Dink It and Sink It (Eat Something That Scares You). [My Mythical Year]

For information on My Mythical Year click here.

I'm no stranger to food (my before pictures can attest to that).  What I am a stranger to is enjoying food.

Wait a minute.  How could you not enjoy food? We saw your before pictures. 

I know.  Shut up.

While The Book of Mythicality encourages the reader to eat something that scares them, my fears don't really revolve around certain foods.  I grew up very poor, so our only two menu choices were "take it" or "leave it."  I've eaten some Good Mythical Moring-worthy items such as pork chitterlings (chitlins), barbequed goat, and stew my dad made out of vegetables from our garden and offal he and mom got cheap from Bannister's Meat Processing.   So no, my struggle isn't with scary food, but fears that food represents itself.

Though I was heavy as a child, my struggle with emotional eating didn't start until high school.  In the process, food became a damaging drug, rather than a pleasant nourishing substance.  As I binged to try to numb my emotions, food was both love and hate simultaneously.  Eating alone at home wasn't that big of a problem.  However, eating out and/or with others was a big problem.

One word:  Embarrassment.

As I talked about here, one of my most painful mental traumas as a young girl revolved around food.  Lunchtime at school wasn't much better.  I hate to be embarrassed over food and try avoid it at all costs.  I try to avoid situations where I don't know what or how to order, or having to tell anyone that a menu is unreadable.  Look, I don't know too many people who can comfortably read a menu posted on the wall behind the counter of an eating establishment.  I sure can't. So, I eat the same thing at the same place (usually alone) so there's no embarrassment.  I'm also afraid to ask too many questions while trying to order.  I feel pushed into ordering quickly by others' impatience.  Plus, I don't like feeling as if I'm in someone else's way.  Wasting money on food I may not like is also a big concern, so I play it safe.

By the way, playing it safe doesn't alleviate fear; it only presses it down temporarily.  Fear pops up again and again until it's dealt with.

So, what did I do to conquer this and earn my Mythical Merit badge?  I decided to eat at five unfamiliar restaurants implementing these rules:

• If someone is accompanying me at the meal, I can't ask them for help or recommendations.  That's cheating.
• If the menu is unreadable, I must force myself to ask for a printed menu.  If there isn't one, I am required to ask the server or cashier questions so that I can make an informed choice.
• Prior internet research is permissible, but I cannot ask someone else what they order at a particular place.  Again, that's cheating.

First Stop:  Smashburger

I really enjoy a good burger and fries, so I thought this would be a good place to start.  It's not like typical fast food places like McDonald's where you can get by with blindly ordering a number one.  No, Smashburger  prides itself on being an atypical burger restaurant.  I ordered their classic cheeseburger, fries, and soft drink.

Pros: 

• A printed menu was available at the door, eliminating my need to ask for one.
• Friendly cashier

Cons: 

• Unreadable wall menu.  Thus the need for the printed menu.
• I found out later that not all the available choices were on the printed menu. 
• There were no prices on the printed menu so my order total was a complete shock.  I wasn't too thrilled that I ended up spending $11! 
• No matter how many times I told the cashier my name, she still didn't get it right when my order was up.  What is this, Starbucks?
• Though the cashier was friendly, the people preparing the food did NOT look happy.  I don't need sullen, snarly folks working on my food--at least not where I can see them.

What did I learn?

• The meal was good, but not $11 worth of good.
• I learned that I should have asked more questions.

Second Stop: Black Eyed Pea

I decided to have a nice Sunday dinner of Denver's version of homestyle cooking.  My order consisted of chicken fried steak, mashed potatoes, squash casserole, a roll, and an unsweet tea (sorry y'all, but sugar). 

Pros: 

• I was brave enough to ask my server if they pooled their tips.  I don't like sit-down restaurants that pool the server's tips.  It breeds mediocre service and horrible food.  Thankfully, my server said they didn't.
• My server was more than willing to answer questions and was very attentive.
• The chicken fried steak and mashed potatoes were excellent.

Cons: 

• Though my server was excellent, she did complain a bit about her manager not scheduling enough workers for a Sunday crowd.  I can't blame her though; she was right. 
• The squash casserole wasn't authentic.  It didn't contain any cheese or breaded crust, plus, it hadn't seen a lick of butter or salt.  It was more like sautéed squash and onions.  No.  Just.  No.

What did I learn?

