Titters From the Twitter (and Other Places): May 2014

This month's titters from the Twitter (and other places).  Enjoy! 

 

 

04/30:  From Facebook:  T.Walker Shared: A joke heard from my 14 year old, Sarah:  What did one pants leg say to the other pants leg?

"What up Britches?!?"

05/01:  From Twitter:  @GeorgeTakei tweeted:

 05/05:  From Facebook:  R.Tompkins shared:

 

 

05/07:  From Twitter:  @LateLateShowCBS tweeted this (I love these maps):

 

05/07:  From Twitter:  @GeorgeTakei tweeted:

 

05/05:  From Facebook:  R.Tompkins shared:

 

05/07:  From Facebook:  R.Tompkins shared:

 

 05/08:  From Facebook:  S.Argrett shared:

  

05/09:  From Twitter:  @BenDukes tweeted:  The barrel of my 410 is also gluten free. Wanna stuff that in your mouth? #healthy

 

05/09:  From Facebook:  R.Johnson shared: "I just opened a shop named, 'It's The Thought That Counts.' It's full of totally useless gifts."

 

05/09:  From Facebook:  R. Helstrom shared:

 

Getting ready to do a wedding and I noticed a large group of people have been huddled around a door for a good while trying to pic a lock to a door that had accidentally been locked and shut.   I waited as long as I could and then walked up and asked, "Can I give it a try?

I think I was able to pic the lock in about 15 seconds...

 

Someone says, "Oh wow...that was fast...aren't you the pastor?"

 Me: "uh yeah...lucky first try"

Some things from my past never go to waste lol.  Grateful for His grace.

 

05/09:  From Facebook: D. Johnson shared:

 

05/13:  From Facebook:  D.Raulerson shared:  It happened again in less than a year. Threw some protein bars in the trash and now the racoons are bench pressing my neighbors Labrador retriever in the backyard.

 

05/13:  From Facebook:  P.Logsdon shared:

 

05/14:  From Facebook:  R.Tompkins shared:

 

05/15:  From Facebook:  R.Tompkins shared:

 

05/18:  From Facebook:  G. Ford shared:  The trust between a woman and her hair stylist is similar to the trust between a man and his proctologist.

 

05/18:  From Facebook:  I Shared: 

 

Repercussion -

Dictionary definition: an effect or result, often indirect or remote, of some event or action

Band nerd definition: hearing the drumline kick it again at the end of a game or performance

 

05/18:  From Facebook:  T. Kingston shared:

 

05/20:  From Twitter:  @JonAcuff tweeted:  The reason we have jerk 15 year olds is that sometimes we let 7 year olds be jerks & give them 8 years of practice.

 

05/22:  From Twitter:

 

Dr. Henry Cloud:  Usually, less flashy means less pain in the butt.

Me:  You talking people or underwear?

Dr. Henry Cloud:  yes!

 

05/28:  From Twitter:  @WomenSouthern tweeted:

 

05/30:  From Twitter:  @latweedle tweeted:

 

"She's red hot passion, he keeps a simple life, he's turned his back on her, but soon he'll swing round again"

05/30:  From Twitter:  @JonAcuff retweeted:  "People love butterflies, but hate moths. A butterfly is just a moth with one nice outfit. #superficial"

 

05/31:  From Facebook:  K.Dunaway shared: