Five Minute Friday: "Broken"

Mark 14:3, 6 (NIV) - While he was in Bethany, reclining at the table in the home of Simon the Leper, a woman came with an alabaster jar of very expensive perfume, made of pure nard. She broke the jar and poured the perfume on his head....“Leave her alone,” said Jesus. “Why are you bothering her? She has done a beautiful thing to me."

A while back, I wrote a post about the concept of beauty in brokenness. At the time, I honestly didn't get it.  Sometimes I still struggle with it. Since that post, off and on I've been racking my brain trying to find things that are more useful or  beautiful when broken.

Some things that are more useful when broken are: eggs, nuts, herbs
Some things that are a beautiful use of broken items:  Mosaics,  kintsugi pottery, art pieces and countertops  made with broken glass, sea glass jewelry.

So what's my point?  I still don't believe that Father God relishes in the brokenness of his children (that's child abuse).  However, I think that God looks at those broken pieces of my life and like an artist, finds ways to lovingly gather and put them together into something useful and beautiful.  Like kintsugi masters, God binds the cracks, chips, and voids in my life together with the strength and beauty of gold; making something more lovely and more valuable than before.

Ok, so I've come this far.  

Now, how do I allow these pieces to be reformed into beauty?  How do I not sweep these pieces into a dustpan and throw them into the dumpster to never be seen again?  How can I, like Jacob/Israel not hide my limp, but instead have an exciting story of meeting God to tell that makes others want to meet Him too?

-----------------------------
In case you missed it:  

* Last week's Five Minute Friday post "Pressure" is here.
* This week's Hodgepodge post, "A Penny Saved...is Still a Penny" is here.
*My latest 2021 Flip and Sip Reading Challenge review of The Five Love Languages:  Singles Edition  is here..
* My latest Auntie's Workshop post "Finishing and Fixing I" is here.

A Penny Saved...is Still a Penny: The Weekly Hodgepodge

Join the fun! 

Come on over to 

From This Side of the Pond 

for the Hodgepodge link-up!

Find a penny. Look at the date and tell us something about your life or what you were doing that year? 

The penny I found was stamped 2014.  This was the year I finally moved out of projects and into Miss Sue's house. This was my three year interim housing before moving to Colorado. Though extremely difficult I'm forever thankful for that time.

Were you given an allowance as a child? Did you have to earn it in some way? Did you learn to save money when you were a child or is that something you figured out as an adult?  

When my parents could spare it, they would give a little spending money.  It wasn't an allowance per se. My parents did instill a strong work ethic in me.  We were extremely poor, so saving money wasn't really an option.  My adult financial skills were honed when I took Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace course.  I have been working the baby steps for over a decade now and hope to get to step seven within the next 10 years.

April 23rd is National Take A Chance Day...what's a chance you need or want to take?

It's not so much chances I need to take, but I have a running list of things I need to "do afraid."  For other people, they may not seem like major things, but I've been very hesitant to do these things.  Some of the "do it afraid" list items are:

• Detail my vehicle at the car wash.  I don't know how to use the car vacs, and I had an embarrassing time pulling into the car wash when I tried to use it last year.  Yes, I can make the most simple tasks difficult.
  
• Call a repair person to put new saddles on my bass guitar.  My bass is way out tune with itself and needs new parts to correct the intonation. The man must be trustworthy since I got his number from our worship leader.  However, I feel about my instrument like I feel about my car.  I have dealt with mechanics who see a woman and automatically start seeing dollar signs out of the assumption that my gender means I know nothing about cars (which is untrue).  However, I know practically nothing about my instrument other than putting strings on it, tuning it and playing it, so this guy better be honest.
• Go to our local Chick-Fil-A.  I've eaten food from there several times, but someone else was picking up the food.  The reason I haven't gone myself is I can't figure out how to get over to it.  I see it from Belmar Library, but I also see some sort of parking deck configuration when I'm on that side of Wadsworth.  I'm sure it's simple, but I don't want to embarrass myself trying to figure it out.
  

What's some outdated slang you seem to use a little too often? 

Plain English.  Everyone wants to speak in emojis, abbreviations, and urban dictionary words that don't mean what they mean.

It's National Poetry month and I always like to make us work our brains a little...
Roses are red
Violets are blue
....you fill in the rest with something original...

 Roses are red

Violets are blue

Can we go to Big 5?

I need some athletic shoes.

What?

  

Insert your own random thought here.  

In case you missed it:  

* My last Hodgepodge post, "Hoping for a Patio," is here.
* My latest Five Minute Friday post "Pressure" is here.
*My latest Auntie's Workshop post "Finishing and Fixing I" is here
* My latest 2021 Flip and Sip Reading Challenge review of The Five Love Languages:  Singles Edition  is here.

2021 Flip and Sip Reading Challenge 02

Title:  The Five Love Languages:  Singles Edition (Audio Book)

Author:  Dr. Gary Chapman

Info:  Text Copyright 2009, Chicago: Northfield Publishing.  Audio Copyright 2009:  Oasis Audio

Rating (on a scale of 1-4 stars):  ✮✮

Where Acquired: Library check out.

Synopsis:  Chapman identifies five main love languages spoken by every human:  acts of service, words of affirmation, appropriate physical touch, quality time, and gifts.  Part of a series of similar books, this volume explores how singles can communicate these love languages with significant people in their lives.

