You Ain't Done Nothin' if...

In the spirit of Jeff Foxworthy's "You might be a redneck if..." I've come up with a few indicators of whether we're serious about this fitness thing or not.  Caution, sense of humor required; please put on big girl/boy panties now.

• If you've never nearly, or really, upchucked during a workout...you ain't done nothin'!
• If you've never broken a wire in your bra while jogging...you ain't done nothin'!  (You too, ladies)
• If you've done what you considered a hard workout and didn't burp, fart or have to pee at some point in it...you ain't done nothin'!
• If you've never suffered the embarrassment of being lapped by a senior citizen at a 5k...you ain't done nothin'!  True story, I almost got beaten in a 5k race  by an 89 year old man...twice!  You go, Paw-Paw!
• If you've never done Zumba and cried...you ain't done nothin'!
• If you've never done the Fred Sanford walk after getting off a bicycle...you ain't done nothin'!
• If you've never eaten enough fiber to disrupt a workout (if you know what I mean)...you ain't done nothin'!
• If you've never gotten off an elliptical machine and wondered if you would ever bear children...you ain't done nothin'!
• If you've never fallen asleep in your sweaty, stinky workout clothes...you ain't done nothin'!
• If you've never caught a cramp in a place you didn't even know you had muscles...you ain't done nothin'!  (Toe cramp, anyone?)
• If you think that "eating more from the rainbow" requires a bag of Skittles or M&M's...you ain't done nothin'!
• If you've never been too tired to eat...you ain't done nothin'!
• If you think a 5k is a bra size...you ain't done nothin'!
• If you've never passed a rack of awesome pumps in favor of the New Balance rack at the shoe store... you ain't done nothin'!  (You too, ladies)
• If you've never peed on yourself trying to do a plank...you ain't done nothin'!
• If you interchange the terms "5k" and "marathon"...you ain't done nothin'!
• If you're insulted by getting fitness gear for birthdays, anniversaries, or Christmas...you ain't done nothin'!
• Add your own here.