Five Minute Friday: "Alone"

Our Mistress of Ceremonies for the Five Minute Friday is Kate over at Heading Home.  Hope you link up with us and join the fun.

GO! 

Oh why now?  Why today?  Why a prompt like that while I feel like I do?

You know, I just finished a book talking about how church is not about preferences so I feel like a hypocrite for writing this.  I'm having troubling finding a sense of community at church; the very place I should seek community.  With so much emphasis on "families and children first," I feel left out (yeah, I know, cry me a river).  Yes, families and children are extremely important, but I can't find my niche.  Seems like playing bass guitar isn't enough.  Though I'm playing with a team--and we sound awesome, by the way--I still feel isolated.  Mind you, the ball is in my court; I don't have time to blame someone else.  Like I said, I don't mind being a square peg in a world full of round holes, but don't square pegs need love, fellowship, and community too.  I don't want to just sit around and chew the fat, I want to get involved in helping.  What can I do to strengthen the families and children?

I've been afraid.  Afraid to reach out too much.  Afraid to ask questions.  I've got the idea to ask if there are any other stitchers in our congregation so we can get together to chat and work on service projects. There's bound to be some.  But wait, I have nowhere for us to meet, and what if I get embarrassed or rejected.  *sigh*  Maybe I'm just too demanding and selfish.

STOP!


I know we're supposed to be honest and shot straight from the hip for five minutes, but I grow weary of writing posts like this.  I'm sure you grow weary of reading them.  I feel like a world class hypocrite who just kicked God in the face.  I don't know what the balance is.  On one hand, God is supposed to be my all in all.  On the other, I'm supposed to be part of a community--to fellowship and obey the "one another's" in the Bible.  It has been said that no man is an island and that it is very unhealthy to be secluded (whether in body or in mind) and devoid of physical touch for extended periods of time.  But here I sit like the faithful old dog, hoping...just hoping.  For what?  I'm not sure.