First Line Friday #26: Self-Compassion by Kristin Neff

Thanks to Carrie at
Reading is My Superpower
for the Link-up

 

 

Title:  Self-Compassion
Author:  Krisin Neff
Genre:  Psychology/Mental Health

  〰First Line〰

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This kind of compulsive concern with I, me and mine isn't the same as loving ourselves.

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Synopsis:  (From Goodreads) 

The relentless pursuit of high self-esteem has become a virtual religion. Our ultracompetitive culture tells us we need to be constantly above average to feel good about ourselves, but there is always someone more attractive, successful, or intelligent than we are. And even when we do manage to grab hold of high self-esteem for a brief moment, we can't seem to keep it. Our sense of self-worth goes up and down like a Ping-Pong ball, rising and falling in lockstep with our latest success or failure.

Fortunately, there is an alternative to self-esteem that many experts believe is a better and more effective path to happiness: self-compassion. The research of Dr. Kristin Neff and other leading psychologists indicates that people who are compassionate toward their failings and imperfections experience greater well-being than those who repeatedly judge themselves. This book powerfully demonstrates why it's so important to be self-compassionate and give yourself the same caring support you'd give to a good friend.

Using solid empirical research, personal stories, practical exercises, and humor, Dr. Neff—the world's foremost expert on self-compassion—explains how to heal destructive emotional patterns so that you can be healthier, happier, and more effective.

 〰First Thoughts〰

Over my Christmas break, I've been finishing up a couple of books by leadership expert John C. Maxwell.  In one of the volumes, Maxwell makes the point that if a leader has little to no self-compassion, leading with care and concern for others will be downright impossible, and recommends Neff's book for a deeper dive into the subject.  My hope for this book is that it truly explains self-compassion, the psychological and relational ramifications of the lack of it, and well-studied and practiced strategies for how to walk in less harshness with oneself.  My fear is that it will be a rambling, let's fill a page with platitudes and little information type of book.  We'll see.

So, what's the first line of the book you're currently reading?

Days 27-33 - Mad-Libs: The Weekly Digest [40 Days of Gratitude 2024]

 

Looking out the window....The winter temps are soon to return, but today is sunny, bright, and pleasant.

 
A cool experience... 

Colorado Community Church's "Carols and Candlelight" Christmas Eve service is always a cool experience for me.  However, this year's segment for the kids was so fun.  The Worship Arts team livestreamed the service, but there isn't a saved copy on the website--otherwise I would share it with you.  "Clarence the Angel" played a little game of Mad-Libs with the children in the audience.  He asked them for certain words (actions, animals, toys, etc.) then combined them to make a funny Christmas carol.  It was so cute.

Favorite quote(s) of the week...

Denial, after all, is what kills dreams.  It kills hope.  It kills what might have been a real chance to overcome a problem had the solution just been pursued in time. - Dr. Phillip C. McGraw, Life Strategies, p. 87.

I wanted to think about myself so I could forget myself. - Gretchen Rubin, The Happiness Project, Getting Started section.

I'm thinking about...

UPDATE: I mentioned in this post that I was considering investing in therapy.  I finally bit the bullet and asked a clinician friend at church for a recommendation.  He has a colleague closer to my end of town who he believes would be a good fit for me.  After having an initial consultation with her over the phone, I made an appointment for January 9th (weather permitting).  Let's see how this goes.

What I read this week...

• Good Leaders ask Great Questions by John C. Maxwell  ✮✮✮
• The Legend of the Monk and the Merchant by Terry Felber ✮✮✮✮
• The Last Battle by C. S. Lewis  ✮✮✮

I'm currently reading...

• A Year of C. S. Lewis by C. S. Lewis
• Lectures to My Students by Charles Spurgeon
• God is in the Manger by Dietrich Bonhoeffer 
• High Road Leadership by John C. Maxwell
  

This week's blog posts...

• None this week..

I am thankful for...

• A solid two weeks off from work.
• A fun time shopping and being goofy at IKEA with friends..
• Good weather so that I could make it to Christmas Eve service.
• Spending Christmas Eve with my church family.
• A nice quiet Christmas
• Getting to attend all three days of the quilting retreat with my friends at Grace Fellowship.
• My recent purchases to add to my travel quilting kit: a mini iron, a pressing mat, and an LED light strip for my sewing machine.
• All the wonderful gifts and cards I received for Christmas.
  

From the Workshop...

Please see my latest Aunties Workshop blog post here

 

 

Days 21-26 - Don't Look at Me: The Weekly Digest [40 Days of Gratitude 2024]

 

Looking out the window....

I'm thoroughly enjoying the mild weather here in Colorado.  I know that the colder "real" winter weather is coming, but for now I've got the windows down and blasting happy music as I drive and sing along.

 
A cool experience...Our administrative assistants' fellowship group, Gatekeepers LTD, had their annual Christmas lunch.  One of our admins has a six-month-old daughter.  While mama ate, I got to hold sweet baby Jordan.  It was fun getting to be the "baby whisperer" for nearly 20 minutes. 

Favorite quote(s) of the week...

On the pronunciation of the word pecan (pəˈkän):  "Pee-can" is what you use when you ain't got no indoor toilet."- Auntie

Don't be jealous of what some else has if you don't want to do what they did to get it. - Joyce Meyer, The Power of Thank You, p. 152.

Leadership is the ability to add value to others. - John C. Maxwell

I'm thinking about...

I've nearly completed my 25 for 2025 list.  Now on to the 2025 Happier challenge put out by Gretchen Rubin and the one word for this season in my life.  Last week, the Happier podcast issued the 2025 challenge:  Read 25 in 2025.  The goal is to read for at least 25 minutes a day.  I really enjoyed the Write 24 in 2024 challenge this year because it made me focus more on my daily journaling practice.  The problem with this new challenge is that it isn't a challenge for me.  Nearly every day I read for at least 30 minutes  (more when I have time).  Books in all forms are already a part of my daily routine. So what 25 "thing" can I substitute for this challenge?  Maybe Write 25 in 2025, but focus on creative writing like blogs and books.  It's a thought.

What I read this week...

• The Power of Thank You by Joyce Meyer ✮✮✮
• The Voyage of the Dawn Treader by C. S. Lewis ✮✮✮
• The Silver Chair by C. S. Lewis ✮✮✮

I'm currently reading...

• A Year of C. S. Lewis by C. S. Lewis
• Lectures to My Students by Charles Spurgeon
• God is in the Manger by Dietrich Bonhoeffer
  
• Good Leaders Ask Great Questions by John C. Maxwell

This week's blog posts...

• If at First You Don't Succeed:  The Weekly Hodgepodge is here.

 I am thankful for...

• Rubber tips on new gel pins to keep them from leaking.
• Coffee.
• Mug/candle warmers
• Babies
• Our Gatekeepers LTD group at work.
• All the beautiful Christmas cards I've received so far.
• Being in the Christmas spirit this year.
• Kind delivery drivers who actually read and follow directions.
• Fun co-workers who have become forever friends.
• 
  I'm thankful that the college deans I work for/with aren't very "dean-ly."  Don't get me wrong, they are distinguished, respected, and knowledgeable.  However, they are not academic stuffed shirts who have no sense of humor.  Quite the opposite. 
• The quilt journal I was given for Christmas last year.  I've enjoyed chronicling the quilts and quilt tops I've finished.
• Mild weather.
• Good neighbors.
• The fun of watching squirrels chase each other up a tree.
• The convenience of an on-site laundry room.
• Old fashioned gospel tracts. 
  

From the Workshop...

Please see my latest Aunties Workshop blog post here