Friday, August 1, 2014

Titters From the Twitter (and Other Places): July 2014

This month's titters from the Twitter (and other places).  Enjoy! 

07/04:  From Twitter:  @sdmadd1 tweeted:  "Is it wrong of me to want every person who shoots fireworks into traffic to have to hold a lit M-80 in his butt cheeks? "

07/05:  From Facebook:  S.Maddox shared:  "ATTENTION GOOBERS: Now hear this: Independence day was YESTERDAY!. Shooting fireworks now isn't a celebration; it just proves you are drunk and bored. GO TO BED AND CUT IT OUT! Love, Auntie."

07/12:  From Pinterest:  A.Raulerson pinned: 

07/14:  From a book I was reading:  "I don't think that any male in my life would claim that I harbor repressed anger at his gender.  (And if he did, I have a mind to hit him square in the middle of his forehead with a slingshot and a bottle of Midol.)" - Beth Moore, from her book So Long Insecurity.

07/14:  From Facebook:  R.Tompkins shared:  "I love the internet!! Part fantasy... Part community... And you get to pay your bills naked." - Stockard Channing

07/15:  From Facebook:  S.Maddox shared:  "For all my grammar nerds: Would the word "fart" constitute an onomatopoeia?"

07/15:  From Twitter:  @Derfboy tweeted:  "Crap! I just ate an entire jar of chunky salsa for lunch...wait, reverse that."

07/16:  From Facebook:  D.Traywick shared:  "Mental Note #045: When sending a text message to your wife, ensure that if the word 'now' appears at the end of the sentence that it is not autocorrected to 'cow.' ‪#‎MyPhoneWantsMeDead"

07/19:  From Twitter:  @JonAcuff tweeted:  "[I] bet a reality show called "Heaven's Kitchen," would just be footage of angels serving people manna & queso."

07/20:  From Twitter:  @JennyAcuff:  "So called me out on twitter for not seeing movies when I was young. I guess I was busy doing this thing called 'reading books.'"

07/20:  From YouTube:  Weird Al Yankovic's new video:

07/22:  From YouTube:  "You know, there's a company that's developed a laser scanning device that tells you how many calories are in your food. I already have a device that tells me if I'm eating too many calories; it's called my a$$" - Craig Ferguson

07/25:  From Twitter:  @  tweeted:

07/26:  From Facebook:  D.Raulerson shared:  "If you read the instructions carefully, the first step to making ANY microwaveable meal is to throw away the box and then dig it out of the trash."

07/28:  From Facebook:  @Shlomo tweeted: 

07/28:  From Facebook:  T.Harper shared:

07/29:  From Facebook:  R.Tompkins shared:

07/30:  From YouTube:  The newest from the Southern Women Channel

07/31:  From Facebook:  K.Tierce shared:

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