Lazy Day of Christmas: Simple Woman's Daybook for Tuesday, December 25, 2012

Outside my window … A rainy and stormy Christmas.

I am thinking...  Why is a grown woman with no children is already in bed at 6pm on Christmas day?

I am thankful... for the true meaning of Christmas.

In the kitchen...  Leftoevers.

I am wearing... Bedclothes.

I am creating... Nothing today.

I am going... Nowhere now.  I went to spoil my grandnieces rotten with candy and to visit a friend I hadn’t seen in a while.

I am wondering... when?

I am reading... Nothing today.   

I am hoping...for a great 2013 (still).

I am looking forward to... having a job that I love.

I am learning… that laughter truly is the best medicine (thanks Craig Ferguson).

Around the house... nothing.

I am pondering...   still thinking about taking a technology/internet sabbatical. 

A favorite quote for today... "The three things you must always ask yourself before you say anything:  Does this need to be said?  Does this need to be said by me?  Does this need to be said by me now?" - Craig Ferguson

One of my favorite things... Gift Cards.

A few plans for the rest of the week:  Getting some workouts in.  Job hunting.  Definitely, a lot of praying.

A peek into my day...

 





I played in a hand bell choir for the first time last night during out Christmas Eve service.  It was great.  I hope we do this again.

If you would like to join in and post your own Daybook, please head on over to visit Peggy at The Simple Woman's Daybook (http://thesimplewomansdaybook.blogspot.com/) . Thanks for stopping by. Y'all come back now, ya' hear. :)

Mug Shot: The Simple Woman's Daybook for Monday, December 17, 2012.

Outside my window … A rainy and dreary Monday; what Scottish people call “dreich.”

I am thinking...  Well, I’m still having my coffee, so I’m still warming up to the idea of thinking. J

I am thankful... for a roof over my head.

In the kitchen...  Wheat pancakes and eggs for breakfast. Not sure about the rest of the day yet.

I am wearing... Bedclothes.

I am creating... Going to try my hand at hand painted greeting cards this week. Not sure how they are going to turn out, but I’m willing to give it a try.

I am going... Nowhere today other than taking my mom to run errands.  It’s wet out and I’m minimizing my time on the road.

I am wondering... if …only if.

I am reading... The Quiet Little Woman. It’s a trilogy of Christmas short stories by Louisa May Alcott.   

I am hoping...for a great 2013.

I am looking forward to... having a job that I love.

I am learning… that trying to go at life on my own is the worst way to live.

Around the house... Tidying up and trying to find my Christmas wreaths.

I am pondering...  taking a technology/internet sabbatical. 

A favorite quote for today... "...I guess any attention is good attention for a nutcase!" - Craig Ferguson

One of my favorite things... The laughter of children.  Ain’t nothin’ like it.  J

A few plans for the rest of the week:  Concert with the community band on Tuesday, choir practice on Wednesday, Celebrate Recovery on Friday.  Getting some workouts in.   Not sure what else.

A peek into my day...

 

Yeah, I know it's weird, but I think this mug is cool.

 

If you would like to join in and post your own Daybook, please head on over to visit Peggy at The Simple Woman's Daybook (http://thesimplewomansdaybook.blogspot.com/) . Thanks for stopping by. Y'all come back now, ya' hear. :)

Peals and Roses The Simple Woman's Daybook for Saturday, December 15, 2012

Outside my window … A quiet, cool evening.

I am thinking... about Christmas. 

I am thankful... that God takes care of me and that He loves me.

In the kitchen...  It’s late, so nothing.

I am wearing... my robe.

I am creating... an afghan I’m calling “Mom’s Rose Garden” inspired by a quilt by Eleanor Burns.

I am going...to sleep soon.

I am wondering... if I’ll have a good Christmas. I’m wondering what the new year holds for me.

I am reading... The Biblical accounts of the birth of Christ in Luke 2 and Matthew 1-2.  Not only do they renew the Christmas spirit in me, but also give me much comfort.

I am hoping...that life will get better...and stay that way.

I am looking forward to... A brand new start—new EVERYTHING.
 
I am learning… that if I really do learn to live “one day at a time, enjoying one moment at a time” while looking forward with hope, my mood and attitude is really much better.

