Z is for Zee End...or is it? [A-Z Blog Challenge]

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Zee End...or is it?

 

As I end this blog challenge, I thought I'd present some "honorable mentions" for my recovery heroes series:



Dolvett, Jillian, and Bob:  The Biggest Loser Trainers.

 

The sweet ladies from my Sunday School class.  We are called morning blend.



77 year old Ernestine Shepherd is one of the world's oldest competitive female body builders.  She didn't get started on her health journey until she was in her 50's.

 

Richard Simmons.  Flamboyant? Yes.  But this dude has maintained his health for about as long as I've been on this planet!

 

I hope you've enjoyed going on this blog challenge journey with me.  Stick around for more
 



 

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Y is for YMCA [A-Z Blog Challenge]

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YMCA

Pulling into the parking lot, I see the nice cars lined up in the spaces; some with the little stick figure family decals (which I think are tacky simply because they are of no use to me).  Many of the vehicles even sport a bicycle rack (oh hoity toity).  I gaze at the well manicured grounds, smell the fresh paint, and hear the music coming from inside.  I think, “Oh Lord, what am I doing here?  I don’t belong here.”  Hesitantly, I step through the front door.  I’m greeted in the foyer by faces; some smiling, some looking like they’ve been sucking on a sour pickle for 14 years.  “Sigh.  I haven’t even said good morning, and the analysis has started already.”  Timidly, I go into the crowded main room.  Those familiar with the routine are exchanging pleasantries, giving a quick smile and nod my way.  A few more “pickles” are puckering up and nodding my way as if to say “What is SHE doing here?!  This is OUR place!  Who does she think she is?!”  I try to ignore their stares.  With shaking hands I hang up my jacket, pop in my headphones, and step onto the treadmill.  And so, the fight begins.

I’ve often heard it said that a church is the most judgmental place on earth.  Unfortunately, that is true in some cases.  However, I believe that the gym is an even more judgmental place. - Excerpt from my post "Mind Your Business." 

This superior attitude had been the majority of my experiences with working out in public.  I'd been to a couple of gyms that offered free trials before I signed on the dotted line.  They were all too intimidating and made me feel like I didn't belong.  Sorry, but I guess fitness clubs are for people to stand around and talk about how fit they already are, not to actually get fit  This was in the days before JackVegas built our new Community Center and before Planet Fitness and their "no gymtimidation" commercials.  That is, until I encountered the local YMCA.

 

When I was about 10 years old, my Girl Scout troop (shout out to troop 149 Cottaquilla Council) had a lock-in at the Calhoun County YMCA.  I know I was just a kid running around playing and eating junk food, but something about how nice people were stood out to me.  Years later, I decided to try a membership there.  They were great.  The Y is how all gyms should be:

• They had instructors who showed the proper way equipment should be used and would not move on to the next apparatus until they were sure you understood what you were doing..  No guesswork or injuries.
• They had fitness classes for every level with certified fitness instructors.  (There wasn't any Zumba back then, thank the Lord.)
• Anyone not there to workout was asked to leave.  I remember being in a cardio kickboxing class when a group of women came in, sat on the back row, and proceeded to watch, point, and laugh at us instead of participating with us.  The instructor promptly stopped the music and told them to either join in or leave.  They left.  No lunks, no spectators, no BS.  Thank you very much!
• There were no "club levels."  In other words, you weren't asked to get off of a piece of equipment because you weren't in a particular workout group or socioeconomic class.  Been there, done that, you can keep it.

I worked out there for a good long while and had a great time.  It was the first place where I actually looked forward to working out and had fun in the process.  Financial difficulties were the only reason I gave up my membership. 

 

I visited the Y this past month for a running clinic and orthotics demonstration.  There was more of the same cheerful and accepting attitude.  There will always be a special place in my heart for the Y.

