In chapter three, she states that those of us who deal with chronic insecurity have a "false positive"-- the one thing that we believe would make us more secure in everything. She asks the reader to ponder what that one thing might be. You would think that question would be easy for me to answer. But no, I've got so many potential answers that I have to see the one place they all lead. The single road where all the others fork from is physical perfection.
When I say physical perfection, I do not merely mean ridding myself of the excess weight in order to be healthy. I mean the whole package: slimmer body, well kempt hair that should never see a ponytail or bun in public, teeth that never show my propensity for morning coffee, a well-hidden strabismus under better looking spectacles (think Greg Proops cool), everything always showered and shaved, painted and powdered, the works.
Why? Why is this one the granddaddy of them all? Because for a woman, if she has physical perfection, she wins (or at least stands a better chance of winning) at everything else:
- Physical - of course, with the perfect physique she wins everything associated with beauty. She gets her picture taken to represent what beauty is. She's not cropped out of group photos because she makes the group look good. She is "it."
- Mental - She would acceptable even if she had any kind of depression or less than perfect behavior. She would hear, "Oh, bless your heart, I know you're having a hard time. What can I do for you?" instead of overhearing, "I knew her fat ugly butt was cray-cray. Is there a way to get rid of her? She's really making us look bad."
- Spiritual - Churches would adore her as the "Proverbs 31" woman. She would be asked to all the fellowships, ladies' binge watching parties, and other such connections. She would be the one the church would be proud to call one of their own--she represents the best of the best--the cream of the crop, if you will. After all "whatsoever things are lovely...think on these things" right?
- Social - Her most acceptable state is married (of course, what good man could resist her beauty?) with perfect little beautiful children. If she isn't married, this will be acceptable...for a time. "Oh honey, we know that you are just waiting for the right one. Remember, you DESERVE the best."
- Financial - Pretty girls get the best jobs (qualified or not). They don't get passed over for promotion (again, like the church, she's a beautiful representation of our company. Again, qualified or not). If something goes wrong, the beautiful girl will never be ostracized for being on public assistance. "Darlin' you've got to do what you can to take care of yourself. You've got to keep yourself in what you're used to. A pretty girl like you DESERVES the best."