I'm sitting in Denver Airport, getting ready to head to my home town typing this last 31 day post on my phone. I've fought through vacation brain throughout this entire blog challenge. I'm going to close this with an appropriate song:
Thanks for reading y'all. I'll see you when I get back.
Since our staff retreat last summer, I've been developing my life's mission statement. I still haven't nailed it down, but I know that part of it is giving a voice to those who can't speak for themselves and fighting for the defenseless.
I've fought part of the fracus for years. As a I talked about here, my crochet hooks, paints, and sewing machine fight a battle for the unwanted unborn. They've also helped bring joy to the lonely, unvisited patients in nursing homes who don't have a voice. One of my dreams is to assist families who want to adopt and give a voice to unwanted children.
A fight I've taken up but don't yet know how to win is the battle against the lie told to single women that their only worth is in the context of marriage and motherhood. All I can do in this battle is be the voice of reason.
The biggest fight of all has been for my own health and sanity. While I fight for others who have no voice, I must fight my own battles and be my own voice. The fight is far from over, but I've come a long way. I will continue to fight until what I see in the mirror matches my inner image. I will battle until my mind stops dragging me in the mire of melancholy.
If I hear the phrase, "life is meant to be lived in community" one more time, I'm going to throat punch somebody! I'm sick of hearing what I should do, but no one having the ability to properly present community as something other than a marriage and family. That ain't me. That ain't everybody.
As a kid, I understood having very few friends. Combine being the fattest kid in class with glasses so thick I should have been able to see through a wall but could barely see past the nose on my face intertwined with being a poor kid and eventually, an angry kid--this equals a terrible formula for community building.
But now?
Now, I'm a completely different person than I was, but the results of community building seem to still be the same; not much togetherness.
I need some instructions on how to put this thing TOGETHER.
This is the goal. I'm just not sure what step one is.
I Thessalonians 5:23 (KJV) - And the very God of peace sanctify you wholly; and I pray God your whole spirit and soul and body be preserved blameless unto the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ.
When we bring all of who we are to God, He cares about the totality of it. He doesn't just care about the spiritual; He also cares about the physical and the mental. After all, He created the whole man, so the whole man is His concern.
I'm glad to see that churches are finally starting to give care to the sum total of the human as God intended. For the longest, mental health, nutrition, and physical exercise weren't on the radar, and were even frowned upon.
In my research on getting through the winter, I'm looking for total self-care. Hopefully, it will help me come out whole on the other side of winter.
In the moment. Spur of the moment. Moment of truth. Ah-ha moment. Defining moment. Moment of decision. Live in the moment. Senior moment. Blond moment. I need a moment.
I know I've talked a lot about the coming winter, but other than my vacation, it's predominant in my mind. I'm sorry, but it scares me. The prospect of cold lonely dark days sends shivers up my spine. An upcoming battle royale with Seasonal Affective Disorder already makes me tired. However, a ray of hope shines--and God used a couple of podcasts to turn the light on.
I'd heard on the By the Book podcast about the Danish concept of "hygge," or cozy. However, the hosts ruined it because they claimed it was a "white middle class concept."
Anyway...
This week's Ear Biscuits podcast was about whether the seasons affected humans mentally and why (or why not). They mentioned the Norwegian concept of "Koselig." Like hygge, koselig is the act of finding the cozy of the season. Cozy knows no race or socioeconomic status and is relative to the individual. What's cozy to you might not be cozy to me, and vice versa.
As the new season sets in, I will be looking for moments of cozy. Somehow, moment by moment, I'm going to beat this thing.
I need You Jesus to come to my rescue. Where else can I go? There's no other name by which I am saved. Capture me with grace, I will follow You.
Rescue by Desperation Band
This prompt brought back great memories of this song. This was a staple at Celebrate Recovery from my friends from Audience of One.