 

 





 

 

For more information on the A-Z Blog Challenge, go to:

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X is for X's [A-Z Blog Challenge]

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X's

 

"All my x's live in...stretch pants." - Me

 

“Even if you look good–because women at 40, 50, 60 are working out and y’all look good–but you can’t wear the pants that say ‘Juicy.’ Stop that!” - Sinbad, Comedian
 

I hate shopping.  I know that's a shocker for a female to say.  Want to pass out?  I'm probably the only woman on the planet who hates to buy shoes.  *thud*

 

In the beginning when my clothing size was off the chart, shopping was difficult because there wasn't much available for the plus size/extended size/heifer-husky size.  The choices were stripped muumuu, flowered muumuu, stripped muumuu with flowers, flowered muumuu with stripes...you get the idea. 

 

As I began to lose x's--I've lost at least 3; I've got one left--I had more choices...sort of.  The smaller the size, the less fabric used to make the garment.  Can designers not find a happy medium between "Extreme Makeover: Prude Edition" and "BET's Hoochie Mama Collection" without everything looking like a business/church lady suit or MawMaw wear?  Look, my 80-year old mom doesn't even wear MawMaw wear!  But hey, at least it's not a muumuu.

 

A wonderful piece of advice that has helped me in my journey actually came from Dr. Phil.  Years ago In my cable days when his show featured The Ultimate Weight Loss Challenge, he said that when clothes were too big, to get rid of them.  This gets rid of two things:  the temptation to make poor choices that get me back into the larger sized clothes, and the "might need" mentality that sets me up for failure (and clutter).  I've done that, and even though I'm struggling, I've managed to stay in the same sized clothes for more than a year.  Dr. Phil also said to get rid of elastic waist pants, but I can't go there yet.  Elastic waist pants are cheaper.

 

It's a small thing, but I'm still amazed every time I look at the XL tags in my clothes.  It still feels like they shouldn't fit, but they do.  After looking a huge clothes in my closet for so many years, an XL, though still big, looks very small to me.

 

Imagine what a nut I'll act when I'm down to a large! Have mercy!





 

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W is for Woolly Booger [A-Z Blog Challenge]

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Woolly Booger

 

This is Jimmy.  Jimmy (or as I say to people, my friend over there with the woolly booger beard) is a fellow struggler and Christ follower  He is also the Training Coach for my local Celebrate Recovery (CR).

Why is Jimmy a hero to me?  1) I've heard his testimony of struggle and triumph, and seen the evidence of God working in his life.  B) Jimmy has such a heart for CR.  He simply oozes recovery.  3) Jimmy encouraged my running.  Last year, He and I ran many of the same 5k races.  Well, not only is he taller than I am, Jimmy is also a much faster runner.  He would finish his race, run back to find me, and run with me to my finish--cheering me on the whole time since he pretty much could just walk to keep up with me.  That wasn't something I asked him to do; it was his way of encouraging me to keep going until I finished.

Is that not how recovery works?  A sponsor or accountability partner  who's further along in his recovery--comes along side someone who's not as advanced, pushing them to finish the course no matter how long it takes.  That's why I said Jimmy simply oozes recovery without even trying.

Thanks for being a hero, my woolly booger friend!




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V is for Volunteering [A-Z Blog Challenge]

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Volunteering

 

"Make yourself useful."  Man, how many times have I heard that over the years?  I was always told that serving others was a help to them.  I've observed how much volunteering also helps me.

• It keeps me active.  While I am still job hunting, volunteering gives me a burst of activity that accomplishes something useful.  It's softens the blow of rejection from potential employers.
• Volunteering lets me use my strengths.  Most of my duties involve music, crafts, or office work.  Three things I'm good at.
• I meet new people through volunteering.  It's awesome that God has taken me from painfully shy to social butterfly.
• It gives me a purpose.  One of the worst feelings in the world is to be bombarded with the thought that my life serves no purpose.  My purpose is constantly challenged because I have no husband, children, or (as of right now) a job.  Apparently, society has dictated that those are the only three purposes in life for a female.  When ladies get together, those seem to be the only three things they seem to try to find commonality on.  Kind of frustrating.  When I get the chance to help someone, they don't reject the help because I'm not married or say, "I'm sorry, but we don't accept donations from the childless."  They don't care.  Let me rephrase that; MOST of the time, they don't care.  Sorry, but I have actually been rejected for service because of my marital status.  Tacky, I know, but in some circles, marital status is a direct correlation to one's ability to wash dishes.  O.o
• Volunteering is just plain FUN. 