Around the house... Just a little tidying up tomorrow.

I am pondering...  how to make the life moves I need to make.  I’m going to need a lot of help with this one.

A favorite quote for today... “Careful, Icarus.” – Inside joke from the Late Late Show.

One of my favorite things... Pearl Drums.

A few plans for the rest of the week:  Church tomorrow.  Not sure what else.

A peek into my day...

 

If you would like to join in and post your own Daybook, please head on over to visit Peggy at The Simple Woman's Daybook (http://thesimplewomansdaybook.blogspot.com/) . Thanks for stopping by. Y'all come back now, ya' hear. :)

Stinkin' Thinkin' Challenge: The 12th and Final Week

I'm using the following post with permission from Rodney Holmstron, National Encourager Coach for Celebrate Recovery.  Thanks, Rodney.

  

How do you like your eggs?

I can remember as a young boy going to the grocery store to buy eggs for my mom. In her instructions she was very clear when it came to buying eggs. "make sure you open the carton and check for cracked eggs". If I opened the carton and one is cracked or broken, I was instructed to just "put it back on the shelf" and keep looking for one that has a full un-cracked dozen.

As I was thinking about this, I couldn't help but relate it back to my life. For so long in my life, I viewed God as the one opening the carton and looking down on me amongst other people on this earth. I knew I was the cracked and broken egg and surrounded with people that had it all together. Some thoughts would run thru my head like, "Why was I so messed up and everyone else had such a perfect life? Why am I the only cracked egg around here? I know God can't use me and will just stick me back on the shelf to be disposed of later."

Fortunately, looking back I realized that my thinking was distorted. God is not examining each egg, searching for cracks so that He can throw them back. He isn't looking for un-cracked eggs that have it all together. In fact, this is why He sent His Son to die for us. He knows we are all cracked eggs.

I now realize that there is no such thing as a perfect person. We are all broken and He loves us anyway. I have learned now more than ever thru CR that some people can look beautiful and happy on the outside only to have misery and pain on the inside. Just cause there are no visible cracks doesn't always mean the egg is not beginning to spoil on the inside.

If your egg is rotting on the inside or if you have cracks in your shell, don't keep hiding them from the Father, He already knows about them. He has the power to restore, redeem and renew us into a healthy and vibrant being. But until we surrender & acknowledge those to Him, He cannot begin the restoration process.

"Live as if you were living a second time, and as though you had acted wrongly the first time." - Viktor E. Frankl

The Father gives us a second chance at living life. Today, I take all my brokenness and cracks to the cross. I can't wait to see how he will take a cracked egg like myself and make delicious scrambled eggs out of my mess. :)
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Side 1 of Card/Paper: 

 

Isaiah 61:3 - To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, that he might be glorified.

 

Side 2:  God sees me as beautiful!

 

Read over this several times a day for the next week, and let God speak to your heart. Please feel free to share any insights, questions, or prayer requests you may have in the comments.  I hope you have enjoyed this journey with me.

 

 

 

　



Stinkin' Thinkin' Challenge: Week 11

Side 1 of card/paper:

Psalm 68:6 - God setteth the solitary in families: he bringeth out those which are bound with chains...

Side 2:

God did not create me to be isolated and lonely.

Read over this several times a day for the next week, and let God speak to your heart. Please feel free to share any insights, questions, or prayer requests you may have in the comments. 

Stinkin' Thinkin' Challenge: Week 10

Side 1 of card/paper:

Deuternonmy 6:23 - And he brought us out from thence, that he might bring us in, to give us the land which he sware unto our fathers.

Side 2:

God has brought me out of a life of sin and death by the blood of Christ to bring me into His abundant life.

Read over this several times a day for the next week, and let God speak to your heart. Please feel free to share any insights, questions, or prayer requests you may have in the comments. 

Stinkin' Thinkin' Challenge: Week 9

Side 1 of card/paper: 

Psalm 103:12 - As far as the east is from the west, so far hath he removed our transgressions from us.

Side 2:

I AM FORGIVEN!


Read over this several times a day for the next week, and let God speak to your heart. Please feel free to share any insights, questions, or prayer requests you may have in the comments. 

