31 Days of 5 Minute Free Writes 06: "Possible"

Matthew 23:24 - Ye blind guides, which strain at a gnat, and swallow a camel.

 

GO!

Is it possible?

 

Is it possible that we women have been sold a load of bull that has made us all freakin' crazy?

 

What am I talking about?

 

Someone I know struggles with her weight and talks to her friends about getting healthy.  The friends all burst into:

 

"You're beautiful inside and out."

"God loves you just the way you are."

"Girl, curves are in.  I wouldn't change a thing."

 

Fast forward a few months, same person hints that she's getting married and wants to lose weight for the wedding.  Now, it's:

 

"Congratulations, you can do it."

"Hey, I saw this banana diet on the internet that might work for you."

"I'll be there with you the whole way, cheering you on."

"Girl, say yes to the dress!"

"You need to be beautiful for that day."

 

and blah blah blah until I think my head is going to explode. 

 

I'm talking about value.

 

This sweet lady had no value in her friend's eyes until there was marriage and a man involved.  No one cared about this girl's health as long as she was single.  Now that she's going to become one of "them," it's full speed ahead now--crash diets, master cleanses, other bad advice, and all.  #SMH

 

Is it possible that we women have allowed ourselves to be duped into being that stupid, shallow, and demeaning to ourselves and others?  Is it possible?

 

STOP!

 

 

Happy Inadequate Virgin Day [30 Day Photo Blog]

The only days I ever sit in the back of the church are Mother's Day, Father's Day, and anytime the sermons are about marriage.  Today was, of course, a combo deal.

During the first service, my Pastor asked the question:  Have we become jaded toward marriage?  In my experience, that's the wrong question to ask.  The real question is why have we become jaded toward marriage?  Quite frankly it is because of the way it's sold to singles, especially us females. 

I found this information flyer in my recovery files while I was purging for my move.  Read over this and ponder it:

Ok.  I know that this technically is a scan, not a photo.  :)

Does this not sound like how marriage is presented?  How many wives have you heard bragging about how they whined and pouted to their husbands to get their way?  How many men have had to give up their God-given calling because their wives had a better plan than God?  How many singles have you seen who felt the pressure of church society to get married and ended up hooking up with the wrong person?  Hey I know he's a drunk and he sleeps around and beats her, but hey, she's married.  She's one of us.

Is this what we really want to present to people?  Is that what has become of a wonderful God-created covenant?

It's Ray-Ray and Honey Boo-Boo

A sweet thing that did happen at church was the baby dedication.  Y'all know how much I love babies.  You've read some of my stories of being a preschool teacher.  You've seen pictures of Auntie's babies (two of which came to see me today--see picture).  So you know that I have no problem with children.  It's grown people who raise my hackles.

When I was teaching, I was once asked What is the biggest obstacle to successfully teaching children?  THEIR PARENTS!  Just as marriage has become a co-dependent nightmare, children have become a commodity--mere chattel.  Most of my students had good parents.  Some didn't.  So God called me to fill that gap.  Unlike motherhood, it did not matter that there was no honor, no holiday for that.  So the baby dedication was precious though I didn't even know the family.  They are a part of our church family.

After church I went by the apartment to check on stuff and to give Mom her Mother's Day gift.  Good thing.  Two to my babies, who didn't know I was moving asked their mom to bring them by to see me.  I got hugs, sugars, and a strawberry Dum-Dum sucker.  These flowers were blooming in mom's yard.  We didn't know their names.  I looked it up.  They are called Grassleaf Roselings.  Gorgeous!  Afterwards, Mama and I went to Captain D's.

A beautiful evening after church

Since we didn't have worship team practice this evening, I visited my friend Sue's church--what her granddaughter calls her "Old Fogey" church.  I liked her "Old Fogey" church.  It reminded me of the early days of attending my home church;  we sang many of the same praise choruses, and the congregation was just a passel of good old down to earth country folks.  Just like the Pastor of both my home church, and my current church, this Pastor gave a sermon I could sink my teeth into.  His message on hindrances to prayer was definitely a "word in due season" for me.  When I get another day off in June, if they are having service, I'll be visiting again.  It will be a good supplement to the spiritual meals I'm already getting.

A day that started with sadness ended with joy.