Some of the places I'm able to make myself useful:

• Sav-A-Life
• Celebrate Recovery
• Calhoun County Community Band

Check them out.  They can always use more useful folks.





 

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U is for UGLY [A-Z Blog Challenge]

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Ugly

 

What if everywhere you went, you ran into someone you didn’t like? In fact, you absolutely loathed them! Wouldn’t that be an absolute horror? "Oh, crap," you’d think "him again!" You go to a party and you have to hear all about her family and what she thinks. You go to church and he’s sitting right beside you in choir to sing loud and off-key in your ear. "What a pain in the...butt this is!" you think. Then, it gets even worse. There he is at the dinner table with you! She’s lounging by the pool on your vacation. They are EVERYWHERE!

Now, before you put on your sanctimonious shoes and say "I don’t hate anybody. God says we’re supposed to love everybody’ answer me this question. What if I told you that the hated person I just described is YOU? 

 

That's right, YOU!

 

As many mean things as I've seen, heard, and had done to me over the years, the meanest things I see now are thing things that we say and do to ourselves.  We give others grace and mercy while giving ourselves none, we say things to and about ourselves that we wouldn't dare say to or about someone else.  When is the last time you told someone else that they were fat, old, lazy, and stupid?  Yet, we say these things to ourselves every day.

 

So how to we fix this?  We've got to get UGLY:

 

U - U

G - Gotta

L - Love

Y - Yourself

 

One of the hardest things for me to take on in my journey is loving myself.  It comes from a combination of fighting low self-esteem from years of feeling unloved by others, plus being taught the bonehead concept that loving oneself was selfish and sinful.  In several places in the Bible, it says to love oneself:

Leviticus 19:18 - Thou shalt not avenge, nor bear any grudge against the children of thy people, but thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself: I am the Lord.

Matthew 22:37-39 -Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. 38 This is the first and great commandment. 39 And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.

Romans 13:9 - ...Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.

Galatians 5:14 - For all the law is fulfilled in one word, even in this; Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.

James 2:8 - If ye fulfil the royal law according to the scripture, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself, ye do well.

These passages tell me one important thing:  I cannot truly love others until I truly love and care for myself.  I tried for years to simply focus on loving others and ignore my own needs and feelings.  I tried to make the passages say, "Love thy neighbor better than thyself.  In fact, don't love thyself at all."  The worse I felt about myself, the worse I felt about others and assumed they felt the same way about me as I felt about myself.  Talk about depressing. I had start trying to see myself as God saw me--the way Christ saw me--I was to die for.  I'm nowhere near where I should be, but I'm working on getting and staying UGLY.

 

The getting UGLY principle in recovery?  Principle 2:  Earnestly believe that God exists, that I matter to Him, and that He has the power to help me recovery.  "Happy are those who mourn for they shall be comforted."  Matthew 5:4 





 

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T is for Twelve Steps [A-Z Blog Challenge]

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Twelve Steps

 
The Twelve Steps of Recovery and their Biblical Comparisons
 

We admitted we were powerless over our addictions and compulsive behaviors. That our lives had become unmanageable. Romans 7:18 - I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out.

We came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. Philippians 2:13 - For it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose.

We made a decision to turn our lives and our wills over to the care of God. Romans 12:1 - Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God--this is your spiritual act of worship.

We made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves. Lamentations 3:40 - Let us examine our ways and test them, and let us return to the Lord.

We admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs. James 5:16 - Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.

We were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character. James 4:10 - Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.

We humbly asked Him to remove all our shortcomings. I John 1:9 - If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.