Spanglish and Honey Boo-Boo: The Simple Woman's Daybook for Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Outside my window … The whir of the box fan bringing in the cool air of autumn and college football season.

I am thinking... about the upcoming band alumni reunion at my high school.  I’m looking forward to strapping on a snare drum again.

I am thankful... for a new day and new possibilities.

In the kitchen...  Not sure.

I am wearing... Black workout capris and a t-shirt.

I am creating... Christmas ornaments and a baby shower gift.

I am going...I’ll be out all day.  I’m babysitting “Honey Boo-Boo” this afternoon. 

I am wondering... if the UPS man will read my note and actually leave my package in the door for me.  Hopefully, it will be the delivery guy I know, so he will leave it.

I am reading... Grace:  The Power of the Gospel, by Andrew Wommack.  This book has revolutionized my perception of God’s grace.  It’s is really amazing how we Christians offer unlimited grace to those who don’t know Christ, but offer very little grace to fellow believers, and worse yet, absolutely none for ourselves.

I am hoping...that my bag of awesome musicalness will be waiting for me when I get home (PLEASE Mr. UPS man).

I am looking forward to... A newness, a refreshing in my life.  This life of S.O.S. is getting old.

 
I am learning… that God’s loving grace and Jesus’ loving sacrifice are more powerful than any of my mistakes or accomplishments.

Around the house... Dishes.  'nuf said.

 I am pondering...  starting my own holiday traditions.  Time with the family seems to be more of a stressor than a time of celebration.  It’s time to make some changes.

A favorite quote for today... “The views expressed by me are not necessarily endorsed by me.”  - Craig Ferguson

One of my favorite things... Peanut butter.

A few plans for the rest of the week:  Working in the Workshop.  Not sure what the weekend holds.

A peek into my day...

Yes, I speak Spanglish too.

 

If you would like to join in and post your own Daybook, please head on over to visit Peggy at The Simple Woman's Daybook (http://thesimplewomansdaybook.blogspot.com/) . Thanks for stopping by. Y'all come back now, ya' hear. :)

Stinkin' Thinkin' Challenge: Week 8

Side 1 of card/paper:

I Corinthians 7:23 - You were bought with a price [purchased with a preciousness and paid for by Christ]; (Amplified Version)

Side 2 of card/paper

I am worth it.

Read over this several times a day for the next week, and let God speak to your heart. Please feel free to share any insights, questions, or prayer requests you may have in the comments. 

Here is a video for inspiration:

Stinkin' Thinkin' Chalenge: Week 7

Side 1 of card/paper:

James 2:8 - If you really keep the royal law found in Scripture, “Love your neighbor as yourself,” you are doing right. (NIV)

Side 2:  I love the Lord, I love others, and I love myself.

Stinkin' Thinkin' Challenge: Week 6

Side one of card/paper:

Revelation 4:11 (King James Version)- Thou art worthy, O Lord, to receive glory and honour and power: for thou hast created all things, and for thy pleasure they are and were created.

Side two of card/paper:

I was created for God's loving pleasure.

Stinkin' Thinkin' Challenege Week 5

Stinkin' Thinkin' Challenge:  Week 5

Side one of paper/card:  I Corinthians 6:17 - But he who unites himself with the Lord is one with him in spirit.  (NIV)

Side two: I am one with the Lord!

Stinkin' Thinkin' Challenge Week 4

Stinkin' Thinkin' Challenge, Week 4

Side one of card/paper:  1 Corinthians 6:19-20 - What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? ²⁰ For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's. 

Side two:  I belong to God becasue I was bought at a price!!

What did you learn from last week's challenge?

Friday Funkmaster: Music is the Stuff Dreams are Made of.

Earlier this month, I gave a brief review of the book Look Great, Feel Great by Joyce Meyer.  I know I said that I wouldn't give too much of the book away, but key #10 (Right Vision) continues to churn around in my head. 