• I learned a little more bravery in asking pertinent questions.

Third Stop:   TukTuk



I'm a fan of Americanized Asian food. So, I thought I'd try the Thai grill across the street from work. I ordered the Teriyaki Chicken and Vegetables with white rice.

Pros: 

• A printed menu was available at the door, eliminating my need to ask for one.
• The cashier was courteous.

Cons: 

• Another unreadable wall menu (who prints these things?).  Thus the need for the printed menu.
• Not many vegetables in the dish though the menu said there would be.  That one broccoli floret and cob of baby corn in the picture was it.
• They charge extra for brown rice. 

What did I learn?

• A little more bravery.  What to do with you empty dishes was unclear, so I did ask.  Any other time, I would have been afraid to ask for fear of looking stupid.

Fourth Stop:  Tokyo Joes

After the disappointment with Tuk-Tuk, I thought I'd try another Asian restaurant within walking distance of work.  Admittedly, I did eat at Tokyo Joes once, but someone else ordered for me.  I think this makes it unfamiliar enough to count.  I partook of the grilled chicken  and vegetables with brown rice and "Spicy-aki" sauce.  Yeah, I know, I order a lot of chicken.  I'm Southern.  Cut me some slack.  Sorry, the Ear Biscuit mug was not for sale there.  You have to buy that here.

Pros: 

• Uniquely, they had their menu on a window, so I didn't even have to deal with the wall menu inside.  All I had to do was move some chairs and study the menu as much as I wanted.  After studying it for a while, I confidently walked in and placed my order.

Cons: 

• I really can't think of anything.

What did I learn?

• Even more bravery.  The menu on the window was in their outdoor eating area.  It was the lunch hour, so there were many people enjoying an al fresco meal.  I could have chickened out because I didn't want a bunch of strangers looking at me, nor did I want a worker there to tell me I couldn't move their furniture around.  I know, it's weird. 

Fifth Stop: Rubios

(No photo.  My co-worker wouldn't have understood)

 

I'm going to keep this one short.  I was greeted again to an unreadable menu plus a barricade.  They had no printed menu and the cashier looked at me like I was an idiot for asking.  I think anger overrode fear with this encounter.  I went around the barricade so I could read the stupid menu and ordered.  I had to explain all this to the co-worker with whom I was having lunch.  All in all, the chicken burrito lunch special with a side of chips and salsa was good.

Bonus Round:  Starbucks

OK, I know that technically Starbucks isn't an eating establishment, however fear comes because ordering a drink there can be rather intimidating...and complicated:

Anyway...

I have friends who frequent Starbucks more than I frequent the public library and they can order like nobody's business.  Me?  The few times I've partaken of a Starbucks liquid concoctions, I've either had a gift card, or needed something warm to drink while I finished my cold winter treks home from the bus stop or grocery store.  My friends sound like chemical engineers when they order.  Me?  For fear of sounding like an idiot, I order the same thing every visit; a short chai tea latte.  As a side note:  the only reason I knew about those was due to a friend turning me on to Oregon Chai's tea latte mix. 

Yeah, boring.  But as we've already established, I don't like to be embarrassed over food, so ordering the same thing was very safe.

So, how did I break the cycle of fear and boredom?  I did some research beforehand.  My findings show that the main criteria to set before ordering are:

• Cravings
• Size (and thus, price)
• Liquid base (milk, coffee, etc.)
• Flavors to add to the liquid base
• Caffeine content (does it have espresso in it?)

It's was "short," but it
was good.

I was craving coffee, but not an overabundance of caffeine. As far as size goes, I always order a "short" because I'm cheap (plus my gift card only had $5.00 on it).  I didn't want what flavor was "in" at the moment--the Pumpkin Spice Latte (I can't stand the taste of pumpkin spice).  My research brought me to the Caramel Macchiato; a good combination of a little bit of coffee and a little bit of sweetness.  I confidently gave my order to the barista.  I say "confidently" because she didn't look at me like I was crazy. 

I will say that I would have enjoyed my order more if I'd known I needed to stir the drink before partaking.  All the sweetness and flavor were at the bottom.  I'll know better when I get one again...and I will.

So, maybe I can now confidently "dink it and sink it."

(Again, I'll post a pic of my badge when it arrives.  Sorry to complain, but it really shouldn't take so long just to ship something from Texas to Colorado. Good gravy!)