The Lord your God is in the midst of you, a Mighty One, a Savior [Who saves]! He will rejoice over you with joy; He will rest [in silent satisfaction] and in His love He will be silent and make no mention [of past sins, or even recall them]; He will exult over you with singing.
Zephaniah 3:17 (Amplified Version)
Today, I started reading Joyce Meyer's book God is Not Mad at You. I've only gotten through the introduction and chapter one but I'm already getting a better understanding of God's love. Or better yet, a refreshing of God's love.
If I didn't know any better, I'd swear Joyce Meyer lives in my head. She says on page 11 "I believed that God loved me in some sort of general impersonal way, but I did not know the fierce, fiery, all consuming love that God has for His children." I've been a Christ follower for 28 years. I gave my heart to Him because of His unconditional love. I thrived on His love, shared His love--then started believing that his love was for everyone but me. I had that same mentality of "impersonal" love and disappointment. I knew that God's love wasn't like that for the non-believer, but once I became a believer, I figured God was easier to displease. After all, shouldn't I know better?
My fear that God is mad at and disappointed in me is rooted in a lack of belief about God's personal love for me. If I believe that God's love is general, not personal, then that means He could miss somebody; and that somebody would always be me. It's kind of like the husband sitting on the couch watching the game. His wife says "I love you." He clicks the remote to ESPN 14 and impassively says, "Yeah, I love you too." (That is not a sexist statement; if I were married, I'd be the wife sitting on the couch watching Braves baseball or Alabama football saying "Yeah, I love you too. ROLL TIDE!") There's no intimacy, no passion, only general lip service. God is not like that. His love is for all and for one person at a time.