One of her suggestions on how to keep a right vision is think and speak your reality into existence (p. 147).  The first part of Proverbs 23:7 says - "For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he."  What we see on the inside is just as (if not more) important than what we see on the outside.  Meyer goes on to give this suggestion:

Another excellent practice is to create a vision of the ideal you.  Carry this vision around in your head, and assume the role of the ideal you, as if you were acting in a play.  Say and do the things the 'ideal you' would do, instead of what the 'now you' does.  Soon, you will become this ideal person and won't be acting anymore.  (p. 149)

Which brings me to the music.  In my workout playlist, there are music selections that give me a vision of my "ideal self."  These are songs that represent something I want to do or someone I want to be.:

 (My ideal self will teach children again and show them how fun fitness can be.  Yeah, I know I've got learn HOW to do the Cha-Cha Slide first.)

 (My ideal self will have the endurance to run to this entire song.) 

 

 (My ideal self will be a certified fitness trainer and lead a "Sacred and Secular indoor walking/aerobics class.  I'm writing the routine for this one and Morris Day and the Time's "The Bird" in my head already.

(Another one my ideal self will run to.  Of course, I may need to be by myself when I run to that one.  I'm tempted to holler during the "ride or die" part when I'm just walking to it.)

What songs inspire your "Ideal Self"?

Stinkin' Thinkin' Challenge: Week 3

Stinkin' Thinkin' Challenge, Week 3

Side one of card/paper:  Romans 5:1 - "Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ"

 Side two: I have been justified!

What did you learn from last week's challenge?

Morning Musings: The Simple Woman's Daybook for Sunday, July 22, 2012

Outside my window … a quiet morning.  For once the dude on the corner isn’t playing loud music, drinking beer, and honking his horn at every car that passes.

I am thinking... about my already horrible weekend.  I wish I didn’t have to go anywhere today.  I know it’s just going to be more of the same.

I am thankful... for good hearing.

In the kitchen...  I had another binge yesterday, so I really shouldn’t eat anything today.  I don’t know.

I am wearing... I haven’t gotten out of bed yet, so I’m still in my bedclothes.

I am creating... My scrunchies are still selling very well (yay).  So, I’m still making those, plus I’m working on a crocheted tiger patter for the Auburn fans.  You would think that something like that wouldn’t be so hard to find.  The Roll Tide elephant was easy.  We’ll see how it goes.

I am going...to church, then back home probably.

I am wondering... if I seriously need medication.  No joke.  I’m seriously wondering if I don’t need Zoloft of Prozac or something.

I am reading... In the Company of Others by Jan Karon. I thoroughly enjoyed her Mitford series.  This book, the second of the Father Tim novels, is not an enjoyable read.  But I’m going to finish it anyway.  It’s a shame.  Her other books were wonderful, but this one is downright confusing, and dare I say it,  boring.  Oh, well, everyone has an off day.  This is her one off book.

I am hoping...that I get heard, really heard.

I am looking forward to... football season.  I’m looking forward to listening to Eli Gold call Bama games on the radio.  I’m looking forward to the Southerners reunion, and hope I can make it this time.  I’m looking forward to a potential drum-fest with some of the fellows from JHS.  Man, I miss playing snare.

I am learning… that I have given my power to people who definitely don’t have my best interest at heart.

Around the house... A little straightening up today.  I’ll do the deep stuff during the week.  Need to reorganize the craft closet again.

I am pondering...  the meaning of it all.

A favorite quote for today... “Don't mistake my kindness for weakness, my ability to look over things as ignorance - but make no mistake, when I've had enough, I'm done!” – Author Unknown.

One of my favorite things... Reading.

A few plans for the rest of the week:  Mon: Volunteering at Sav-a-life. Tue:  taking some of the family to run errands and such. Ripping At&T a new one AGAIN this week. Mostly working in the workshop and hopefully making some sales.

A peek into my day...

(My old Yamaha bass is dead yet again, and more jury rigging isn't going to help.  THIS is what I want to replace it with.) 

 

UPDATE  I did receive this coveted bass guitar as a late birthday present from one of my musician buddies about a month after this post was written.  GOD IS AWESOME! 

If you would like to join in and post your own Daybook, please head on over to visit Peggy at The Simple Woman's Daybook (http://thesimplewomansdaybook.blogspot.com/) . Thanks for stopping by. Y'all come back now, ya' hear. :)

Facing the Pain.

This is in answer to the question:  What do you see when you look in the mirror?