Breaking the Broom: 30-Day Blog Challenge, Day 18

Your wedding/future wedding/wedding you have attended.  
[Blog Challenge:  Day 18] 
 

My niece Shayla's wedding

You ever notice that the word "engaged" has the word "gag" in the middle of it?  - Rosie O'Donnel, Comedienne

 

You'd better remember that every time you pray to the Lord Jesus, you're praying to a single adult. - Mark Lowery, Comedian

 

Marriage is ministry, and unless you're prepared to minister to the man of God, don't mess over him! - Juanita Bynum, Minister

 

I must be an odd bird.  When I was a little girl, I didn't fantasize about Prince Charming showing up and sweeping me off my feet.  My friends were always aggravated with me because I didn't like to play with Barbie and Ken, and when I did, I didn't do it "right." -- You know, Barbie is supposed to date Ken, they fall in love, get married, and live happily ever after. **snort**  As a teenager, I didn't linger over bridal magazines and talk about what my wedding would be like.  As an adult, I've attended a couple of weddings, even been a hostess at one, but as lovely as they were, they frustrated me more than encouraged me. 

 

Now, as a bona fide Old Fart Single, I would like to meet someone special, get married, and have kids (while I still can).  However, I am also very realistic about my issues and the damage that I'm still dealing with.  No man deserves to have to deal with that mess.  Men are tired of damaged, needy women.  I want to be a strong, confident diva, worthy of a good man.

 

With that being said, here's a rundown of a few highlights of my future wedding:

• I would rent my dress and take a lot of pictures.  Doesn't seem economical to pay hundreds (if not thousands) of dollars for a dress I'm only going to wear once.  Well, what about you daughter?  What about her?  Why should I put pressure on her to wear (and fit into) a dress just because I wore it?
• My wedding colors will be either red and white (Roll Tide/Go Gamecocks/Boom Thunder) or purple/lavender and white (no team, purple is one of my favorite colors).
• Speaking of pictures: Yes, I would hire a photographer, but I would also do what my sister Ida did at her wedding.  She had a basket of single-use cameras for us to take pictures and turn back in.  She had all the good pictures put on photo discs to give out.  I read somewhere that this was considered tacky.  It's not tacky, it practical.  Name me one photographer who can be everywhere at once and catch every precious moment with the couple, their families, and their friends?  You can't, can you?
• I would not put my bridesmaids in ugly dresses.  Now granted, most weddings I've been to, the bridesmaid dresses were cute.  That should be the norm, but it isn't.  I've seen some butt ugly bridesmaid dresses that make me glad I've never been a bridesmaid.
• Neither my home church nor my current church have center isles...and I LIKE IT.  I do not want the wedding to be all about me.  Most weddings are about the bride, and the groom just kind of sits back and says, "Whatever you want, honey."  No!  This is about both of us.  I want his entrance to be as honored as mine.  The congregation should stand when he enters.  There should be flower petals scattered on the ground to greet the prince and well as the princess.
• I don't want the traditional "Here Comes the Bride" played at the wedding.  I would like my husband and I to enter to the song "Love" by Petra.  (Video link below)
• I want solid Bible-based wedding vows.  Some of the traditional vows make me want to flee for the hills.

• 

  My sister Ida made her
   gorgeous wedding dress

  Sorry, my friends, but I am not jumping the broom.  For those who don't know what that is, jumping the broom is an African American (I call them Black folks) tradition started during the era of slavery.  Since slaves were not allowed to marry, they would signify their union by jumping over a broom or broom handle.  I ain't doin' it!
• I'm sure that this is tacky, but if something is not in the budget, we're just not going to do it, no matter how fashionable it is.  I remember when a former coworker was getting married, she kept pulling people from work and leaving customers waiting to do freebies for her wedding.  If I can't make it myself or pay someone to do it, it won't be done.  So, yes, my wedding reception may just be everyone meeting over at the Rocket for barbeque. 
• OK, so if the reception isn't at the Rocket, we will be having an 80's dance party.  If anyone is too stuffy for that, they can go wait in the car!  However, there will not be any alcohol served at the reception.  If that bothers you...you know where the parking lot is.  Neither my husband, nor I will be responsible for any drunk driving accidents, or anything stupid someone does before, during, or after the reception because they were wasted.
• Instead of the throwing of the bouquet, I would do what my friend, Heather, did at her wedding.  She threw a handful of single silk roses with an encouraging message attached.  That put the emphasis on being satisfied with where we were then, instead of waiting around for Mr. Right, or worse yet, Mr. Good Enough For Right Now.  If my husband is on board, he could throw garters with the same type of message attached.
• This is a little TMI, but we're only going to be at the reception for an hour, two at most.  I've waited too long for this.  I'm not going into my honeymoon all tired and ill.  When we've eaten and said hey to everyone, we're gone!  C'ya! 

  

{I'm linking up with So, Funny Story http://ktslifeisfunny.blogspot.com for this 30 day  blog challenge.}