Blog Challenge Day 02: You Have Nothing to Fear...OH YES YOU DO!

Blog challenge is from Can I Get Another Bottle of Whine

 



Day 2: Describe 3 legitimate fears you have and describe how they became fears.

The interstate

Bad floors - Since I was a child, I've had to endure going to homes (mostly mobile homes) that have soft floors, uneven floors, and floors with holes in them.  The big fear is that I'll fall through the floor.  Even now, if I walk into a place with a  questionable floor, I move as little as possible and am afraid of a crash the whole time.  I'm not even talking about a trailer now.  I can walk into a very well constructed home, but if the floor even creaks, I'm on pins and needles.

Being "S.O.L." - Have you ever had the same sleeping dream more than once?  I have.  If it were a good dream, that would be great, but oh no.  It's the same scenario, just with a slight twist each time.  In the dream, I am severely injured or deathly ill, but if I can get help, I'll live.  I've had heart attacks and strokes, been shot, stabbed, raped, and hit by a car in these dreams.   I'm coherent enough to try to call for help, but for some reason I never get anywhere.  I'm calling for a friend or 911 and can't get the numbers right.  I keep dialing and finally get someone, but they can't understand me and hang up, or worse yet, they think I'm playing on the phone and angrily hang up as I desperately try to explain. 

The worst one was the first time I had the dream.  I was in college and I guess the stress of it was getting to me.  I dreamt that I was having a heart attack and collapsed in front of Self Hall at JSU.  As I'm desperately trying to call out for help, my classmates and professors surround me, but instead of helping me, they point and laugh at me as I die.  

In each occurrence of the dream, just as I'm taking my last breath, I wake up, scared peeless. 

I'm not sure what the message is supposed to be here, but all I know is that if I'm going to die alone, I want to simply drop dead rather than endure hours of having help within reach, yet denied.  I don't want my last thought before I enter eternity to be "Lord, forgive me for being such a dirtbag that I've alienated everyone."

I find some comfort in the fact that some of the most mentally messed up people are also the most creative...