We made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all. Luke 6:31 - Do to others as you would have them do to you.

We made direct amends to such people whenever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others. Matthew 5:23-24 - Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift.

We continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it. I Corinthians 10:12 - So, if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don’t fall.

We sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and power to carry that out. Colossians 3:16 - Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly.

Having had a spiritual experience as the result of these steps, we try to carry this message to others and to practice these principles in all our affairs. Galatians 6:1 - Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted.





 

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S is for Serenity? [A-Z Blog Challenge]

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Serenity?

 

Serenity - the state or quality of being serene, calm, or tranquil; sereneness.

The Serenity Prayer

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

 

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.
        

--Reinhold Niebuhr

[Before I start this discourse, let me issue a disclaimer.  I am in no way criticizing the prayer or the programs the prayer represents.  I'm critiquing my understanding of it.  Thank you.  Now read on...]
 

I've sat through almost six years worth of recovery meetings, all of which were ended with this prayer.  From day one of hearing it in it's entirety, I've been mystified by the purpose of it.  I've not felt serenity from it, but rather, confusion and a bit of dejection settles in.  How?  Well, let's just take this a piece at a time.

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.  How can I possibly just lie down and accept this addiction I can't change, or anything else for that matter?  But then, I hear during every meeting how I can't change myself.  So the message is confusing; you can't change yourself, so you need recovery to change.  Oh, wait, you need to just passively accept what you can't change.  This conundrum doesn't give me an option to "know the difference."

Living one day at a time; enjoying one moment at a time;  I have found great comfort in this portion of the prayer.  Living in the now while receiving healing from the past and planning for a bright future is so freeing.

Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;  Hold on, hardships and failures is why I've not had any peace.  God and His word are the pathway to peace.  Jesus Himself is the Prince of Peace.  According to Strong's Concordance of the Bible, the word peace in Hebrew is shalom, which means "completeness, welfare, safety, health," or as one of my favorite ministers defines it "nothing missing, nothing broken."  Ongoing destructive hardships are the direct opposite of the Biblical definition of peace.  This is getting worse...

Taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it;  I do not understand this line at all.  Yes, Jesus took the world as it is.  However, He forever changed it by his life, death, and resurrection.  So, the world didn't stay "as it is."   My job is to live a life that makes the world better and not leave it as it is.  So, I don't get that part.

Trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His Will; That I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with Him Forever in the next.  Amen.  God is working on me to make all things right, so I'm sure I can be more than just reasonably happy.  The definition of reasonable is "moderate, not excessive."  I have the Spirit of the living God inside me and I'm only supposed to pray for just enough happiness?  No way!  Ephesians 3:20-21 says "Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us, 21Unto him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus throughout all ages, world without end. Amen."  Doesn't sound merely reasonable to me.  Yes, I know that heaven will be better than anything I can imagine.  However, I don't see winning others to Christ if I'm only reasonably happy to be one of His followers.  I've never seen "lemon religion" or "pickle-puss evangelism" work on anyone.  

I realize the this prayer is just a small part of the meetings, and I've just simply refused to pray it because I don't understand it, but many of my fellow strugglers really get a lot of peace from it.  I haven't yet.

I know my blog challenge is about recovery nouns and recovery heroes and this seems to contradict that.  But, I think the good part is that I'm allowed to question these things and find answers.  I'm sure that I will get the answers I need to make this prayer an integral part of my recovery.





 

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R is for Recovery is Life [A-Z Blog Challenge]

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Recovery is Life

 

The eight Celebrate Recovery Principles:

 

Realize I’m not God; I admit that I am powerless to control my tendency to do the wrong thing and that my life is unmanageable.
 

 "Happy are those who know that they are spiritually poor."

Matthew 5:3

 

Earnestly believe that God exists, that I matter to Him and that He has the power to help me recover.

"Happy are those how mourn, for they shall be comforted."

Matthew 5:4

Consciously choose to commit all my life and will to Christ’s care and control.
 

"Happy are the meek."

