Sunday, December 1, 2013

Titters from the Twitter (& Other Places): November 2013

It's no secret that I love to laugh and make others pee in their pants with hilarity (or at least not look at me like I'm stupid when I crack a joke).  The internet has given me a plethora of material; from quotes, to videos, to tweets and Facebook posts.  I stole borrowed the idea for sharing them from Can I Get Another Bottle of Whine.  So, please enjoy my top titters from the Twitter (& other places) for November 2013:
  • From Facebook:  Freda A'MajorWoman said:  "This dude just said drk skinned girls wit green contacts look like Xbox's!!!!!#DEAD" 11/01
  • From Twitter:  @CraigyFerg said:   "My youngest son just told me he wants to drive a monster truck and solve crimes. "  11/03
  • From Twitter:  @HonestToddler said:  "In my defense, you said 'clear your plate' but you never said how." 11/11
  • From Twitter:  @bgrhubarb retweeted "I think I have become so soft living in California that I was beaten up by a cookie" - Craig Ferguson 11/12
  • From Twitter - @HonestToddler said: "I feel sorry for Bert (from Sesame Street). You can tell he'd do anything to have his own place." 11/13
  • From Twitter - @JeffBryanDavis said:  "Developing a jukebox that, when approached by men in backwards ball caps and tank tops, emits nonlethal voltage, then plays something good."  11/13
  • From Twitter:  @bgrhubarb retweeted:  "If it weren't for charity solicitations I wouldn't have 60,000 return address stickers for the 3 pieces of paper mail I send each year."  11/17
  • From Facebook T. Walker shared: 11/17

  • From Twitter @bgrhubarb retweeted::  "Fun Fact: 100% of people don't know what to do with a dirty dish at someone else's house."
  • From Facebook D. Helstrom shared:  "Everyone should have kids. They're the greatest joy in the world. But they're also terrorists. You'll realize this as soon as they're born and they start using sleep deprivation to break you." – Ray Romano  11/18
  • From Twitter:  @FakeESPN said:  Official NFL Procedures: 1. throw flag 2. have conference 3. call vegas 4. pick up flag 5. announce no penalty
  • From Twitter:  @bgrhubarb retweeted:  "Nose still stuffy & I can't taste a lot. Now drinking coffee + milk of indeterminable best before date. Danger is my middle name." 11/22
  • From YouTube:  Ok is this cheating a bit because this video is from May, but I thought this comedian and his interview were funny.  I watched it on 11/22--does that count? It's here:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yBRL0msR6wo
  • From Twitter:  @LollipopTheater tweeted:  "When something goes wrong in your life, just yell, 'Plot twist!' and move on."   11/23
  • From Twitter:  @sdmadd1 (that's me BTW) tweeted:  "Most over used word on YouTube: EPIC. "  11/23
  • From Facebook:  "[During your holiday meal] if somebody says something to you about how much you're eating or 'Ooh, what happened to your diet?' PUNCH THEM IN THE THROAT." - Daniel and Kelly from FitnessBlender.com  11/26
  • From Twitter:  @DrHenryCloud tweeted:  "Tip: Thanksgiving Dinner is probably not the best venue to confront issues existing four decades. Enjoy your turkey and talk to the turkeys later."  11/27
  • From Facebook:  D.Raulerson said:  "Pop up ads are the Jehovah's Witnesses of the internet."  11/27
  • From Twitter:  @sdmadd1 tweeted:  "Definition of shell shocked - Trying to drink whole milk after drinking skim milk for almost a year."  #WhoaDude 11/27
  • From YouTube:  Iron Bowl trash talk from the Rick and Bubba Show.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d0kvxZkP3zo  (had to post the link because Blogger's YouTube search engine isn't working well).
  • From Twitter:  @sdmadd1 tweeted:  Dictionary word: addlepated. The way we in the South would say it: "He ain't right."  11/28
  • From Twitter:  @MHarper   retweeted:  "Clark Kent had to call himself 'Superman' because 'CJ Mosley' was already taken."   11/29
  • From Twitter:  @sdmadd1 tweeted:  "YouTube needs to change its name to 'Commercial followed by six seconds of the video you really wanted to see.'"  #WTC #FreezeFrame  11/30

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