Title: The Year of Yes. (Kindle Edition)Author: Shonda Rhimes
Info: Copyright 2016: New York: Simon and Schuster
Rating (on a scale of 1-4 stars): ✮
Where Acquired: Library Checkout
Category: Impulse Reads. I saw it in a related reading list somewhere and thought it sounded good.
Synopsis: Rhimes, writer and executive producer of Grey's Anatomy and Scandal chronicles her "Year of yes." Prompted by her older sister to stop saying no to everything and start living life, Rhimes embarks on a year-long yes quest.
Favorite Quotes:
Now, I’m no fool. I’m not one of those mothers who allows her children to behave like monsters and walk all over me. I was raised old-school. I strive to be old-school. My kids are not my friends. They are my children. My goal is not to get them to like me. My goal is to raise citizens. My world does not revolve around them. The only helicopter in my life is the toy helicopter that the kids play with. So my response to my daughter Harper isn’t a wringing of my hands and a tearful apology. Nobody did any hand-wringing and apologizing while raising me and I turned out . . . a writer. “I work to feed and clothe you. Do you want food and clothes? Then be quiet and show some gratitude.” That is what I say to my tween. - p. 67.
Food does work. Food feels so good when you put it on top of all the stuff you don’t want to deal with or know how to deal with. It even works on stuff you don’t even recognize as worthy of dealing with. Food is magic. It makes you feel better. It numbs you. Beautiful magical food deadens your soul just enough so you can’t think too hard about anything other than cake or sleep. Putting food on top of it casts a spell to make the feelings go away. You don’t have to face yourself or think or be anything other than your brain—no body necessary. p. 149
And nothing was more frustrating than seeing a fellow bitter, jaded, toxic, dark and twisty friend find their way up into the sun. Like a vampire trying to save one of its own, you want to drag them back into the dark. And you truly think you are doing the right thing. I was clinging to the dark and twisty misery. p. 244
The Positive:
- It was a quick read.
- I enjoyed Rhimes' conversational writing style.
- Quite frankly, I feel duped, or just plain stupid. I had no idea who Shonda Rhimes was. I didn't know she was some Hollywood starlet. I really thought she was someone I could relate to--a regular person. I've never seen Scandal or Grey's Anatomy. My expectations weren't that I would hear about someone whine about wanting to turn down something I can only dream of being offered.
- This book was poorly edited. There were sentence fragments and unnecessary question marks flying all over the place. A little better editing wouldn't have taken away for the author's writing style. In fact, it would have enhanced it.
- The commencement address she gave at Dartmouth was deplorable, and quite frankly, very self serving. Those kids deserved better. Plus, she gives a big slap in the face to stay at home mothers in her speech that was totally uncalled for.
- Pardon my ignorance, but how can you be the Best Man at someone's wedding if you are a woman? (See page 101). Was this a joke, or a typo?
- While I applaud Rhimes (I think) for adopting two children, her assumption that she speaks for all working moms is, like her commencement speech at Dartmouth, a slap in the face. She is very wealthy and CHOSE to be a single mom of three (she also has a child by surrogate). She can afford to have help. She is the head of her own company and doesn't HAVE to work 12 hour shifts. Many working moms are not that fortunate. I'm not angry at her affluence; I'm angry at her arrogance in thinking she's some crusader for women and moms. I'm disgusted by her whining about it all. What does she want, a cookie? For example, in chapter 6, she goes on and on whining about how much work it is to be a mother, then has the nerve to say, "Let's stop trying to make ourselves indulge in the crappy mythological lady-cult that makes being a mother seem like work." Do what?!
- Some of her material was very misandrous and racist.
- Her views on marriage are atrocious. Yes, I know that's came from me. However, just because I'm old as dirt and not married doesn't mean that I believe that marriage is "a piece of paper...a financial partnership...[that] has nothing to do with love." I understand that even if it's not in the Lord's plan for me, marriage is a wonderful, sacred covenant instituted by God that means far more than Rhimes gives it credit for.
I tried to like this book, but found it totally unrelatable and Rhimes unapproachable. The more the author whined, the more annoyed I got. If it hadn't been such a quick read, I wouldn't have continued to torture myself with it. Parts of this book made me sick to my stomach. It's not simply that I disagree with Rhimes; it's that I couldn't find any common ground. Yes, we are two band nerds who like to write, but that's about it. I'm still struggling to have even a fragment of the kind of life she complains about. I give this book a "honey bunches of NO."
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