Matthew 5:5

Openly examine and confess my faults to myself, to God, and to someone I trust.

 

"Happy are the pure in heart."

Matthew 5:8

Voluntarily submit to any and all changes God wants to make in my life and humbly ask Him to remove my character defects.

 

"Happy are those whose greatest desire is to do what God requires"

Matthew 5:6

Evaluate all my relationships. Offer forgiveness to those who have hurt me
and make amends for harm I’ve done to others when possible, except when to do so would harm them or others.

"Happy are the merciful." – Matthew 5:7

"Happy are the peacemakers" – Matthew 5:9

 

Reserve a time with God for self-examination, Bible reading, and prayer in order to know God and His will for my life and to gain the power to follow His will.

 

Yield myself to God to be used to bring this Good News to others, both by my example and my words.

"Happy are those who are persecuted because they do what God requires."

Matthew 5:10

-------------------------------------------------

 



As much as these principles were designed specifically with addiction in mind, the Bible passages--spoken by Jesus Christ Himself--were not disseminated to a roomful of addicts in a recovery meeting.  They were preached to a hillside full of ordinary people who knew they needed them, and religious people who thought they were too good to need them.

These principles are not just for "those" people.  These principles should operate in lives of all of us who seek to know God.  Everybody hurts.  Everybody has "stuff" to deal with:

• Principle 1 lets us know that no matter how much human effort we put behind it, no true change comes without the divine intervention of the one true Higher Power.
• Principle 2 gives us more self esteem that any self-help book could ever draw out.  You matter to God Almighty, Creator of the universe.  This was the hardest principle for me to accept.  C'mon God, I'm just one of the billions of humans You made.  I'm just the runt of the litter.  I know, God, You made me special just like everyone else.  But no, God says things like "You are the apple of my eye" (Deuteronomy 32:10).  and "You are the temple of My Holy Spirit" (I Corinthians 6:19).
• Principle 3 eases our minds and lets us know we don't have to try to control everything.  God is a good God.  If we truly turn our lives over to the care of God, His ultimate good will shine through. (Romans 8:28)
• Principle 4 brings us friends, true friends, who are "Jesus with skin on."  These are not "yes men" who never keep us accountable.  Nor are they "no men" who constantly pee on our dreams and are jealous of our success.  They are that friends that "stick closer than a brother." (Proverbs 18:24)
• Principle 5 reveals the power of the first four principles.  We are able to embrace change--even look forward to it.  We also understand that change is not instant, but gradual.  (II Corinthians 3:18)
• Principle 6 restores relationships and trains us on how to build a better, long lasting network of significant people. 
• Principle 7 improves our conscious contact with God.  We learn more about Him and His plan for each of us.  (Psalm 119:105, Jeremiah 29:11)
• Principle 8 gives us a chance to share what we've learned with others.  (II Timothy 4:2)

These principles are a way of life.



 

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Q is for Quintard Mall [A-Z Blog Challenge]

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Quintard Mall

 

What is the big deal about hanging out at the mall?  Social media is full of "Throwback Thursday" pictures of my classmates cheesing for the cameras at ballgames and hanging out at the mall.  Ball games?  Heck yeah!  Traipsing through the mall? Nah!

Calhoun County only has one bona fide mall (that I know of);  the Quintard Mall in Oxford, Alabama.  When I was a kid, the mall represented trekking the vast expanse between Sears and JC Penny--two stores on the opposite ends of the building--trying to find school clothes big enough for me.  *sigh*  The distance between seemed an impossible chasm to cross, much less cross with people staring at the poor fat kid just trying to make it to the "expanded" sizes rack.

Rick now, my only use for the mall is to buy athletic shoes, audio cables, or computer parts.  One big difference is that though the building has been expanded, I'm not huffing and puffing when I walk from Sears to JC Penny. Now, instead of a walking distance of epic proportions, it is now a short pleasant stroll across the mall, just purchased New Balance shoes in hand, ready to break them in on a ride or run.

Quintard Mall = PROGRESS




 

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