Book: When My Love Returns From the Ladies Room, Will I Be Too Old to Care?Author: Lewis Grizzard
Info: Copyright 1987: New York: Villard Books.
Where acquired: Audio Library check out.
Rating (on a scale of 1-4 stars): ✮✭✭✭
Category: Glorious Rereads. The first time I read this book was in high school a few years after being introduced to the works of Grizzard by Mr. Godsdin, my 8th grade English teacher.
What it's about: In a collection of various columns from The Atlanta Journal Constitution, Grizzard humorously covers such topics as flying, eating out, women, and nostalgia.
Favorite Quotes:
On telemarketers: "So do it, folks. Call the jerks back when the computer calls you and tell them to leave you the hell alone. If that doesn't work, find out who's in charge, get his or her phone number, and then call them at two in the morning and ask them if they would like to buy a mule."
On electric hair dryers: "I figure I have spent five minutes every morning for the past five years blow drying my hair. That is six days of my life spent with Flash Gordon's ray gun pointed at my brain, which probably has windburn by now....I threw my electric hair dryer in the garbage, along with my banana cream rinse someone said would give my hair body. I don't want body. I also tossed my shampoo that smells like blossoming apricots. The fragrance of blossoming apricots is for girls, and boys who drink whiskey sours and eat the cherries."
On his mother: "I remember those hands so vividly. They were warm, loving hands that could turn into lethal weapons when applied forcefully to my backside."
On his friend the entrepreneur: "I'm not saying Rigsby often comes up with half-baked ideas that are supposed to make him a fortune and never do, but he's the same guy who tried to start a fast food franchise that featured 'burger on a rope.'"
On travel: "New Orleans, I might add, is still here after hosting the Super Bowl and the annual showcase for mental illness known as Mardi Gras."
What I Liked:
- Grizzard's stories had me laughing through the entire book.
- He has a way of going from humor to a touch of nostalgia at the turn of a page.
- I enjoyed his baseball stories. Like him, I also enjoyed watching baseball with my father.
- The only thing I didn't like was that he lumped all TV preachers together in the same boat. However, I will give him a pass on that since at the time, all he ever saw was the mess going on with Jim Baker and Jerry Falwell.
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