There are some things in life that we can't control, and some of those things bring us pain.  Illness or injury bring physical pain.  Other people can say or do cruel things that cause us emotional pain.  And sometimes it doesn't take people at all; circumstances can deal us a bad hand and cause a lot of pain and suffering.  Not all of these events are necessarily traumatic.  Lots of small little hurts in our lives can add up to a general state of sadness or low-grade despair.  Sometimes the simple lack of stimulation from loved ones in our lives can contribute to boredom and loneliness, which can be some of the hardest emotional suffering to endure.

Joyce Meyer's book Look Great, Feel Great, p.  109
 

This is what pain looks like.  This is the pain I keep trying to get rid of. Yes, there are smiles in the pictures because there have to be.  Underneath is utter torment.  This is the pain I'm reminded of every time I look in the mirror.  This is the pain that hollers every morning "NOT GOOD ENOUGH!  HATED!  SHAMEFUL!  UGLY!  DIE!"  This is the outward manifestation of inner turmoil.   This is the product of feelings unfelt, love rejected, depression shamed and untreated,   and humanity unrecognized.  This is what I want to stop, to kill at any cost.

What I yearn for is not fashion model thinness, nor vain beauty that is fleeting (Proverbs 31:30).  Nor do I crave sex appeal (I'm too old for that crap, besides I'm not married anyway and most likely will never be).  What I want is the real me to emerge from these layers of damaged flesh and emotions.  What I want is a stable life--a life that shows the truth of God's divine promise of "beauty for ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning."  (Isaiah 61:3)  What I want is to be heard, not shamed into a lonely corner of silence.  What I want is to never see someone else go through the same pain. 

This process of open truth is very painful.  I would rather be happy-go-lucky and continue to hide the fact that my life is not OK.  But that is a lie.  I can't help myself on lies and I certainly cannot help anyone else with lies.

What do you see when you look in a mirror?

Tuesday Inspirations and the Stinkin' Thinkin' Challenge, Week 02

A little mojo for the day:
“Motivation is what gets you started. Habit is what keeps you going.” – Jim Rohn

"There's no such thing as luck.  Luck is preparation that meets up with opportunity."  - Rush Limbaugh

"If anybody tells you that a workout should be easy, you should walk over to them and slap them in the face." - Billy Blanks

Take back your life so your life isn't taken from you.  --Biggest Loser Season 12, episode 4.

Better to have a big goal and reach half of it than to have no goal and reach all of it. -- Joyce Meyer

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What I learned from last week's Stinkin' Thinkin' Challenge:

I struggle with the question of "earning the right" to be loved and cared for.  After all, I've not done anything spectacular or heroic to garner that type of care and concern.  However, as I read John 1:12 (NIV), I caught the phrase "... he gave the right to become children of God."  Did you catch that?  He, Jesus, gave us the RIGHT to become children of God. His love, his care is a free gift, ready for us to open and enjoy.  In other words, I don't have to earn the right to love and care; Christ GAVE me that right.

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Now, the Stinkin' Thinkin' challenge for the week:

Write on Side one of your card/paper:

“I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you." - John 15:15

Side two of card/paper:

 I am Christ's  friend!

Read over this several times a day for the next week, and let God speak to your heart. Please feel free to share any insights, questions, or prayer requests you may have in the comments.  

(Listen and receive)

Manic Monday: Jillian Michaels Talks Mindless Eating.

Y'all know that I'm a fan of The Biggest Loser. Former Biggest Loser trainer Jillian Michaels has a video podcast called "Daily Dose."  Although I don't agree with or support everything that she does or says, I find that she does have some good nuggets of advice.  And since she is a professional trainer and I am not (YET), I will share her content with you from time to time.   The steps she gave a caller in the video below is a very good way to begin to deal with emotional or mindless eating.

07/16/15 - Well, as you can see, Ms. Michaels has made this video "private."  Thanks, Jill, that's really going to help a lot of people.

Anyway...

To reiterate:

• Look for cues that you really are hungry:  When was the last time I ate? Do I have physical signs of hunger?
• If the answer is yes, prepare a proper meal and sit down to consume it.
• If the answer is no, identify the emotions associated with your desire to eat.  Then, create a series of behaviors that are not food related. 