A relationship with the God of grace isn't bondage; it is freedom from bondage. We are captives of Christ by choice, not by force. I love how the Apostle Paul referred to himself as a bondservant of Christ (Romans, chapter one, NKJV). He was free, but chose to be ever-bonded to Christ.
I want to be so captured by the grace of God that I can't help but walk in total freedom.
If you would like to join in and post your own Daybook, please head on over to visit Peggy at The Simple Woman's Daybook
For Today: Wednesday, October 25, 2018
Outside my window …
This weekend was CCU's homecoming. Along with their Cougar Dash 5k (complete with complementary pancake breakfast), the university has an annual Balloon Glow. It was fun to see all the students, parents, and alumni on the quad enjoying the festivities.
OK. I'll give you a BRIEF blurb on what's on my mind today. How about that?
I've been thinking about the upcoming calendar new year. Yes, I know my new year started back in July with My Mythical Year, but the new calendar year will be a time for me to revamp and refocus. No, I'm not doing the typical resolutions. Otherwise, they'll end up like this:
Funny song, but no, no, no. In relation to eternity, my life is brief. I don't want to waste it living life "in general" "raising the bar to walk effortlessly underneath." I need a concrete plan, especially with winter fast approach-ing. Winter is long here in Colorado and it could undo all the progress I've made over the past year. I say nay, nay!
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I am thankful...
...for a boss who respects my input and opinion.
...for good landlords.
...for a well stocked Dollar Tree.
From the Workshop...
A baby set for an expectant mommy where I do my banking. Baby Ruben is due 10/31.
From Auntie's Test Kitchen: Got a question for y'all. I want the R in my A-Z challenge to be "Random Recommendations." Can you guys recommend your favorite SIMPLE recipe, or odd food that TASTES GOOD (this ain't Good Mythical Morning and I don't have a custom barf bucket). For example, my friend Mindy likes peanut butter and pickles. I like both items but have never put them together. Please leave your suggestion in the comments, or e-mail them to me at auntiesworkshop@outlook.com. Thanks in advance for your help.
I am reading... I tried cranking up my reading mojo, but ended up putting one in the DNF pile: Ready Player One by Earnest Cline. I didn't even finish chapter two before it got on my nerves. It started out so good, then took a nosedive. Something is wrong. I started reading It Wasn't Always Easy, but I Sure Had Fun by Lewis Grizzard and I'm not enjoying it. I ALWAYS enjoy Grizzard's work. Good grief, the changing seasons are already getting to me. This won't do. I may have reread one of my favorites to get back on track.
I am learning... that I've got a lot of learning to do.
Favorite quote(s) of the week:
"If my memory serves me, correct me." Charles "Link" Neal
"Excuses are tools to build monuments of nothing." Patrick Barnwell
"I wonder if when my Latino friends 'Por espanol marke dos,' do they get an American speaking in broken Spanish? Just a thought." - Auntie's Musings.
"Braxton also had a game tonight (soccer). He sent us a text to let us know how it went..."
'The game went great! We lost 10-0.'
"He’s an optimist." - Billy Crystol (a friend from college, not the comedian--note the spelling)
I am looking forward to...
I'm attending a symphonic concert at CCU this weekend. Sounds like fun.
Common - occurring, found, or done often; prevalent.
I know that I'm seen as a commoner, but hope to be far from common. That's odd, considering I spent a lot of time struggling with my identity in Christ. It took a lot of prayer and study for me to stop thinking I'm just one of the "humans" God has to put up with. Occasionally, I have to tamp that thought down again.
His Word calls me anything but common.
Psalm 139:14 (KJV) - I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well.
Ephesians 2:10 (NLT) - For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.
Those words help me remember the unique qualities God entrusted me with.
One of the best compliments I ever got in my blog comments about being common or ordinary was "Ordinary is a word to use for pencils, toilet paper and meatloaf, not you! "
The seasons are changing. The trees are turning their yearly array of reds, golds, and oranges with evergreens and Blue Spruce thrown in the mix. Right now, it's gorgeous out, but my body knows it's just a matter of time before this all gives way to below freezing temps and snow. Yes, I'm living the dream of living somewhere that didn't have ugly winters, and yes, I'll go through this winter with reliable transportation (praise the Lord), but my body feels the change coming and is already acting on it.
