Five Minute Friday: "Loud"

Ecclesiastes 4:10 - "...But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up."

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Loud.

Everything was just too loud.  I head a headache most of the time I was in Alabama.

Grief rings loud in my ears. Yet I must remain silent.

The weeping of my family at my mom's graveside is a loud symphony of sorrow.  My stoic strength is what they all needed, yet stifling my loud grief hurt like hell.

The breaking of my heart is as loud as a whole china cabinet full of fine crystal and dishes being dashed to the floor all at once, yet I must remain silent to respect my family's brokenness at saying goodbye to mama.

My family coped by making noise--loud music, loud talking, cussing, and stupid questions about why I'm not married yet, loud behavior, and the loud breath of alcohol, cigarettes, and weed.  So loud that I felt sick and needed to get away--not from my family, but from the loud!

But where could I go?

Even when I got in the car and drove around Anniston, everything still felt too loud.  I got no comfort and no relief.  I was not there for me, but for others. I had to accept that.

When I got back to Colorado, I finally got quiet and my headache went away, yet the loud roar of pain was still there. There is still no comfort, only the loud, hateful noise of sorrow.

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