I was at the doctor's office yesterday filling out paperwork. New to the mix is a mental health questionnaire. Though there wasn't a lot of margin for answer clarity, I answered the questions as honestly as I could.
Big mistake.
Why didn't I just answer "no" to everything?
After I had my vitals taken and got comfortable waiting for the doctor in the examination room, a nurse came in and asked me was I OK. "Sure," I said. "O...K," she said as she wagged my paperwork at me. "I'm just concerned that you're depressed."
First, a disclaimer, the questions are VERY general and don't give the patient a way to explain. Second, it's not secret that I do deal with depression, but it had been several weeks since I had any such dark thoughts. As I said, I had no way to explain that.
Anyway...
I had hard time not laughing at the nurse and saying the following:
So you think I'm depressed? Alrighty, you put me on a scale that weighed me SEVEN pounds heaver than my scale at home. Your blood pressure monitor took THREE tries before it displayed a reading that was MUCH higher than the one I took a few hours earlier. I've been on meds that made me sicker than if I hadn't taken them at all. You put me in a cold room with magazines from 1997 and won't let me pee. I SHOULD to be depressed!Have mercy!
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Prompts provided by Mrs. Kate over at Heading Home.
What a wonderful response even though you wisely (I guess) refrained from speaking it aloud. Perhaps next time...
ReplyDeleteVisiting from 5 Minute Friday
Yes, I bit my tongue until she left. I almost wished I hadn't. :)
DeleteToo funny, Shannon. My daughter recently coached her son on answering "no" to some of those questions as he is now at an age when he is required to answer the doctor's questions by himself. We train our kids to give us details and speech freely with us and then we have to coach them on how to handle the intrusive general questions others will ask them and judge them by. -Alice from 18 on FMF.
ReplyDeleteI don't mind being honest, but give some space for explanation. As I say, "Some people's children." :)
DeleteI enjoyed your post and I relate to your response. If I'm not stressed when I go in to the doctor's I will be by the time I come out! Visiting from FMF#32.
ReplyDeleteOh, Lord, yes. Almost as if it were designed that way.
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