It's not a good feeling.
I've already reached out to our church's prayer team for help. I've already gotten some helpful strategies to cope with Seasonal Affective Disorder from one of our counseling professors. I'm working on strategies to help myself through the winter.
I need all the help I can get, because, quite frankly, dealing with this nearly every winter is getting old.
I've got to get started, y'all. I leave for vacation in 11 days and I don't have all my stuff together. I need to start my OCD lists of what I need to pack, where I want to go, people I need to call, etc. I don't want to go all vacation brain at work, but I've got to start thinking about things and get organized. I don't want to be a ball of stress leading up to what should be an extremely fun time.
So many projects I need to start.
So many books started that I need to finish.
So many dreams I need to dust off and start dreaming again.
Today's Cougar Dash 5k was the first race I've done in Colorado. It's been more than a year since I completed a 5k, plus for nearly three weeks I've felt like nine miles of bad road. My expectations for the race weren't high. At first, I wanted to not finish last; by the time I approached the start line, I simply wanted to finish.
I had some company during mile one. I got lapped by several people during mile two. By mile three, I was all alone. No sweepers, no audience, just me. I finished in under an hour--dead last, but I finished.
As my first teaching series at church ends, I'm contemplating what my next set of lessons will be. I'm thinking of doing a teaching on who we are in Christ.
I heard say someone that the problem with people is they love themselves too much. I don't agree. People give the appearance of self-sufficiency and seek attention because they don't know who they are. They don't know that the sacrifice of Christ has given them a holy identity.
I have a hard time with spiritual amnesia myself. I've also been the victim of spiritual identity theft. The enemy sends people to try to convince me that I'm not who God says I am. The truth of His Word is the only defense.
At work, our Wednesday Bible study has been on a series called Think Like a Detective. While the presenter has some valid points on those who wish to argue the validity of the Bible, he misses one valuable piece of information: God searches us just as we search Him. While we can never have all of our questions answered this side of heaven, God knows our hearts, our fears, our doubts, and He meets us right where we are. Did he not say:
But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him. (Hebrews 11:6 KJV)
Anyone who is truly seeking to know more about God and His Word will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit showing up and rewarding the search.
I don't worry about someone who is searching for God. I worry about those who have closed their minds even to the most minute possibility that the God of the Bible is the one true Higher Power. Even so, mine is not to debate and argue, but to assist searchers who want help. Like the early apostles, I can't help but speak the things I've seen and heard (Acts 4:20). At the end of a true search, God shows up.
When we're bored with what we are listening to or watching.
When something or someone more important comes along.
When there is a malfunction and what we're listening to or watching will not play correctly.
When should we press pause on our lives to stop, reflect, and refuel?
When we need to relieve ourselves. Sometimes we just need relief from stressors. Pause and relax.
When we are bored. Sometimes we need to turn away from all that drags us down. Pause and reevaluate
When something or someone more important comes along. Sometime we need to make sure we're making the right people (including ourselves) and activities top priority. Pause and reorganize.
When there's a malfunction. Don't let life hit you so hard that you're forced to stop completely due to physical illness, mental exhaustion, or spiritual emptiness. Pause, rest, and refuel.
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I am thankful...
...for fun conversations with my sister, Clara.
...having to ride the bus to church Sunday made me even more thankful for my car.
...for eyes that see, ears that hear, and a heart that understands God's Word (Matthew 13:15).
From the Workshop...
Working on a set for a baby boy due this month.
From Auntie's Test Kitchen: I'm getting ready for vacation in two weeks, so I'm keeping food purchases to the barest minimum. When I come back, I'll pick up the challenge. Think holidays, y'all.
I am reading... My reading mojo has been slowed lately. I've got to kick it back into gear.