The steps I plan to implement are:

1. Only eat at the dining table.  I have tendency to eat EVERYWHERE.  The only place in my apartment I haven't eaten is the bathroom (ew, that's gross).  Well, and not at the clothesline, but I can't eat and hang laundry at the same time.  :)
2. Create a series of behaviors that aren't food related for when I'm craving:
1. Pray
2. Crochet
3. Take a walk (either outside or inside walking DVD)
4. Write a letter (yes, I still write letters)
5. Read a book
6. Find some social interaction

Well, that's a start.

So, what did you get out of this?  See any step you might want to take?

 

UPDATE: Jillian is back on The Biggest Loser  (yay!), but Daily Dose is no longer being produced (boo!), but the old episodes are still on YouTube.

UPDATE #2 (06/16): Jillian left The Biggest Loser AGAIN.  Not sure if Daily Dose is available any more.  I think the well's run dry, y'all.

Scripture Sunday: Post for Sunday, July 15, 2012

James 2:15-17 (King James Version)

If a brother or sister be naked, and destitute of daily food,

¹⁶ And one of you say unto them, Depart in peace, be ye warmed and filled; notwithstanding ye give them not those things which are needful to the body; what doth it profit?

¹⁷ Even so faith, if it hath not works, is dead, being alone.

Listen to it in the Message Paraphrase or as I call it "The Homeboy's Translation":

Dear friends, do you think you'll get anywhere in this if you learn all the right words but never do anything? Does merely talking about faith indicate that a person really has it? For instance, you come upon an old friend dressed in rags and half-starved and say, "Good morning, friend! Be clothed in Christ! Be filled with the Holy Spirit!" and walk off without providing so much as a coat or a cup of soup—where does that get you? Isn't it obvious that God-talk without God-acts is outrageous nonsense?

(I don't think I need to add a thing to that. )

Crimson Elephant: The Simple Woman's Daybook for Saturday, July 14, 2012

Outside my window … Humid air and bugs, bugs, bugs.

I am thinking... about how I’m going to make it through the next six months.

I am thankful... for my 4 year chip I got at Celebrate Recovery last night.  I’m thankful that my phone bill is paid this month.

In the kitchen...  Whole wheat biscuits tomorrow.

I am wearing... Minimal sleepware.

I am creating... Finishing up a Roll Tide Elephant for a customer.  Still making hair scrunchies.  They are selling very well.  Hope to keep on selling them.

I am going...Now?  to sleep.  Tomorrow?  Church.  Don’t know what other adventures await me.

I am wondering... about how people can be so wishy-washy. I know I have issues too, but good night!

I am reading... actually, I’ve been listening to Michael Hyatt’s leadership podcast “This is Your Life.”  It’s been very educational and frustrating all at the same time.

I am hoping...that I soon see the answers I need.

I am looking forward to... getting in some workouts this week.

I am learning… that to honor and respect someone does not mean that I have to subject myself to be mentally bullied by them.

Around the house... ???

I am pondering...  still pondering the question of what is healthy in my life.

A favorite quote for today... “ I heard a commercial for Dodge where the guy talked about how eco-efficient his truck was because it has a sensor that powered the engine down when he was on the highway. I have one too. It's called a TRANSMISSION!” -- Me

One of my favorite things... The Rick and Bubba Show….most of the time.

A few plans for the rest of the week:  Mon: Volunteering at Sav-a-life and hopefully getting groceries. Not sure about the rest of the week.

A peek into my day...

Finishing up another one of these.












If you would like to join in and post your own Daybook, please head on over to visit Peggy at The Simple Woman's Daybook (http://thesimplewomansdaybook.blogspot.com/) . Thanks for stopping by. Y'all come back now, ya' hear. :)

Friday Funkmaster: Music to Make Your Workouts Groovy

Last week, I talked about inspiration and motivation. One of things that inspires me to keep moving even when things aren't going so well is music.  A good tune also keeps me going when things are going well and makes them go even better.  This week, I want to share a few songs that pump me up and make me smile.  Enjoy!

Ricardo Sanchez:  Grano de Mostaza

(Loose Translation:  If you have faith as a grain of mustard seed, says the Lord, you would say to the mountain move and it will move.  Move, move.) 

Not only am I moving the spiritual mountains through faith.  But I'm also moving this mountain of fat towards disintegration!

