I spy with my little eye something that is...FLAWED! Every time I look in the mirror, I look at all that is wrong with me. My vision is that of an inspector looking for any "spot or wrinkle" to pounce on. My inner dialogue...well, and my outer monologue... is that of a brutal taskmaster who says, "Look at you! What a waste! What's wrong with you! Fix this! Fix that! Get yourself together! Time is short! Hurry, hurry, hurry!" The pressure is overwhelming.
My own warped vision has put me in a very dangerous depressive place mentally. It gotten me to see only the bad, the flawed, the not good enough. I think my own warped seeing has been what's caused me to sabotage my own healthy efforts. No, I don't think it is; I KNOW it is. "For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he..." (Proverbs 23:7).
It's going to take some doing.to change my mind. It's going to take momentous mental energy to on purpose see the good, the little areas of progress, to actually enjoy the journey instead of constantly saying "I'll be happy when..."
If you would like to join in and post your own Daybook, please head on over to visit Peggy at The Simple Woman's Daybook
For Today: Wednesday, January 8, 2014
Outside my window … After several days of below freezing temperatures we had a "balmy" 45 degree day.
Praising God for… Provision.
In prayer for... the upcoming year. I want it to be a zillion times better than 2013.
I am thinking... about where do I go from here and how do I get there?
I am thankful... that I have a warm place to live
In the kitchen...Nothing, it's late. I have no idea about tomorrow. I'm so bored with my own cooking, but I've got to keep it healthy.
I am wearing... Green sweater and black pants.
I am creating... I've been trying new crochet patterns...
Braided Scarf
Vintage Lace Afghan
I'll be painting tomorrow.
I am going... to bed in a few minutes. Tomorrow, I plan to go to the store and to walk at the track with a friend.
I am wondering... With what’s going on with me. I drove to Anniston today to run some errands and I was absolutely out of my tree! I've never been this nervous, unfocused, and panicky while driving to familiar places. No one else on the road was driving crazily; it was all quite calm and normal around me. I hope this isn't the start of a trend or an illness. I'm not in the mood!
I am reading... Read a great blog post from Jon Acuff. I'm pondering what it means to my life. This quote cuts right to the heart of the matter:
But here’s something I feel like God asked me once when it comes to regret:"
Am I not more powerful than regret?”
That’s a simple question, but at the heart of it is a problem. When you are afraid you might make a mistake you act as if God is not in the business of redeeming mistakes. You act as if you could make a mistake he could not handle. You act as if God is smaller than your mistakes.
I am hoping...that the answer finally comes.
I am looking forward to... SPRING! and, no, I don't CARE if it's January!
I am learning… that time is short and my list is very long. Around the house... Staying warm.
I am pondering... is it too late for me?
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favorite quote for today... "Vegans complaining about hot dogs is like the Amish being mad about gas prices." - Bill "Bubba" Bussey from the Rick and Bubba Show.
One
of my favorite things... Ernie Ball Power Slinky bass guitar strings.
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few plans for the rest of the week:
Not sure. I know what I want to do, but not sure if I can do it.
Every January 1st since 1976 Lake Superior University has published a list of words they'd like to see banished from the Queen's English. Words may be banished due to misuse, overuse or just general uselessness (go here to read more about how the words were chosen). Here are the words/phrases they'd like to see banished in 2014-
selfie, twerk/twerking, hashtag, Twittersphere, Mr. Mom, T-bone, ____on steroids, the suffixes-ageddon, and -pocalypse added to anything and everything, from the world of politics the words-intellectually/morally bankrupt and Obamacare, and from the world of sports the words-adversity and fan base
Which of these words/phrases would you most like to see banished from everyday speech and why? Is there a word not on the list you'd like to add?
The phrase "couldn't care less" should be eliminated. Most people don't use it right anyway. They usually say "could care less," which is a misuse. Most of the words on the list are OK; it is what the words represent that make me wish they would disappear (e.g. Obamacare and twerk).
What one unfinished project nags at you begging to be completed in this new year?
The Bible correspondence course I started several years ago.
When did you last have a bowl of soup? What kind? Homemade or from a can? What's your favorite soup?
I made vegetable soup about two weeks ago. I could sure go for a bowl of soup right now (we've had several days of frigid temps here in Alabama). My favorite soups are Campbell's Chicken Noodle Soup and the egg drop soup from The Golden Dragon; one of our local Chinese restaurants.
Snowed in, snowed under, snow job...which one most applies to your life in recent days, figuratively speaking.
WARNING: This is where Auntie will now vent. Snow job, definitely. First off, I had to look up what snow job meant. From the online urban dictionary: "An effort to deceive, overwhelm, or persuade with insincere talk, especially flattery." This is something that is especially troubling to me lately. Last week, I was asked by someone in an organization I occasionally assist if I wanted to go to a conference in February. I said no. They said, "well, you're a leader, so you need to go." Oh, this is the week I get to be labeled a leader? I'm labeled as dog crap the rest of the time. What gives? (this was not something I thought, I actually said it) Now, to be fair, the person who asked was not the culprit; the person he was asking for was the culprit. His answer, "Well, the only thing keeping you from being a leader is you." Do what?
As I said in a post from December: I don't know if I have administrative gifts or not. I've not been given the opportunity to find out. Anytime I've been in a leadership type role, those who know they are such gifted overran any opportunities I had to assert myself or to be a part of the decision making process. So, I just kind of go along to get along now. It's like this, don't tell me I'm a vital leader in your business/organization then take away any power I would have to be a leader.
The snow job comes in when I'm flattered about my gifts and talents because the real leadership wants me to do something. And no, I don't mind doing what I do--that's fun. BUT don't make me a "leader" when it is simply to make you look good, but never allow me to be a part of the real leadership process.
What's the funniest movie you've ever seen, or at least one of the funniest?
Muppets from Space was pretty funny. I watched it with my preschool classes about 35 times. I need to buy myself a copy and watch it again. I haven't seen it in a while.
In general, would you say you're clumsy?
Not really. I'm not accident prone. It's just that on the rare occasion that I have a misstep, it tends to be catastrophic and painful.
Elvis Presley was born on Hodgepodge Day (January 8th) back in 1935. Are you an Elvis fan? What's your favorite Elvis tune? If that's too hard, which Elvis tune do you dislike the least? Click here for a list of his songs.
I'm not really an Elvis fan (no, I promise I'm not in Al Queda). In high school we played the song All Shook Up during our halftime show. That's about it.
