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For Today: Sunday, February 18, 2018
I am thinking...
I'm pondering the words of a song from today's worship service. (Listen to it here if you'd like). I couldn't get past the first line, "There's beauty in my brokenness." Let me establish that I'm not criticizing the song itself at all. This is my difficulty.
I see no beauty in brokenness. The last time I broke something, it was not beautiful. I broke one of my favorite coffee mugs and it was not pretty. In fact, it got downright ugly.
No parent in his right mind would look at the brokenness of his child and think "Oh, how lovely. My child is broken and suffering and struggling. I love the sight of it." No, that parent would do anything in their power to alleviate the pain and mend the brokenness. I just can't see our Heavenly Father finding beauty and joy in my brokenness. There are still layers of my life being peeled away and more brokenness found to deal with and be rid of...not to admire like beautiful piece of art. I don't want to keep looking at it; why would anyone else want to?
No, this isn't the first time I've heard such a phrase. In Celebrate Recovery, they are fond of saying that God never wastes a hurt. I've yet to see where my brokenness has been a beauty to someone else, or my hurts being a help, rather than a hindrance to my growth and the growth of others.
The rest of the song was great, but I couldn't get away from the first line. All I could do was weep in despair. The line was simply another reminder of all that I am not, but should be. It was a rebuke that I should be helping others in their pain. I can't even help myself out of the driveway!
Maybe the squirrely feeling I talked about earlier this year is how I deserve to feel. After all, I'm not doing everything I'm called to do. However, I can't let the feeling lead me into doing something rash and unwise out of fear.
I don't know.
I am thankful... for Father God continuing to show me His love despite my brokenness.
I see no beauty in brokenness. The last time I broke something, it was not beautiful. I broke one of my favorite coffee mugs and it was not pretty. In fact, it got downright ugly.
No parent in his right mind would look at the brokenness of his child and think "Oh, how lovely. My child is broken and suffering and struggling. I love the sight of it." No, that parent would do anything in their power to alleviate the pain and mend the brokenness. I just can't see our Heavenly Father finding beauty and joy in my brokenness. There are still layers of my life being peeled away and more brokenness found to deal with and be rid of...not to admire like beautiful piece of art. I don't want to keep looking at it; why would anyone else want to?
No, this isn't the first time I've heard such a phrase. In Celebrate Recovery, they are fond of saying that God never wastes a hurt. I've yet to see where my brokenness has been a beauty to someone else, or my hurts being a help, rather than a hindrance to my growth and the growth of others.
The rest of the song was great, but I couldn't get away from the first line. All I could do was weep in despair. The line was simply another reminder of all that I am not, but should be. It was a rebuke that I should be helping others in their pain. I can't even help myself out of the driveway!
Maybe the squirrely feeling I talked about earlier this year is how I deserve to feel. After all, I'm not doing everything I'm called to do. However, I can't let the feeling lead me into doing something rash and unwise out of fear.
I don't know.
I am thankful... for Father God continuing to show me His love despite my brokenness.
After nearly 20 years of painting, Auntie is in need of new inspiration. I've seen several new painting books I'd like to purchase, but since they're not in the budget at present (Thank you, Mr. Ramsey), I had to dig deeper for some inspiration.
Inspired by the book The Turquoise Table by Kristin Schell, I made these turquoise placemats to adorn my dining table. This is my first step in decorating my dining area. More to come in the next few months.
I saw an art piece similar to this in a decorating magazine and thought I'd try it. I painted this one completely free hand. I'm very pleased with it. This one is on an 11 x 14 canvas. I'm thinking of trying it again on a 16 x 20, or even an 18 x 24 if I'm feeling froggy (and the canvas is on sale).
The front cover of another magazine inspired this piece.
I painted this one before, but decided to tackle it again.
My girl over at Paintology 101 has posted some paintings I plan to try. There are also some favorite paintings I've done in the past that I want to see if I can improve on. I'll continue to look around for more inspiration. I usually find it in the oddest places.
I'm still working on getting the supplies necessary to finish the large project I started last month.
I am reading...
- I Thought it Was Just Me by Brene Brown.
- The Greatest Thing in the World and Other Addresses by Henry Drummond.
Books I've read since my last Daybook
I am learning...that I need to pay attention to high altitude cooking directions. Yeah, I know, I've been in Colorado since August and it's just now dawned on me.
- Julius Caesar by William Shakespeare.
- To Be Where You Are by Jan Karon.
- Narrative of the Life of Frederick Douglass by Frederick Douglass. I read this last year, but reread it this month. My review is here.
- My Bondage and My Freedom by Frederick Douglass.
- Acres of Diamonds by Russell Conwell. The review is here.
I am learning...that I need to pay attention to high altitude cooking directions. Yeah, I know, I've been in Colorado since August and it's just now dawned on me.
Favorite quote(s) of the week:
"Most of the things your mother told you are true. Disregard the part about eating liver to live longer; it's not worth it." - Lewis Grizzard
“I was raised to believe that excellence is the best deterrent to racism or sexism. And that’s how I operate my life.” - Oprah Winfrey
"Some people are so dumb they make my head hurt!" - Auntie's Musings.
I am looking forward to... spring, having a car, and getting my place "company ready."
"Most of the things your mother told you are true. Disregard the part about eating liver to live longer; it's not worth it." - Lewis Grizzard
“Be ready. Be qualified. Own something. Be somebody. That’s black power.” - James Brown
“I was raised to believe that excellence is the best deterrent to racism or sexism. And that’s how I operate my life.” - Oprah Winfrey
"Some people are so dumb they make my head hurt!" - Auntie's Musings.
I am looking forward to... spring, having a car, and getting my place "company ready."
Thank you Shannon for sharing your Daybook. I also have needed to pay attention to high altitude directions. We moved from a beach city in California a rural high altitude town in Arizona and wow what an adjustment!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Regina. It's not been drastic, but when it says to add extra water to a recipe, they mean it.
DeleteI agree with you about "brokenness." The only thing I could think of was maybe our brokenness is beautiful to God when it causes us to turn to Him and not rely on ourselves. I enjoyed your day book - good job on your paintings. You should do a tutorial on your placemats - they're awesome!
ReplyDeleteThanks.
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