful comments you make about yourself in front of you daughters (and the ones you don't think she hears, but she does)?  If they don't grow up learning how to hate themselves, maybe they won't feel so justified in being hateful to others. And for the love of Mike, stop acting like this crap is new.  Just a thought.

OK, rant over (I think; there may be a new one later)...
 

A favorite quote for today... 

“All human work, however complicated or simple, is made possible by the operation of the Spirit of God in the working person; and all work whose nature and results reflect the values of the new creation is accomplished under the instruction and inspiration of the Spirit of God.” - Miroslav Volf

"I have a pretty high tolerance [for marijuana]: just slightly lower than Cheech and a little bit to the left of Snoop." - Greg Proops

(I am not advocating the use of marijuana, but you've got to admit, that's pretty funny right there...)

One of my favorite things... Marching bands.

A few plans for the rest of the week:   Not sure.  I'll be at Sav-a-Life tomorrow, but I'm not clear on the rest of the week.

A peek into my day...  Here's some of my finished projects:

 

Say What?!: Thursday Thirteen

No matter what our position in life, we've all had stupid things said to us.  Various situations prompt us to speak before we think--trust me, I've done it myself dozens of times.  However, it seems the most asinine comments come from people trying to "encourage" an overweight friend.

I know, I haven't done a Thursday thirteen in a while, but what follows is a list of 13 things you shouldn't say to an overweight friend -- especially one working on her health.  Yes, I've had these said to me, and yes, I've either thought or said the snarky comments afterwards.  I'm not telling you which ones I actually said.  :)

1. "You're beautiful inside and out." - This is such a backhanded compliment.  People have to add the "inside and out" because they can't simply say a big girl is beautiful.  Besides, how do you know what I look like on the inside?  Haven't you ever done dissection?  Yuck!
2. "You have such a pretty face." - Here's "inside and out's" sister compliment.  What they're thinking, but not saying is "...but you have such an ugly body."  With comments like this, sometimes you just have to smile and think, "Bless your heart.  I wouldn't pee in your ear if your brain was on fire."
3. "A food addict?  Come on, it's not as dramatic as all that.  You could just not eat that, then you wouldn't be a food addict.  Problem solved." - You could just shut up too, then you wouldn't be so stupid.  Problem solved.
4. "You don't need to eat that."  - **SLAP!!**  I'm sorry, what did you say?  You were minding your own business and staying out of my plate?  That's what I thought you said.
5. Please don't make Richard Simmons-esque comments when you see a larger person eat something you approve of. "Good for you for making such a healthy choice!  That's GREAT!" - Yeah, I can poo-poo in the potty all by myself too.  Go sit down somewhere!
6. "Running?  You?!" - I had a 13 year old say that to me two weeks ago.  Where is your mama?! I know it's against the law to beat other people's children, but... 
7. "Running's bad for your knees." - Kicking you in the butt is probably bad for my feet too, but I'm going to do it anyway if you don't hush.  By the way, I had more knee problems when I was heavier than I ever have since I started running.
8. "I'm worried about you and all this exercise." - But you didn't give a rats behind when I wasn't exercising.  Hello, the logic train has left the station.
9. "Slow and steady wins the race."  Since when? That logic doesn't work for NASCAR, and it ain't working for me either.  I'm slow and steady, and I ain't won nothin'!
10. "You are why our healthcare is so high." - You are why our test scores are so low!  Kiss my...never mind.
11. "Gastric Bypass surgery would be so much easier." - How is being gutted like a catfish easier?  This surgery doesn't have a very good track record and it is extremely dangerous.  Besides, didn't you just say I'm making your healthcare higher?
12. "That weight you gained was just muscle, water, mucus, or air from where you need to fart." - I'm fat, not stupid. 
13. "You wouldn't have __________  if you just lost weight." - Good grief, I've had everything from toenail fungus, to glaucoma, from dandruff to an oil leak in my car blamed on my weight.  This stuff makes my middle finger twitch.

Tears of a Clown

Last night's closing thoughts were on the apparent suicide of actor and comedian Robin Williams.  A favorite radio program awakened me with the same topic.  I am saddened by the loss, but I am more saddened by the treatment of the loss.

