Sunday, September 6, 2015

Under Pressure: Simple Woman's Daybook

If you would like to join in and post your own Daybook, please head on over to visit Peggy at The Simple Woman's Daybook

For Today:  Sunday, September 6, 2015
 

Outside my window …  Shades drawn to hide the beauty of another late summer sunset.

I am thinking...  

I'm thinking about the pressure and when and if it will ever let up. Financial pressure and financial institutions that play dirty...very dirty, health pressure, the pressure to be who God designed me to be instead of what I am now, the pressure to live up to a standard of womanhood that I can't even begin to live.  There so much pressure on me that I nearly can't stand it.


I'm thinking about how to conquer the pressure of depression that's wrapping its dark fingers around my heart once again.  It started out as just a bit of the blues that comes around "the week of woman."  Now, it has expanded into the painful ache of needing the love and touch of other people but finding nothing but isolation in a room full of people.  This is where I wish I was more like a lion instead of the old dog on the porch.  If I were a lion type personality, I would feel like my attempts at friendship and fellowship were an interference into someone else's life.  I'd been looking forward to today's get together.  I knew the moment that I embarrassed myself by knocking at the wrong house that I should have turned around and gone home.  But no, stupid me stayed.  The pain was almost unbearable.

I'm pondering the pressure of being "a living epistle" (II Corinthians 3:1-3)--a good example to others.  After being taught that I'm supposed to be a good example and that the way I live my life may be what determines whether or not someone chooses Jesus, now all I hear is that I shouldn't live for man's approval.  Wait.  It's got to be one or the other; it can't be both.  Am I to be an example, or am I to not care what anyone thinks?  I really don't like for the rules to be changed in the middle of the game.  This confusion is one of the reasons I feel pulled to isolate myself.  I freely admit that I'm a horrible example, but I also keep trying.  That must count for something.  Or not?

I am thankful...  for a day off tomorrow. 

From the Workshop...   Still have many projects going, but also still have no camera so I can't show you.  Sorry.

I am reading...  Finished The Interceding Christian by Kenneth E. Hagin.  The review is here.  This book was part of my Bible Correspondence Course curriculum, so I'll be sending my exam off this week. I got 100% on my last test; let's hope I do as well on this one.  True/False tests look easy, but one little word can throw one off.

New off the shelf:



 
 
I am looking forward to...  Practicing swimming.  I found out my swimming isn't as bad as I thought.  With a little fine tuning and a lot of practice, I should soon be able to swim with ease. 

I'm also looking forward to having my own house.  I know I've mentioned it before, but got a glimpse of what it will be like to have my own piece of paradise.  The get together I mentioned earlier was at the Patterson's, a couple on our worship team.  Only a couple of miles from town, their home is tucked away in what feels like the middle of nowhere.  The house is a beautiful cabin surrounded by trees.  The have a pond with mini waterfalls; the sound of the water was refreshing.  I wish I could go back out there and just sit alone and listen to the water for a while.  Like the pretty spot off Cane Creek I drive by once in a while, this is another spot I can admire from afar.  I'm ready for my own sanctuary spot that I actually have access to.
 
I am learning… to swim properly.  Yeah, I know I just talked about it, but that was all I could think of.

A favorite quote (or two) for today... 

"Our churches are the Saviour's golden candelabra, and if they are to be lights in this dark world, they must have much holy oil.  Let us pray for ourselves, or ministers, and our churches that they may never lack oil for the light." - Charles Spurgeon

"It's difficult to love something [or someone] that makes you feel stupid" - Cresseda Cowell

One of my favorite things...  Favorite Psalms:  Psalm 51 and Psalm 150
 
A few plans for the rest of the week:   I'm off for Labor day, so I've got a four day work week.  I've got a doctor's appointment Wednesday.  I wish I didn't have to go.  I'm nowhere near where I planned to be and my doctor will be very disappointed.  I'm supposed to be getting together with some friends to watch the JSU Gamecocks play Auburn on Saturday.  Not sure what else I've got going this week.
 
And now for something totally different...


After our summer concert, I had decided that I needed to leave the Community Band alone for a while, plus I couldn't spare the gas to attend practice.  Fast forward a few months and our leader puts out an APB saying that they had no one in the percussion section and that they desperately needed someone to play because we have a concert coming up.  So I foolishly went to practice Tuesday night.  The first person I saw was Mr. Alpha Male sitting at the drumset.  WTH!?  I thought we had NOBODY to play. Why am I here?  Why do I get the feeling I'm being punked?  I won't be at practice this week because of work, but why should I even bother showing up at all?  This is getting ridiculous.
 
 
From Facebook:  J.Young shared: 
 
 
From Rick and Bubba's YouTube channel:
 




4 comments:

  1. I could say any number of things that would probably sound like platitudes to you, without my meaning them to, so I'll just say - prayers that things will ease up on you, soon! :)
    Hope you have a wonderful week.

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    Replies
    1. Thanks, Anita. Pray also that answers come. I don't want to do anything out of fear, but out of faith in the Lord Jesus.

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  2. I was drawn in my the graphic displayed on the Simple Woman's linky. Don't you just want to shout that at the top of your lungs almost daily??!! Ugh, so frustrating.

    But oh, your first paragraphs sound like pages written from my own life. I hate those times. And yet, I've come to realize that it's in those times ~ when I'm most desperate ~ that God seems the most real, even though nothing about my circumstances is changing the way I want it to. I don't wish for those weeks/months, but they're not quite the curse they once were. I hope you will taste the sweetness of close communion this week. ♥

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