I am learning... that I legitimately hate pumpkin spice. In my quest to continue the mythicality, I'm still trying new things.
Autumn is here and everybody, everywhere is trying to pumpkin spice everything, including Starbucks lattes. I've always gagged at the thought of the pumpkin spice latte, but in all fairness, I'd never consumed one. I was out running errands a couple of Saturdays ago and decided to try one. Oh. My. Goodness. It was nasty and excessively bitter. I kept trying to drink it in the hopes that it would get better. It didn't. So, let's just save the pumpkin spice for candles, shall we?
Favorite quote(s) of the week:
"You are not responsible for everybody's everything. Codependence is not a mark of holiness." - Carolyn Moore
"Surround yourself with things that contribute to the image that God says you are." - Jerry Savelle
"The Christian community should be the safest place, not the scariest place, for fallen people to fall down and for broken people to break down." - Tullian Tchividjian
I am looking forward to...
Finishing my first 5k in Colorado this weekend. At the last minute I signed up for CCU's annual Cougar Dash 5k. So, no time to make or buy a new race tutu.
The Marching Southerners reunion. I got my registration invite in the mail Monday and am getting it turned around asap.
And Now For Something Totally Different: My Mythical Year I've earned another Mythical Merit Badge since my last daybook:
One of the greatest things in the world is knowing that someone is truly praying for you. It takes trust, commitment, and a listening ear to bring a faith-filled request to God on someone else's behalf.
I know that I wouldn't be where I am, much less alive, if not for the prayers of others.
Prayer is an integral part of community building.
**clock ticking**
You know, every year I say I'm not going to do this 31 days challenge. But every year, I end up doing it. I'm on the struggle bus for this prompt.
I Thessalonians 5:25 (NIV) - Brothers and sisters, pray for us.
Y'all, it's hard for me to approach this prompt in a unique way. I don't want to bore you with a list of "when" questions I have on my mind.
I spend a great portion of my brain power fantasizing and dreaming about my future, both the immediate and the distant. As I said in the "door" prompt, I'm not sure how aggressive I should be in trying to see my dreams come to fruition. Creativity flows through my veins--it's how God made me. I want to find outlets for all the books, speeches, sermons, podcasts, concerts, worship services, paintings and fabric projects I have swilling around in my grey matter. All this was going through my mind as I rode home from church yesterday. The song Right Now by Van Halen blasted through my headphones (Yeah, I know it's weird. Hush). For some reason (besides really wanting to learn the drum part), I kept playing it over and over with the thought If not right now, when?
When? Right now.
How? Only God knows, but He's not hiding it from me. I just have to settle down and receive the instructions as to how and when.
Today, I had to ride the weed wagon to church. I woke up to snow on the ground and my Southern driving instincts kicked in that dictates that my car shall not move at all. My Sunday School class better be glad I love them otherwise I wouldn't have gone out at all.
I asked God for a few things. One, that everyone behaved on the bus. Two, that my class would actually show up. Three, to keep me safe as I walked to and from the bus stop (I wasn't sure if it was icy or not). Blessedly, the Lord did honor my requests. For that, I am most grateful.
"...yet ye have not, because ye ask not." - James 4:2
I think I have mastered the art of talking without words. Some of my facial expressions convey my intended message much more effectively than a slew of subjects and predicates. My Dad face (we call it the "ML" in our family) usually stops chronic interrupters or mansplainers in their tracks.
It also works in the positive. I had the neatest thing happen to me in Wal-Mart yesterday. I know neat things and Wal-Mart don't usually occupy the same sentence, but go with me here. I was walking down an aisle, and an older man came up to me and said, "You have a good day too, ma'am. I really like your smile." Now, this was not a dirty old man (if it had been, he would have gotten the "ML"); it was a genuine complement. I made that man's day without saying a word. May I convey the love of Christ by what my actions say as much as what my mouth says. As the saying goes, people want to see a sermon before they hear one.