I expected the world to turn this human being into a mere abstraction--a plastic character on the screen who is simply no more.  However, I didn't expect the Christian community to do the same.  OK, deep down I expected it, but it was still stinky when it happened.  This man stepped into eternity  24 hours ago, and people who've never met Mr. Williams all of a sudden know everything about him, his situation, his spiritual condition, his everything.  My friend, Alexis, summed it up this way on her Facebook page:

Everyone keeps talking about the characters that Robin Williams played and how sad they are that we will never see his talent again in a new way. This is all well and good because he did influence and bring joy to so many people in this way, so please don't think that I am saying it is wrong to mourn the loss of a talent. But please remember that it is not a character who has passed away - it is a man who was struggling. Today I am not mourning the Genie or Mrs. Doubtfire or Professor Keating. Today I am mourning a human being who could not find a way to escape the pain he was feeling in this life. We will miss you, Mr. Williams, not just because you made us laugh but because your life was precious and had purpose and changed the world.

Unfortunately, some cannot separate the celebrity from the human, many more cannot differentiate between the celebrity and the human.  For example when Pastor Rick Warren's son Matthew committed suicide, the world's outcry was the need to stop stereotyping mental illness; the church's outcry was, "He was a Christian, he had no reason to commit suicide."  Now that Mr. Williams is gone, the world's outcry was the need to stop stereotyping mental illness; the church's outcry was "He was a rich celebrity, so he couldn't have been a Christian.  He had every reason to commit suicide."

We who claim the name of Christ can't seem to acknowledge that there is depression and/or mental illness in our ranks.  When it is present, the person's spirituality, faith, and even his salvation itself is called into question.  The "leper" in question is lumped together with "those" people--those with defects that need to be hidden from view because they make the church look bad.

In the early days of my walk with Christ, the thing to do was to hide anyone who was sick, disabled, or physically infirmed in any way and call their faith into question.  Now, we readily accept physical sickness to the point we roll over and accept it without putting up a fight.  Back then, we didn't even acknowledge there was such a thing as mental illness or depression; it was always a demon that simply needed to be cast out.  Nothing has changed much.

Am I saying that there isn't a spiritual component to depression?  Not at all.  If there weren't, the Psalmist never would have written "Why art thou cast down, O my soul? and why art thou disquieted in me? hope thou in God: for I shall yet praise him for the help of his countenance." (Psalm 42:5 KJV)  What I am saying is that just as we used modern medicine as an aid to physical healing, why is using the same thing to aid in mental healing so taboo? 

It gets worse.  This is where I have to dive into my own stuff.  I'm not speaking something I haven't experienced.

If you know me personally or you've read my blog for any stretch of time, you know that I have bouts with depression.  What I haven't spoken of much is that this is not a recent development.  I've dealt with depression for years.  It started as just a seasonal thing I dealt with in wintertime, but it quickly escalated into long bouts of absolute despair to the point of physical malaise.  For years I had been counseled by my mentor (who is a Christ follower) to get medical help.  For years I refused.  Why?  Because the church advised against it.  Their reasoning was a) my faith just wasn't up to par and I needed to read the Bible and pray more (don't we all), b) would a real Christian allow the devil to attack them like this? c) I was being selfish and had myself on my mind too much was the reason I was depressed (at the time that gem was said I was working a job that was killing me and I was teetering on the edge of bankruptcy, but yeah, I was just selfish; that had to be it)  d) there are people with worse problems than you. (yeah...and?)  e) antidepressants have side affects that are worse than the meds themselves (I found out from my doctor that not all of them do).  I finally had one too many rounds of weeks in bed and suicidal thoughts to fiddle fart around with people who were more worried about image than people getting well.  I have tread my own path to healing without leaving my walk with Jesus out.  In fact, it starts there.  Like T.D. Jakes said, "Whatever ain't healed yet gots to get fixed."  I'm not completely well yet, but I can bounce back much quicker, and I have a network of friends and mentors who neither minimize my pain nor let me wallow in it.

So what does this have to do with Robin Williams?  What if in his quest to get help, he was told, "Well Robin, you have everything.  What have you got to be depressed about?"  Most of the news outlets I read from have analyzed his plight in just that degrading fashion.  What if he kept being the squeaky wheel that got no grease?  What if his humor was a covering for the real pain he felt, but his close circle of friends glossed over it to keep the good times rolling?  What if he was simply given crappy advice that kept him ill?  Of course, I don't know these things for certain, and I'm not going to act like I do.  However, for someone who has her phasers set to "snarky" most of the time, I know what the struggle of the sad clown feels like.

It's not simply Robin Williams I mourn, it is all who battle depression I mourn for.