Alone. That word just thuds in my innards like a brick. My problem is that I confuse the words alone and lonely. Alone simply means "separate, apart, or isolated from others." Lonely means "affected with, characterized by, or causing a depressing feeling of being alone; lonesome; destitute of sympathetic or friendly companionship, intercourse, support, etc." As much as I like being alone for a time, I fear being totally alone –or lonely. I can’t stand the thought of being "destitute of sympathetic or friendly companionship." I’ve been there far too long to ever want to go back.
I want to experience what it’s like to "be alone, yet not alone. You’re never alone as long as you’ve got God." I don’t want those to be trite sayings people use as an excuse to brush me off and not be bothered. I want it to mean something. Joyce Meyer calls it "the silent years." My silent years have lasted for meaningless decades.
What am I "taken up with"? What stands in the way of having true alone time with God?
- I don’t live alone, but if I’m quiet about it, I can have that time.
- But what if what I’m experiencing doesn’t call for quiet?
- My first reach in the morning is for my computer to feel some connection to someone. I need to try connecting with the Almighty first. Rick Warren talked about this very thing in his podcast last week.
- I’m still so obsessed with doing that I don’t know how to just "be." That feels so lazy to me. I heard Kenneth Copeland say that a person could get a lot more done when it’s time to work if he spent that still time with God first thing every day. I really need to put it to a true test.
- Perfectionism. Is there really a wrong way to do quiet time? Has this supposed "spirit of excellence" requirement crept even into how I should spend time with God? Is there a perfect time, song, scripture, position, book, prayer that will ensure I’ve done this right and done it enough?
Are we alone with him now, or are we taken up with little fussy notions, fussy comradeships in God’s service, fussy ideas about our bodies? Jesus can expound nothing until we get through all the noise questions of the head and are alone with Him,Am I so longing for fellowship with others that I neglect the true fellowship with the Savior? Am I so striving for the wealth of earthly companionship that I ignore the true riches of friendship with God?
This must change.