Thursday, October 16, 2014

Meltdown Challenge: Day 11

For the first time in a while, I got a really good night's sleep.  However, I couldn't drag myself out of bed until almost 10 a.m.  With my schedule thrown off and some extra chaos at the house, I made a couple of bad choices.

Roommate and I went grocery shopping today.  She offered to buy me a plate at the Wal-Mart deli.  I knew I should have said no, but I was so tired and really not in the mood to cook.  So, I foolishly said yes.  I looked for healthy options, but who was I kidding?  That poor girl behind the counter couldn't know baked chicken if it slapped her in the face.  The meal I chose gave me bad indigestion, plus, I've felt greasy all evening.  **burp**  My only consolation is that other than the blackberries and cottage cheese I ate for breakfast, that's all I've had today.  I need to remember this the next time temptation comes my way.

I've been watching some back episodes of The Biggest Loser.  Financial guru Suzie Orman was on an episode.  My financial guru is normally Dave Ramsey, but Orman said something that made me think.  She said that people spend more than because they feel less than.  I never really had a lot to spend, but I eat more than when I feel less than.   It's as if I am punishing myself for not being good enough--slowly committing suicide to get out of the way of the good enough people (whoever they are).  But is that really what I want?  Is that what God put me on this earth for?  No, there is so much more to life than that.  I will keep fighting to find out what that is.

So, I press on and try again tomorrow.

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