Select Favorite Quotes:

From the introductory interview: Often I think churches are not sensitive to single adults. Now, there is a growing number of churches that are starting single adult ministries, and I'm very encouraged about that.  I think that one of the most untapped resources in the local church is single adults.  They have great talents.  They have great abilities.  They often have time, you know, to invest.  If the church can tap into that, they can become wonderful vehicles of sharing the love of Christ with others. (09:30)

We are relational creatures. All humans live in community and most people seek social interaction.  In Western culture, isolation is seen as one of the most stringent of punishments.  Even hardened criminals do not generally aspire to solitary confinement.  (28:27)

As humans, we have a fundamental desire to connect with others. We may be in the presence of people all day long, but we do not always feel connected.  Physician Albert Schweitzer said, "We are all so much together, but we are all dying of loneliness." (02:11:12)

Tender affirming physical touch is a fundamental language of love....One single young lady said, "It's funny that no one hesitates to touch a baby or pat a strange dog, but here I sit sometimes dying to have someone touch me and no one does." She was then apologetic for letting her own needs be known.  She concluded, "I guess that we don't trust letting people know the fact that we all like to be touched because we're afraid that people will misinterpret.  So, we sit back in loneliness and physical isolation."  (02:31:41)

The Positive:

• Years ago, I was introduced to the five love languages when I read Chapman's The Five Love Languages of Children.  It revolutionized the way I taught and related to my preschool students.  It made me a better educator.  It is true that these love languages are universal and needed by every human being, regardless of marital status.
• I appreciate that the author helps us identify primary and secondary love languages.  We need all of the languages, but respond more strongly to some than others.  He also stresses the point that we need to take the time and effort to identify the love languages of others to build healthy relationships.
  
• Chapman gave practical examples not only from the lives of others, but from his own life. He did not distance himself from his work.
  

The Negative:

• There are no chapter markers in the audio version of the book, so it was difficult to navigate.
• While Chapman asserts that marital status doesn't determine one's need for love, this volume is only directed to singles in the context of finding a potential mate.  There's plenty of advice for those who wish to date and eventually marry, single parents, and widows or divorcees looking to remarry.  However there's not much help for a single whose life is not wrapped up in finding a spouse.
• Important issues like advice for singles whose primary love language is appropriate physical touch or quality time but do not have a significant other are conspicuously absent. 
  
• Though I agree with Chapman's description of what truly successful marriages look like (except for the part about marriage being "God's answer for humanity's deepest need" (04:26:22), I do not agree that it is for everyone or that dating is the gateway to a good marriage.  Despite his flowery descriptions of his interpretation, most dating relationships are not built on honesty and truly learning about each other.  From what I have observed, dating is a revealing of one's false self while trying to change the other person.  And the goal is not a healthy marriage; it is usually sex.
• While Chapman seems to applaud single adult ministry, from the context of this book, the single adult ministry in his church is nothing more than a hook up service.  In other words, they are not growing single adults into loving mature believers whose one lover is Jesus; they are grooming them for marriage.  No thank you.
  

Conclusion:

If you are a single adult who truly believes that marriage is for you, I'd recommend this volume.  However, if you are single and finding a man/woman is not the end all of your existence, I'd pass on this one. Like me, you will be left with more questions than answers and be totally emotionally eviscerated and depressed by the end of the book.

Five Minute Friday: "Pressure"

Proverbs 11:16 (ESV) - A gracious woman gets honor...

At least she SHOULD. 

I know that Mother's Day is a month away, but it's been on my mind for the past few days.  This will be our first one without mama.  One joy to which I look forward is that commencement is the same weekend.  My other joy is that on Sunday my Pastor will not be preaching a Mother's Day sermon.

The near decade that mama and I served together at Faith Temple were the best years of our mother-daughter relationship.  They were also the years that I felt less pressure on Mother's Day (I didn't say none, just less).  I could simply say "This is your day, mom.  Have at it." 

What was the first seminary that taught the pastoral formula for preaching Mother's Day sermons?  The formula goes like this:  Expound on a famous mama from the Bible--the top three are the Virgin Mary, Hannah the mother of Samuel, and Jochebed the mother of Moses. Now, pull out Proverbs 31 (always!) and use those wonderful feminine attributes to 1) commend the godly mother you chose from Scripture, 2) commend all the mothers in the church as being the finest things since sliced bread, and 3) hold this standard up to single women and married women with no children, and ask them what's wrong with them that they can't live up to this high standard of womanhood.  Be sure to ignore other passages that empower and commend all godly women regardless of marital and procreation status.  In the closing prayer, be sure to use beautiful flowery spiritual language to pray God's blessing over the moms, but ask the Almighty to fix these "wrong" women who are "desperate to become wives and/or mothers" (even if they are not--we're not BTW).  

Talk about pressure, embarrassment, and pain.

I've endured nearly 30 years of these sermons and thankfully, my Pastor at Colorado Community Church has bucked the trend.  Yes, the church acknowledges and honors the moms on Mother's day; and rightfully so. However, they don't do it in a way that degrades and alienates women who are trying to follow God, rather than peer pressure, in their choices about marriage and family.  Remember, NO IS A CHOICE.

I honestly wish I could send Pastor Gelinas a Mother's Day card thanking him and the leadership of the church for seeing the importance of all the members of the church, being sensitive to the pain of others, and following God, rather than ministerial peer pressure in the sermons he presents.

I know, it's too weird, but I wish I could.

-----
In case you missed it:  

* My last Five Minute Friday post "Savor" is here.
* Last week's Hodgepodge post, "Hoping for a Patio" is here.
* My latest Simple Woman's Daybook post "What Season is it?" is here.
* My latest Auntie's Workshop post "Finishing and Fixing I" is here.