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I'm living in two refrains in life right now. In music a refrain is a repeated portion of a composition. In modern music, it is usually the chorus of a song. Refrains are a good thing to help us remember a song. Refrain can also be a bad thing when a song gets stuck in your head, especially if it isn't song you particularly like.
Don't you hate that?
Well, I've got the "Covid-19 Blues" playing in my head over and over until I want to scream, vomit and throw things! The refrain of "Social distance! Wear a mask! Wash your hands! Fear! Fear! FEAR!" is being sung by everyone everywhere I go. I can't enjoy anything because this refrain has permeated everything. My friends who are treating this like some sort of paradise because, according to them, they don't have to deal with people, and telling me I should feel the same way need to have their attention gotten with a 2 x 4! They have spouses, roommates, kids, or parents --built-in community in house. They are not truly solitary. Extended solitude is not healthy for anyone's psyche. And yet, the song continues to play with the bridge of "We don't give a s%@t and everyone else should just get over it!"
The other refrain I'm living with is a refusal to participate. We've gone through two cycles of the Eucharist at our church online. We were urged to take communion at home. The Eucharist is a sacrament best taken in the context of community. Taking it alone seems so wrong and lonely. Jesus said in Matthew 26:29, "I tell you, I will not drink from this fruit of the vine from now on until that day when I drink it new with you in my Father’s kingdom.” I will refrain from the Eucharist until I can partake with my brothers and sisters before God in worship.
When that day will be, I don't know. Our pastor indicated to us that even when we can start meeting again, we'll still have to social distance and wear masks! Being alone in a room full of people with no real contact or community would do nothing but deepen the despair and the damaging isolation. Again, I must refrain. Or, as we say back home, "I ain't doin' it!"
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