Carman & DC Talk - Addicted to Jesus

An oldie but a goody:  This song is a not-so-subtle reminder that I need to daily choose to trade my addiction to food into a radical addiction to Jesus.

Weird Al Yankovic - White and Nerdy

This is my life's theme song that reminds me that I don't have to be like everyone else.  I'm learning to like being me. 

What songs pump you up or bring you joy?

.

The Little Voice in Your Head: The Stinkin' Thinkin' Challenge, Week 1

Before I dive into this subject, I thought I'd share a funny clip with you.  Pay special attention from 3:20 to 3:35.  Enjoy.

Funny huh? My personal favorite was the Weed, California joke.  But anyway, time to get serious.

Let's talk about the "little voices in your head" and what they mean to us.

I was watching a documentary on youtube about a young girl in a group treatment facility for anorexia.  I was fascinated by a statement one of the girls made: 

There’s someone who lives in your head, but she’s moved the real you out of your brain and just sort of left a tiny bit of it and she controls your brain and everything you do.

First, this quote answers your question:  Why is she watching videos about anorexia?  She's fat.  I watched them because  1) I envy these girls for their appearance of discipline to simply not eat and/or to exercise excessively (I said I envy the discipline, not the disorder) and 2) because I wanted to understand the mentality of someone who was dangerously thin, yet still thought they were fat.

I have found that in my case, the mentality of the obese and the anorexic is shockingly similar.  I have often felt that I was under the control of an "alternate" me.  No, not disassociation or demon possession, but a fracture between the outside me and the inside me.

The outside me is the one people see; the people pleaser, the chameleon fueled by the fleeting strength of the false bravado of someone without a care or need.  The real me, the inside me, is the me I one I want to see when I look in the mirror and I'm shocked when I don't. She is strong and healthy, has friends and is free to express needs

Then there's "HER": the mediator between the inside me and the outside me.  "HER" is the taskmaster who yells in my head:

"unworthy of love" 
"fat, ugly, lazy, disgusting slob!"
"Only a two pound weight loss, that's not good enough!  YOU'RE NOT GOOD ENOUGH!"
"FAILURE!"
"Who do you think you are?!"
"You might as well give up and eat. EAT! EAT! EAT!"

"HER" propels me toward junk food like a junkie toward crack, all the while soothing me with the lie of, "It will get better.  This is the last time you'll have to do this."

In all this, the real me gets lost; locked deeper and deeper into a prison cell--a limited space with no prospect of escape (much less thriving).

So, how can we heal?  First, it cannot be done alone (I don't care what the self-help books say).  There are steps we can take, but we must have help, support, and accountability.  We need help to completely change our minds.

Romans 12:2 says, "Do not be conformed to this world (this age), [fashioned after and adapted to its external, superficial customs], but be transformed (changed) by the [entire] renewal of your mind [by its new ideals and its new attitude], so that you may prove [for yourselves] what is the good and acceptable and perfect will of God, even the thing which is good and acceptable and perfect [in His sight for you]."  (Amplified Version)

III John 1:2 says - Beloved, I pray that you may prosper in every way and [that your body] may keep well, even as [I know] your soul keeps well and prospers. (Amplified Version)

Our soul is our mind, will, and emotions.  Our spirit and soul must be well and balanced in order for our bodies to be well and balanced.  Only when we use God's Word to begin to think of ourselves the way He thinks of us, can we really be free from the taskmaster that destroys our mind, crushes our will, and mangles our emotions.  This changes aren't instant.  They happen one day at a time, one thought at a time.

Rodney Holmstrom, the National Encourager Coach for Celebrate Recovery set up a "Stinkin' Thinkin'" challenge earlier this year.  I would like us all to participate in it.  All you need is index cards or pieces of paper and a pen.

Write on Side 1 of your card/paper:   "Yet to all who did receive Him, to those who believed in His name, He gave the right to become children of God." John 1:12

Write on Side 2: I am a child of God!!!

Read over this several times a day for the next week, and let God speak to your heart.  Please feel free to share any insights, questions, or prayer requests you may have in the comments.  Let's do this!

(Good body image begins with a good state of mind.  Warped thinking produces a warped body image.)