Thursday, October 9, 2014

Meltdown Challenge: Day 04

I thought it was just me, but seems like everyone in the challenge who's willing to be truthful is having a hard time this week.  Seems like no one is getting any sleep.  I had a hard time getting to sleep last night and got up late today.  Yesterday's stress didn't help matters either.

Of course, Miss "Danny Jr." is telling everyone what they should do, while not telling us anything about what's going on with her.  I'll be glad when she settles down.

2 pm:  Well looks like she's going to be even worse.  Someone brought it up on the challenge wall as a positive and people are gung-ho about it.  I'm trying not to be a horse's butt by saying it's actually getting on my nerves.  

I've got to remember that God is my coach and I need to constantly check in with Him.  Since this thing started, I've been going off half cocked and trying to handle things myself.  If I keep that up, I'll get the same dismal results I always get when I try to go it alone.

This morning's reading was about calorie counting.  I'm aiming to eat better, but I really don't want to start the obsession with calorie numbers.  As a recovering food addict, I am already fighting food obsession.  Counting calories would only make it worse.  Ever bite I ate would be laced with fear.  I'd either go the other way and get into eating disorder behavior or just say screw it and eat myself to death.  No thanks. 

The food pushing has eased off significantly today.  (Thank You, Jesus.)  Now the problem I'm dealing with is nausea.  It's back again in full force.  I'm having to make myself eat today.  No headache, just a queasy tummy that doesn't want anything.  That may be wonderful for weight loss, but not so good for maintaining energy and lasting results.  I'm going on a bike ride tomorrow and I've got to have more energy that a limp dishrag.

I wonder if we're allowed to have Gatorade?  Even if not, I'm going to anyway.

This is ridiculous.  I got in the car to go walk at the trail and my car won't start.  What is the point?  I think I'm going to explode.

I'm going to bed.  It's the best place for me.

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